Arrested Development Bloopers Novels & Stories

“Stay out of this!” ‎ ‎“MAKE me.” ‎ ‎Trash-Bin Guy stepped forward like he’d been waiting all night for someone to say that. ‎ ‎“Oh my god,” I muttered. “Y’all are going to get me arrested for public stupidity” ‎ ‎“Vivienne!” Derek cut in sharply. “You’re in danger. This isn’t the time to argue.” ‎ ‎I stared at him. Hard. ‎ ‎Because suddenly… something clicked. ‎ ‎The second car. ‎The camera earlier.

My screen was flooded. Every headline, every trending topic had his name in bold letters. Videos of black SUVs surrounding his mansion. Agents dragging boxes of documents out. Blake being escorted in cuffs, his face pale, unshaven and broken. You could tell by his face that he never saw any of this coming either. For a second, I couldn’t breathe. It didn’t feel real. That bastard…arrested? A sharp, uncontrollable laugh escaped my throat. It startled even me. The driver stiffened, clearly confused, but I quickly masked it with a cough and looked out the window, biting the inside of my cheek to hold back the grin threatening to surface.

The last thing I needed now was my father's glare for being distracted during a meeting as critical as this, yet the buzzing persisted — steady and sounding somewhat urgent. I finally reached for the phone, intending to silence it, and my breath caught as I glanced at the screen, my pulse spiking. DEVAN ARRESTED — MURDER INVESTIGATION, ILLEGAL MOVEMENT OF COMPANY FUNDS. For a moment, I thought it to be a mistake. My brain refused to accept the words, and refused to connect Devan's name with the word arrested. The room suddenly began to tilt, and the voices faded into static in my ears. My chair scraped back suddenly, loud against the polished floor, and everyone's eyes turned to me.

— I stand up slowly — “is how you’re going to make it right.” Bree starts sobbing. “We’ll fix it! We’ll fix it! Please—” “Stop crying,” I interrupt. “It’s annoying.” Teddy looks like he’s about to faint. “W-we didn’t mean to get her in trouble—someone told us—” “Who?” I ask, “who didn’t you mean to get in trouble?” “Eloise Perkins” Bree whimpers and I laugh. “Oh so you two dumb bitches do know what you did wrong? That’s amazing”

It skips. “Pause.” Matteo freezes the frame. “Run it back.” There it is, a jump!!! Small and Precise. “How long?” I ask. “Twenty-six seconds,” Matteo answers. I stare at the screen. “That’s not a glitch,” I say quietly. “No, sir.” “That’s a loop.” I turn slowly, scanning the room, every screen, every system suddenly unreliable. “Cameras are compromised,” I say. “They could still be inside,” I add, my voice dropping lower.

"Yeah, I'll – ah, be going to Temple and be back here in about an hour? I'll prepare the appeal for the admin charges that they are going to file." Within five minutes, while trying to hold it together the best she could, dispatch rolled out a wanted on a Russian Mule named Mikhail – Mike Wazowski. The place went nuts. During her broadcast she would stop, obviously trying to gather herself, rebroadcast, and then stop again. What should have been a very fluent professional APB, turned into a thirty-five-second debacle. I looked at Maxine and in my best Billy Crystal voice, I announced, "'That's Mike Wazowski, care of 22 Mike Wazowski You-Got-Your-Life-Back-Lane'."

Brian looked like he immediately regretted having a mouth. For half a second, silence balanced on the edge of catastrophe. Then I laughed. Not elegantly. Not softly. A real, startled laugh that escaped before I could catch it and bounced off the unfinished office walls like it had been waiting days for a reason to exist. Both men looked at me. That only made it worse. I pressed a hand over my mouth, but another laugh slipped through my fingers. “I’m sorry,” I said, absolutely not sounding sorry. “I know this is serious. Very serious. Land records. Don. Shell corporations. Possible murder plots. But you two look like you’re about to have a custody battle over a folder.”

All he did when he was standing again was wipe his eyes, fling the goo off his hands, and look at the giant slug-like creature as it again slowly began to move toward the other side of the road while slime dripped off him. Lindsay and Little Bob were laughing so hard by that point that they were not paying attention to the rest of the video. Lindsay had her head on her desk, trying to catch her breath. Little Bob was now on his knees, leaning on her desk so he would not fall on the floor laughing. “I have said it before, and I will say it again. We need to sell all of Max’s dash camera footage. We would make a fortune if we did,” he said as he gasped for breath.

Things were definitely not as simple as they seemed. Holly's miscarriage couldn't have been out of the blue. Tobin wasted no time in getting someone to do it at once. Trevor's Pavilion was in the antiques market. Tobin got someone to open the gates. They went to Trevor's Pavilion together. Trevor called for his assistants to bring Bryce's men to the surveillance room. When they got there, they realized that the entire shop's surveillance cameras had malfunctioned. The devices encountered errors, and no footage could be retrieved from them.