Bacon X Slender Novels & Stories

"Van, no. I doubt he's ever eaten here." That pretty much said it all. The brothers were as different as night and day. I looked down at my menu, my eyes zeroing in on the specials first. Number one is the meal Joel and Maggs told me about. Six pieces of bacon, six eggs, six pieces of toast and hash browns. I looked up and said, "You're kidding, right. Your arteries haven't frozen in your veins yet."

“At least someone around here has manners.” Stabbing a broccoli with her fork, she pointed towards Grayson greasy meal. “What the fuck is that?” “This is quadrupled stacked bacon, fried egg, melted cheese, and sausage sandwich with toasted bread.” He gently patted the top of his sandwich with a grin. “A work of art. A gift from the gods.” “You should add some spinach on that.”

The refrigerator light cast a cool glow over Chloe as she surveyed the sparse shelves. Aside from a few condiments, a carton of eggs, and a block of sharp cheddar, the only substantial item was a large pack of thick-cut bacon. "Well, your demand for meat is granted," Chloe said, pulling out the bacon and cheese. "But your vegetable drawer is a graveyard, Thalia. We are making gourmet breakfast sandwiches for lunch." "Meat, cheese, and bread. Sounds perfect," Thalia rumbled, already leaning against the counter and reaching into a low cabinet for a heavy cast-iron skillet.

Bethany ends up laughing at herself, “meat… bacon? Sausages… God, I don’t know what I want! My stomach is growling at everything I consider.” I find myself laughing along with her, “right. Name five things that you want apart from the crisps, chocolate and milkshake.” The shifter gene in her baby must be sending her body insane with need for food to help the accelerated growth. “Strawberries and bananas, sausages- the yummy Lincolnshire ones, southern fried chicken steaks and errrrrrrr sour cream and onion pringles,” is her answer. Promising to be quick, I gather up the shopping in a trolley and whisk through the checkout; deciding to walk, I head up to her house in the cool evening air.

Scott snorts at these suggestions in a manner I don’t appreciate, and I tell him as much, before dusting off my old Slimfast welcome pack and ‘Syn’ point calculator. Worse, he’s now looking at me with an air of amused disbelief as I walk around the supermarket calculating the Slimfast ‘Syn’ value of our foodstuff before it goes into the trolley. We currently have one celery (0syns), a large bag of bean-shoots (same), a box of ice cream (5 per serving – I’ve got to have a treat occasionally), a piece of Brie (5, ditto), two bottles of Pinot Grigio (24 syns in total – I have a stressful job), and a tub of margarine (1 per teaspoon – to be used sparingly).

After a short while, the sound of food being chopped could be heard from the kitchen. Stella stretched her neck and asked, "Mom, are you making more dishes?" Grace did not respond. But not much later, she brought out a plate of specially processed smoked asparagus wrapped in bacon. She said, "I soaked the ingredients in water to reduce its salt content. I even removed all the fat from the bacon. So, this dish isn't high in fat or salt content. Eating this won't have a significant impact on your weight loss plan." Grace thought, 'Stella is so slim. Losing more weight might turn her into a stick. But for the sake of her work, she continues dieting every day. She's stopping herself from eating

His hair still damp, wearing a dark T-shirt thrown on carelessly—yet he still looked like a predator who'd accidentally wandered into civilization. He stopped in the doorway, scanned the table, then glanced at Sloane. "What the hell is this?" "Breakfast," she replied dryly. Lennox walked over, looked down at the plate, then the smoothie, then back at her. "This is more food than I eat in a week." "Maybe that's the problem," she said without flinching. "The portions are calculated precisely for your weight and activity level. You won't gain weight. You'll survive."

And she was being fattened up for the slaughter. She let out an exasperated groan as she speed walked on the treadmill, sweat dripping down her forehead. After that big huge breakfast omelet loaded with hashbrowns, peppers, onions and at least a full cup of sharp gooey cheddar, along with 4 slices of crispy bacon and two slices of buttered toast. She felt as though her pores were excreting pure grease. She should not have devoured it all....yet she did and now she had to try and eliminate some of the blubber that would accumulate on her rump & hips. She certainly did not need added weight in those areas.

I felt like I had been tricked to enter this situation that I already dreaded from the start. “We ran out of bacon so I’m cooking marinated bacon sliced pork instead. I didn’t cook rice. There’s so much bread that we need to consume asap,” I told Quim like I’m the master of the pantry. I knew he’s around and would pop out anytime. I placed the cooked bacon sliced pork and eggs on the kitchen table. I’ll let him get some if he wants but I’m never serving him again. “Bacon sliced pork as substitute for real bacon is smart and healthier too,” he said.

And she’s never insecure about anything, so I feel validated this time, "What is this? I'm starving.” "I made you this bacon madness," he says and places a BLT with mostly bacon and a lot of avocado in front of me. With a huge side of chips, "It had a lot more bacon but Bobbie kept stealing it and I was working with limited resources because your mom only had two little packages. We need to make her a list."