Bad Pun Jokes Novels & Stories

Andrea has always being her twin's shadow. The quiet, obedient daughter cast aside for being less than perfect Aria, the ruthless perfectionist is engaged to the dangerously powerful Mafia King, Alexander Hawthorne. But perfection slips When Aria’s betrayal destroys Alexander’s only lead to his missing parents, he doesn’t want revenge, he wants ruin. He wants to do something to her that will redefine the word sadistic. Terrified of the monster she’s let loose, Aria forces Andrea into a deadly swap, using a secret from their past to blackmail her. On their wedding day Andrea is publicly humiliated when someone finds Alexander being intimate with the daughter of an ambassador. The guests mock and ridicule her for not being able to keep her man. Even though her marriage was a lie she still felt humiliated. Andrea arrives at the Hawthorne estate expecting tedious chores and slandering. Instead, she becomes a prisoner in rough sheets and locked doors. Alexander doesn’t see innocence. He sees betrayal. He plans to make her pay for every lie, every secret, including a horrific crime against his cook’s daughter. But Andrea isn’t Aria. She tries hard not to slip or act out of character. But Aria wasn't just a spoilt brat, she had gotten on nerves of many evil people and they want a pound of her flesh. As Aria's enemies close in on Andrea and the truth threatens to explode, Alexander has to protect the woman he had wanted to badly hurt. Andrea has to make a choice. Tell Alexander she's not who he thinks she is or let the secret she's kept for years get exposed and face the wrath of her parents and the law.

The day my biological family comes to take me home, a car accident occurs. My parents and the fake son who had been living my life all die, but my sister, Kayla Bennett, survives. She despises me completely after that and blames the company's bankruptcy on me too. Desperate to make amends, I work over ten jobs a day, giving her every cent I earn so she can buy back the villa that has all our family memories. The day I finally save enough money, I discover my supposedly dead parents inside that same villa, celebrating Dylan Bennett's birthday. My usually cold sister is laughing warmly with them. As they bring out the cake, Mom mentions me. "Today's Nathan's birthday too. We've been punishing him for eight years now. Maybe we should bring him home?" Kayla cuts her off immediately. "We agreed on ten years to make sure he never suggests sending Dylan away again. Not one year less!" I clutch my medical report and laugh through my tears. But Kayla, I'm dying.

Contains intense sexual scenes. Fully BL. TRIGGER WARNINGS ⚠⚠⚠ Wrongful use of hockey stick. Dub-Con. Voyeurism. Stalking. Manipulation. Mild violence. ASPD. Identity theft. Machiavellianism. Revenge has never been this wet, neither has Hate ever been this hard. On this ice... There are no safe words. Asher swears he's straight. Torren insists he came for revenge. But every locker room stare between them turns violent with want, and every heated argument stays in mind longer. They broke the wrong twin. Torren steals his twin brother's identity to take revenge on the VENOMS but a single Collison on the ice reveal blazing desire. The Venoms are the four untouchable heirs that rule Michigan High School, they shattered Remington Vladimir Gallagher's legs on the ice, leaving him bound to a wheelchair. But now, his identical twin, Torren, is back for vengeance after spending seven months in military training. With six weeks of ice practice, and one stolen identity. Torren stalks them with a ghost mask at night and By day, he torments them on ice. Starting with Asher, their captain. But heat sparks when Torren crashes into Remington on ice, with their bodies pressing together and Asher's hard cock pressing against him, something changes

Book 1: My Badboy Knight Tasha: I should know better than to fall for another guy who might break my heart again. But Nate Adams stormed into my life, crumbling down the walls I began building around my heart. He makes me want to fall in love again. This time, with him. Nate: Tasha Quinn is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Everything about her is beautiful. Hot. Sexy. Perfect. I am fucking in love with her. I have always been in love with her. She is my sweetest addiction. Book 2: The Playboy King Diane: Leo King doesn't give a fuck about love, dating, or any other cupid shit like that. He never lacks enough women to fuck in bed, is annoyingly attractive, and constantly oversteps his boundaries around me. Just because he's the heir to the generational wealth of the King Family doesn't mean he can have any woman at his beck and call. College was supposed to be my chance to start my life afresh, away from my past traumas. But Leo King is making things very hard for me. And living with him is also not helping me at all. Leo: Diane Brandon is the pain in my ass. Ever since she started living with me after my sister Marissa relocated to France, she's been dictating to me how I should live my life in my own house. I hate how she also acts like she is some quiet angel with no demons. But everyone has a skeleton in their closet, whether big or small, and I can feel down to my bones that Diane is hiding something truly dark beneath that cheerful, seductive mask of hers. She is making my life miserable. A little dig-up for payback wouldn't hurt.

Danilo Ramos has always known how to survive—by staying invisible. At school, he’s the quiet, smart kid with just enough charm to ghost his way through hallways, avoid the spotlight, and bury every truth that might expose him. Carter Hayes, on the other hand, is all danger and detachment, a bad boy, and the last person Danilo should even be looking at. But Danilo couldn't stop himself. He craved him. Always has. And when Carter rescues Danilo one night in an alleyway, everything changes. Lines blur. Glances linger. "You keep looking at me like that, Ramos, and I might start thinking you want something." "And if I do?" "Then you better be ready for it." “I am ready.” But Danilo’s father—wealthy, cold, and homophobic—can never find out the truth about his son. In a world where one wrong move could mean losing everything, Danilo must choose: keep playing the part everyone expects… or step into the spotlight and finally live the truth he’s been hiding.

The day my mafia boss husband, Zann Lima, went bankrupt, a car accident crippled both his legs. He was paralyzed from the waist down. I inherited his astronomical debt, and with it, the responsibility to care for him for the rest of his life. For an entire year, I was beaten by debt collectors until I vomited blood, yet I couldn’t bear to buy painkillers. I collapsed from exhaustion working eight jobs a day, yet I couldn’t bear to take a day off. Every penny I earned went toward keeping Zann alive. I believed this was love’s steadfast devotion, until one night, when I was delivering drinks at a club. I stumbled upon the man who was supposed to be sitting and waiting for me at home in his wheelchair, now clinking glasses with his guests, who all revered him as Don!

The wheat has yet to ripen when my Grandma, Julia Simmon, appears to me in a dream. "There will be a plague of locusts in the autumn. Sell off the produce and raise fish to ensure the family has income." I, Vanessa West, convince my parents to harvest the wheat for grain and feed before irrigating the fields to raise fish. Then, a severe drought strikes and the fish die, leaving my family drowning in debt. We're at a loss to know what to do. Then, Grandma appears in my dreams again. "There are gold bars buried under the oak tree on the hill at our old home. Selling them will sort out our debts and leave you with money to spare." After telling my father, Alan West, this, he digs up a whole crate of white powder. The police happen to be staking out the area. They have him arrested, thinking that he means to buy the drugs. For the amount he gets caught with, he faces life imprisonment. My mother, Hannah Smith, is unable to bear the sight of this and faints on the spot. Again, Grandma appears to me in a dream and offers guidance. "Dr. Hank Vance at Central Hospital can cure her. If you don't hurry, she'll be in danger!" Desperate to save my mother, I threaten Dr. Vance with my life, and he agrees to operate on her. Then, my boyfriend gets into a car accident and urgently needs treatment. However, he succumbs to his injuries due to my asking for Dr. Vance. In the meantime, Mom doesn't receive treatment in time. As she is dying, Mom weeps, asking me why I ruined the entire family. Then, she passes away on the operating table. My boyfriend's parents think I am responsible for their son's death, and they stab me 18 times. While being rushed to the emergency room, I see Grandma again. However, she is grinning maliciously as she plunges a knife into my heart, mimicking the stabs I got from real life and giving me a ruptured heart. I died without understanding why Grandma's appearances led to my family's end. I open my eyes and find out that I've returned to the day Grandma told me to sell our crops.

“You really should stop doing that, mi angeles,” he growled as she rubbed against his cock. " I'm seconds away from tearing your clothes apart, bending you over this desk and fucking your ass raw.” " What if that's what I want, uncle?” ~~~ Aaira is suddenly shipped off to her uncle after living twenty two years of her life as a sheltered princess. Life with her uncle is different. Freedom, friends and school; all things she never had. But there's also the slow burn tension between her and her uncle. Something she can't seem to fight off. They want each other and might not care that it's against the rules

Blurb “Admit it, you want me,” Frank said, staring deep into my eyes like I was the best thing he had ever seen. “I…don't.” “Real believable glasses.” He murmured, inching closer and closer. “Stop me if you truly believe your body isn't aching for me like mine is.” And then he claimed my lips in a searing hot kiss that left my body aching for him and my pussy dripping. Mimi Salvador has one rule: keep her fantasies on paper. The awkward, book-smart college writer has spent years hiding behind her laptop, secretly crafting spicy fanfiction about her stepbrother, Danny, the campus hockey golden boy. But when a mix-up at his game hands her smutty manuscript to his arrogant rival, Frank Santiago, her carefully built world combusts. Frank, cocky, tattooed, and maddeningly irresistible, should be her worst nightmare. Instead, he becomes her reluctant savior, claiming to be her boyfriend to save her from public humiliation. But pretending to date the campus bad boy comes with consequences… like stolen kisses that feel too real, late-night texts that make her heart race, and the terrifying realization that she might be writing her next fanfiction about him. Now Mimi’s torn between the boy she’s always loved and the one who’s making her rewrite every fantasy she’s ever had. In a campus where secrets spread faster than gossip, one mistake could cost her everything, including her heart. steamy, enemies-to-lovers, fake-dating hockey romance about love, lust, and learning that sometimes the best stories are the ones that write themselves.

"You’re being bullied. I’m being harassed and stalked by my past flings, so why don’t we help each other out, nerd?" "How?" "It’s easy. Be my girlfriend." "Like a fake girlfriend?" "Yeah, that. Your presence is gonna keep those bitches away and I get to keep your bullies away. Problem solved." When the school's bad boy proposes an enticing offer to the school’s nerd, it feels like the perfect plan at the moment. She becomes his fake girlfriend, resolving his chaotic sexual life, and he gets to defend her from her bullies. A fantastic plan, with zero loopholes. But what happens when the desires and sentiments set in between them? Do they make a plan out of that too, or are they trapped for life? Can they find a common ground to groom these intense feelings in a Pack where hierarchy rules, forbidding them from being together? Or would they have to let go of each other?