Bad Pun Jokes Novels & Stories

All because I opened a window to air out the room, my husband’s childhood sweetheart, Celine Ashcroft, caught a cold. In a fit of rage, my husband, Ronan Blackwood, had his men bind me and drag me down to the ice cellar despite my being five months pregnant. "Don’t think that just because you’re carrying my child, you can bully Celine. If even a single hair on her head is harmed, I’ll make you repay it a hundredfold!" Shivering violently from the cold, I knelt through tears, begging for forgiveness. I promised that from now on I would serve his precious sweetheart well to atone, that I would never again let her suffer even the slightest harm. He only gave a cold order to seal the cellar, saying I needed to be taught a lesson so it would be burned into my memory. A week later, when Celine finally recovered from her cold, he finally remembered me in the cellar. "Vesper, have you truly realized your mistake? As long as you agree to kneel and apologize to Celine immediately, I’ll spare you." What he didn’t know was that by then, I had already frozen stiff in that ice cellar. And the child he had treasured so dearly no longer showed even the faintest sign of life.

Kyra never believed in miracles. At twenty, she’d already stopped hoping, beaten by the hands of the man who called himself her father, ignored by the world that never cared to notice her bruises. The only thing she ever wanted was escape. When her friend drags her to a secret BDSM bar, Kyra expects nothing more than another disappointment. But in a room filled with power and control, her broken gaze meets his—the Master, the man everyone fears and obeys. A single look, and something inside her cracks. He gives her his card but she throws it away. Until the night her father’s fists nearly kill her and she finds herself crawling back to the only man who ever looked at her like she was worth saving. But when she stands before him again, begging to be his sub, Kyra doesn’t realize the truth. The man she’s surrendering to is not just the Master of the bar. He’s her new professor. And he’s been waiting for her to come back.

She was a destitute woman whose life was dependent on others. She was forced to be a scapegoat and traded herself, which resulted in her pregnancy. He considered that she was the ultimate embodiment of evil as she was greed and deceitful. She tried all her efforts to win his heart but failed. Her departure made him so furious that he searched through the ends of the world and managed to recapture her. The whole city knew that she would be shredded into a million pieces. She asked him in desperation, “I left our marriage with nothing, so why won’t you let me go?”In a domineering tone, he answered, “You’ve stolen my heart and given birth to my child, and you wish to escape from me?”

"Leo, please stop, not so fast!" I panted hard, my fingers clenching the edge of the table as he overwhelmed me with the intensity of his thrusts. "If you beg for pleasure, you should be able to handle it when I give you some." He growled against my ear, tracing the side of my neck with his tongue, sending a jolt of pleasure. The sensation kept building so quickly that it made my vision turn black. It was pure rapture. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~**~*~ Penny Williams, an orphan working for her uncle, spends her days tending horses on the palace grounds until one day, she is blackmailed into a dangerous mission. She must seduce the Duke of Mountbatten, the dangerously magnetic Leander Vance Bauer. But what happens when the seducer becomes the seduced? One brush of the Duke's ruthless charm shatters her resolve, leaving her trembling and craving more of his touch. Nights burn hotter than her lies, and every stolen moment pushes her closer to a pleasure that could ruin her. With her vengeful ex lurking in the shadows, Penny must choose: betray the Duke or surrender to the forbidden heat that might destroy them both.

[I found out Daniel Ortega, the notorious delinquent at my high school, is actually a cat-loving gentle soul. Now, it's time to use it against him to get what I want.] Things get a lot more exciting for Logan Smith, a 17-year-old student from Skyland high school, when he catches Daniel Ortega in a vulnerable state. Logan is a scholarship boy-a genius prodigy who is expected to get into the best college once he graduates. Daniel Ortega is seen as the walking terror in high school. He is rough around the edges, tattooed, tall and muscular, and rumored to be a complete psychopath. But underneath his scarred skin hides a big heart. Daniel, however, doesn't want anyone to find out about his soft heart. His reputation as a bad boy makes people leave him alone, and he intends to keep it that way. But the problem arises when Logan finds out his secret. He threatens to expose Daniel as a secretly nice person unless Daniel beats up one of Logan's bullies on his behalf. Daniel doesn't like violence, but he has no choice but to agree since he doesn't want to lose his reputation as the high school bad boy. The sooner Daniel beats up the bully, the sooner he can return to being a lone wolf. He wants nothing to do with him after, yet, Logan seems to be attracted to him like the moth to a flame, and Danny can't seem to get rid of him!

After my family goes bankrupt, my younger brother, Simone Novello, is diagnosed with ALS. Just as I think I can't do anything anymore, Don Luigi Sartori decides to propose to me. Five years into the marriage, not only have I obtained all of Luigi's love, but he's also groomed my body to the maximum in bed. Thinking that this is a sign of love from Luigi, I cooperate with him even more passionately in bed. But when I'm delivering wine in a clubhouse one day, I witness Simone, who's supposed to be wheelchair-ridden, chatting with Luigi with a smile while clad in a high-end suit. "Simone, you've been pretending to be afflicted with ASL for five years just to punish Caterina for scolding Maria back then. Now that Maria is in a good mood and plans to return to the country, shouldn't you stop punishing Caterina then?" Simone sneers at Luigi. "I'll have my doctor inform her that I will recover after some time." "ASL is a deadly and incurable disease, you know. How can you possibly recover from it? Will Caterina even believe that excuse?" Simone flashes Luigi a confident smile. "Caterina is stupid, remember? Since when doesn't she believe anything we spout? Anyway, we'll just make it up to her in the future." I lower my head, feeling my tears rolling down my cheeks quietly. The thing is, Simone, there's no more future for me. Your ASL is a lie, but the deadly disease plaguing me is real.

Alexa. Queen bee. Popular. And above all, secretly mischievous. Devon. Silent rebel. Bike guy. Bad boy When these two cross paths, will sparks ignite, or will thunders roar? When Alexa pranks her boyfriend as revenge for forgetting their date night, everything seems to be fun, except that she pink spray painted the wrong bike. Turns out, it's the school's new student. A handsome devil too, that's seriously pissed with her. When their game of who intimidates who turns into more, Alexa isn't sure if she can trust him with her heart.

Haunted by her sister Sofia’s murder, marked by the signature black rose of the powerful Moretti crime family, FBI Agent Elena Rossi goes deep undercover as “Lia Moretti.” Her mission: find the killer and burn the organization from within her greatest obstacle: Dante Moretti, the lethally perceptive underboss who sees through her disguise almost immediately. Instead of exposing her, Dante makes her a twisted offer: her secrets become his to control, and in return, he grants her his protection from the rest of the family, for whom discovery means a death sentence. Forced into his trajectory as his personal project, Elena walks on a razor’s edge between her mission and her survival, while Dante’s cold dominance ignites a dangerous, all-consuming passion. As Elena digs for the truth, she finds her sister’s trail leads shockingly close to Dante himself. Her investigation is a minefield of conflicting clues, betraying her badge and her sister’s memory with every moment she spends in his arms. When a black rose appears on her own pillow a direct threat and her FBI handler forces her to betray Dante, her two worlds violently collide. Exposed and hunted by both the mafia and her own agency, Elena and Dante are thrown together as fugitives. In their raw, desperate alliance, they uncover a truth more shattering than either imagined: Sofia’s death was a message in a secret war within the family, and the real killer is the last person Dante ever suspected. To get justice, Elena must help the man she was sent to destroy and wage a brutal war for the soul of his empire.

Kaiden Grey : She had an entire forest in her eyes, the type of forest I just want to hide deep inside. She was my eveything once, A best friend, a lover, a soulmate. But that all burnt down when she broke my trust and my heart, now whenever I look into those hazel eyes all I want is for her to burn down just the way I did, just the way she broke me into million pieces, I'm going to have fun doing the exact same to her. Saskia Cowen: He was my everything once. Someone who I could be myself without feeling embarrassed or ashamed. I believed he was my soulmate. One night. It took one night to destroy eveything we built, I destroyed his trust, the friendship and the bond we once cherished. Now all he wanta to do is see me fall and burn.

Meet Myra. She is a sweet and very kind person but can be sassy and badass when needs to be. She believes in the phrase lives and lets others live their life peacefully. The only thing she hates the most is being bullied and can do anything to stop weak people from getting bullied. But she is the girl of many secrets. People believe that they moved out from California to New York to move on from her mother's death but the truth was different. Now meet Anthony Walker, the football captain and the Qatar baller of the team. He has all the girls fall on their knees for him and all the boys envy him. He is the mystery of his school and likes to keep to himself and his friends. He is also the alpha of the pack and has his share of secrets. Read the book to know what happens when they meet.