Because This Is My First Life Novels & Stories

Because in a world where I can’t afford to let anyone in, this is the only way I know how to survive. Tomorrow, I’ll wake up early again. And the cycle will begin once more.

APRIL In my next life, I’d either come as a monarch’s favorite tea cup, or not come at all. All because this life was started to feel far too gloomy and devastating to live through. If my first life was this tedious, why would I consent to another one? No bloody way. Aren’t you being a little too dramatic? came my subconscious’s snarky interruption.

I will meet him again in his younger form, younger than the one I originally met in my first life. Fuck. Damn. Shit. I sputtered all the profanities I know as I anxiously thought of how our first meeting would go. Will he ignore me? Will he notice me? In our first life, he instantly noticed me and took a liking to annoy the hell out of me. It seemed to be his personal mission to make sure I would curse at him or throw a rock on his head. From the moment we first talked, he’s been an annoying, arrogant, self-centred bastard.

I trusted fate and committed suicide by eating banana pudding, to which I was allergic, but fate has now brought me into serious problems. I intended to end my life to get rid of Xavier, but fate dragged me back to him, and even though I was juggling between past and present, I had no one to turn to for answers. Xavier's question surprised me. "Is this your first experience?" I turned to look at him, perplexed. "What?" "Is this your first time in this world?" he clarified. I nodded, "Yes, but I keep returning for no apparent reason." Xavier's voice was soothing. "Not everything has to have a cause to happen."

He doesn't understand why she couldn't hear or see him, and seeing his body laying helplessly in bed is something he can't explain. "Can you hear or see me?" "Yes, I'm the god of death." I have been here since the first day it was in existence. "I take souls that are qualified to the world of death, where we persecute justice." He smiled, brightening the stormy look on his face. Does it mean that I’m dead?" He still cannot believe the fact that he is no more; there were quavers in his voice. Kate and Melissa right away because he needed to be with his family.

I know where I'm at when I open my eyes. Death is already waiting for me, a wary look in his eyes. "Oh good. You're back to normal." he says relieved, and I'm confused before I remembered that I tried to dance with him. "Yeah, I wanted to apologize for that. I think that had something to do with the fact that the wolf that bit me is addicted to Fae fruit." I explained, and Death nodded. "Yeah, I figured. Mason's lifeline is a mess. It's coming undone slowly but quickly. If I didn't know better, he's dead but that addiction is making his corpse walk around in the living." Death replied.

And for the first time in my adult life, normal feels perfect. Not boring. Not safe. Just real. Real family. Real job. Real life. Mine. Finally, completely mine.

And when the world comes back— It breathes. Not broken. Not whole. But alive. And for the first time since this began— That feels like enough.

I place a hand on my stomach. “Fresh start,” I whisper to the quiet room, while the fresh wind brushes through my ears. And I smile, to the tiny life inside me. It feels fragile, this new beginning I said. It feels terrifying. But for the first time in a very long time, it also feels like hope.

The car's engines roared to life, and in turn, so did my new life. My purpose. So why did this feel like the beginning of an end?