Best Dark Jokes Novels & Stories

I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to graduate top of my class, get into the best law firm, and make my brother proud. What I’m not here for? Sharing an apartment with Cade freaking West. My brother’s best friend. Tattooed, cocky, insufferable. A walking red flag on skates with a motorcycle named Roxie and a different girl in his bed every night. We don’t get along. We never have—especially not after what happened. He hates me for it. I don’t regret it. I was right. But the longer we’re forced to live under the same roof, the harder it gets to ignore the heat. The tension. The way he looks at me like he’s two seconds from ruining my entire life.

Ava Monroe is struggling to pay for her college fees. After a terrible loss in business when her family went bankrupt overnight, Ava saw all her dreams shatter right in front of her eyes. It doesn't help that her family is obsessed with becoming wealthy again. The shock of being poor had turned them into something Ava could no longer recognize. However, eager for some quick money, Ava works as an escort over the summer before college begins. The money is good, and she hasn't had any strange experiences yet. That has to be worth something, right? Brian Reinhold is rich, successful and soon turning forty. But his home is anything but happy. After losing his sixteen-year-old daughter in a car crash, Brian doesn’t know how to go on with life anymore. Nothing makes sense. Nothing makes him lively. His friends believe Brian needs a break. A long pause in his hectic life so he could grieve and make amends for the sadness that is dousing him from inside. But instead of packing his bags and moving to his hometown, Brian thrusts himself more into work and pretends that moving on is a choice, not binding. But life takes a toll when the next client on Ava’s list turns out to be Brian Reinhold. The dear daddy of Valerie. Ava’s best friend. Now, Ava doesn’t know why the idea of sleeping with a man double her age is electrifying. Brian Reinhold might be forty soon, but he looks anything but old. His arms are a thing of beauty and his charming grey eyes can suck you in so deep that reality gladly withers away. But this arrangement has cons of its own. And truth has the power to destroy the lives they both care for.

After I got a second shot at life, the very first thing I did was enroll in an intensive weight-loss boot camp. In my past life, my boyfriend was always on my case about my weight. He flat-out told me he wouldn't put a ring on it unless I got down to a hundred pounds. I tried every diet and workout plan out there—I pushed myself to the edge—but instead of losing, I packed on even more pounds. Meanwhile, my so-called best friend ate cheeseburgers, fries, and pizza like it was her job and still dropped from 130 pounds to a hundred in less than a month. The second she hit that magic number, my boyfriend's head turned. They started sneaking around behind my back. When I finally confronted them, they shoved me off a rooftop. It wasn't until after I died that I discovered the truth: my "best friend" had linked herself to a weight-transfer system. Every single pound I struggled to lose went straight to her. And every ounce of fat she should have gained? It landed right back on me. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the exact day my boyfriend gave me his hundred-pound ultimatum. With every memory of my past life intact, I couldn't help but smile. My best friend wants to be skinny, does she? Well then, let's see how she likes being nothing but skin and bones. Let's see if forty-five pounds is skinny enough for her.

"Spread your legs." I did, wide. He looked at my pussy, swollen and wet. "Look at you. Dripping for me." He knelt and licked me clean. His tongue was magic, flicking my clit, dipping inside. I grabbed his hair, grinding on his face. He sucked hard, making me moan loud. "Alexander... please fuck me." He stood up, smirking. "Since you asked nicely." He lined up and thrust in again. This time slower, teasing. In and out, deep. His hands roamed my body, squeezing my tits, pinching nipples. "You feel so good. Tight around my cock." Lush thought she understood desire until Alexander Voss looked at her like property. He is powerful, arrogant, and dangerously in control. A billionaire untouchable by law, by scandal, by consequence. He commands boardrooms the way he commands her body without apology. What starts as a secret affair becomes an addiction. But Alexander is still married. And his wife is not the type to lose quietly. When threats turn violent and his son steps into the game with jealousy burning in his eyes, Lush realizes she isn’t just sleeping with a powerful man. She is inside a war. And Alexander doesn’t share what he owns. Not even with blood. Desire turns darker. Power turns lethal. It will destroy them all.

Two years after the accident, my husband Derek can no longer touch me. His love hasn't changed. But his body has. He says he wants me happy. He just never said happy with someone else. Then his two best friends move in to help. Luca is all sharp suits and sharper smirks. He looks at me like I am already his. Eli is quiet, intense, his touch lingering a heartbeat too long. I swore to honor my vows. But Derek keeps pushing us together. A dinner meant for two becomes four. A goodnight kiss on my forehead from him. Last night, Luca caught me alone in the kitchen. His hand on my waist. His whisper against my ear. He asked if I was shaking from fear or want. I did not push him away. Now my husband has proposed the unthinkable. He wants me to share myself with them. He wants to watch. Three men under one roof. One forbidden wife. And I am terrified of how much I want to say yes. Shared by My Husband's Best Friends is a steamy first-person forbidden romance with a why choose ending. No cheating. My husband asked for it.

"No Chris… you can't fucking kiss me with the same lips that tasted Anna's. You can't… just leave Chris, please leave…” She screamed, her body shaking terribly. For Anna coming home meant summer nights by the lake, her mother's cooking, and slipping back into the life she left behind. Most of all, it meant Carly, her best friend, her constant, her home. And Chris, Carly's boyfriend. Who was clearly off limits or at least... he should have been. Because the moment Anna steps back into Millbrook, something feels wrong. The town is quieter. The air feels heavier. And Chris? He isn't the same boy she remembers. He's colder, stronger and dangerous in a way that makes her heart race and her instincts scream. Then come the dreams. Running through moonlit fields. A voice calling her name. A presence she can't escape... or resist and when the truth finally surfaces, it shatters everything Anna thought she knew. Chris isn't just her best friend's boyfriend. He's an Alpha and impossibly she was his mate. Torn between loyalty and a bond she can't break, Anna must decide, walk away and protect the only family she's ever known or surrender to the Alpha who was never meant to be hers. Because in a town full of secrets, some fates are more dangerous than others... and loving him might cost her everything.

~"Why is the best fruit always forbidden?"~ Alecander Blackford is that perfect Alpha blessed with the face of an angel but cursed with overbearing parents who would not stop tailing after his ass. After he runs away from the pack to stay at his aunt’s house, he did not expect that he would meet his mate who turned out to be more than he had expected and everything he was not. Soft, caring with a touch of defensive instincts, Elristeya Larsen is just that girl who has two parents that were in love since forever and a brother who would do anything to make her frustrated. When she meets her brother’s new best friend, it turned out to be the Asshole that had slammed the door in her face, Alec. She was undeniably captivated by his hypnotic orbs and the way he looked like everything a human was not. Like a different breed. Alec’s entire plan to stay away from her as far as he could begins to fall flat right before his own eyes. No matter how he tried to ignore her, like a moth to a flame he was attracted to her. When circumstances fell into place, they slowly began to get closer, creating more connection and strengthening the bond between them. Elristeya soon realized that Alec was no prince charming of hers but her beautiful downfall. Her perfect nemesis. Her flawless damnation. Theirs was the mate bond that was never supposed to be formed. Forbidden right from their births and when they try to fight against the fate that binds them, ugly and haunting secrets, capable of ruining them both and those they cherished, from the past are unleashed, threatening the soul bond they shared.

"Every person has their own unique desires, Lexie," he says, his voice low and seductive. "Some are easily satisfied, while others crave more... intense experiences."As he speaks, my mind races with possibilities, each one more exhilarating than the last."Tell me," I urge, my heart pounding in anticipation."Are you sure you want to know?" he teases, his eyes dancing with mischief. "It might be more than you bargained for.""But what if,” I start, locking my eyes with his. “What if I am the one who ends up being on the top?” And my smile becomes wicked.----Lexie meant only to visit her best friend to reorganize her life. It was a simple plan, until her old time crush Noland, her best friend’s dad, showed up. He has unique tastes, but will he be ready for what Lexie has to show him?Surrendering to my Best Friend’s Dad is created by Amelie Bergen, an eGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

As an entrepreneur, Ashley West has spent most of her time focusing on business, but she decided to take a break from work and go on a vacation to explore and have fun. What happens when she had a one night stand with a stranger who turned out to be her father's best friend and business partner.  Caught between loyalty to her father and a desire she can no longer deny, Ashley faces a dangerous game of forbidden attraction. As emotions flare and boundaries blur, she must decide. Will she follow her heart and risk losing her father's trust or give up on her feelings for peace to reign?

“There was a fucking earthquake. It caused an avalanche on the mountain. Didn’t you feel it, you lazy piece of shit?” I yell at Kaleb. “No, I didn’t. I was fucking sleeping. Quit bitching at me.” he says. He’s wearing nothing but grey sweats that hang low on his waist. God, how can someone so fucking hot be so fucking annoying? “We are stuck here. There’s at least 25 feet of snow blocking us in this cabin. Lily and your parents can’t get back either.” I tell him. “Thanks for the observation. If we can’t get out, they obviously can’t get in.” “Can you not be a snarky asshole for 2 minutes?! We are literally fucking stuck in this cabin together for god knows how long!” I yell at Kaleb. He’s so infuriating sometimes. “Relax. I’m sure we’ll probably be out in a few hours.” “Oh you’re sure, are you? Well, guess what dipshit? The guy on the radio said they’re focusing on the surrounding areas first and then they’ll be working on the mountain. That could take fucking days, Kaleb.” Kaleb takes a step closer to me. “Don’t talk to me like I’m fucking stupid, Riley.” “Oh yeah? What are you doing to do?” “If you don’t stop with this bratty attitude, I’m going to fuck it out of you.”