Best Your Mom Jokes

“Omega, in about an hour, you’ll feel warm, dizzy, and overcome with hormones in your body.” I paled. “What happens after it takes effect?” “Then an alpha in the surrounding area will react to your scent.” After an hour, the nurse popped her head in. She had a strange look in her eyes and I didn’t like it. “So he is out there?” The nurse’s smile fell, “No, not one.” My eyes widened. “two?” “No, you have four mates.” I shook my head. “No, that’s not possible!” She sighed and opened her phone. “Your mates are as follows; Colby Mcgrath, Rain Kim, Matthew Clark, and Jade Johnson.” When she said the first name I started to feel faint but then the nurse kept rattling off all the names of my tormenters for years. How could I be tied to all of my brother’s friends? My panties got wet, I refused to accept that this was a hormonal reaction.

Zenaida Cabrera, isang multimedia journalist mula isang kilalang news website sa bansa. Sa edad na dalawang pu't walo, hindi pa niya nararanasan magkaroon ng kasintahan dahil nakatuon lang ang kaniyang atensyon sa trabaho at pamilya. Sa takot na mapag-iwanan, sumubok siyang makipag-date ngunit palagi itong nauuwi sa wala dahil sa demanding na boss na walang ibang ginawa kung hindi ang subukin at pahirapan siya. Buong akala ni Zenaida ay hindi na niya mararanasan ang pagkakaroon ng sariling pamilya dahil sa mga responsibilidad na hawak niya, subalit isang araw, nalaman na lamang niya na siya'y nagdadalang tao na at kasamaang palad, hindi niya maalala at makilala kung sino ang ama ng bata sa sinapupunan niya.

“Say my name, baby. Tell me who this pus sy belongs to.” “Damian…” she moaned softly as I curled my fingers, hitting her just right. “Louder.” “DAMIAN!” Inside the bathroom, Henry let out a wrecked sob, as if her screaming my name had just carved his heart out all over again. Perfect. I pulled my fingers out, brought them to my mouth, and licked them clean while she watched over her shoulder, her eyes glazed. Then I dropped to my knees like a man ready to worship his god. Because yes, I would worship this pus sy like it was my god. **** After sacrificing her legs and her freedom to save a stranger, Cindy Hart becomes the crippled wife of a man who only loved her out of guilt. When he brings his ex into their home and throws Cindy aside, she decides she is done being the victim. With her billionaire identity hidden and her brother’s dangerously hot best friend pretending to be her lover, Cindy begins her revenge. But when the lines between fake and real blur with the playboy she once rejected, Cindy finds herself fighting not just for power but for a love she never saw coming.

Fancy has always been a nerd and a plus-sized girl who is despised by her peers and classmates, especially for how shapeless she is. She didn't pay much attention to how she looks until her crush broke her heart by referring to her as “hard work,” to her brother. Fancy becomes heartbroken and vows to work on herself. Years later, with persistence she becomes beautiful with the right curves. Not only that, her high school crush becomes fascinated by her. He is head over heels for her or at least she thought until the unimaginable happens. Her mother is accused of murder by her boyfriend, and it dawned on her that he approached her just for revenge. How can fancy handle such a mighty blow thrown at her? Her mother, a murderer and her loving boyfriend seeking revenge on her family?

In my past life, my mate Marcus ran off to the forest to make love with my best friend Scarlett, who was eight-month pregnant. That’s when they'd be surrounded by a pack of rogue wolves. Scarlett, heavy with child, started bleeding heavily. Both of them desperately called for the Border Guard. As the Chief Warrior, I had risked everything to fight those rogue wolves. But Scarlett still died along with her unborn pup. My mate Marcus led others to accuse me of using my position for personal revenge. He personally severed both my hands with a silver blade. "A warrior without morals like you deserves to burn in hell!" he snarled. But I remembered clearly—when I drove off the rogues and got the pack healer to Scarlett, she barely had a scratch on her. Finally, Scarlett's parents arrived. I begged them to examine her body and investigate the truth. Instead, they reported to Alpha that I had neglected my duties. They claimed I was high on wolfsbane while guarding the border. Alpha exiled me for fifteen years. With both hands severed, I had no way to fight or shift properly. I survived by begging scraps from neighboring territories. Fifteen years later, I returned to the pack. I saw my mate Marcus walked through the airport's first-class terminal with Scarlett and their son. They were using my inheritance to fund their luxury vacation to the Maldives. They spotted me. Without hesitation, they pushed me into a silver pit to destroy all evidence. When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day Scarlett faked her death. This time, I took one look at the scene and declared them beyond saving. I told my assistant to send them to bury them directly.

You saved a dying pup. It vanished. Now, rifling through your contract husband's drawer, you find the collar. "You stole my dog!" you hiss. "Sweetheart, that wasn't a dog." A growl rumbles in the dark. "It was an Alpha wolf — and you belong to him now."

"Don't deny it. You want it." Killian said to me, stroking the nape of my neck with his thumb. His face is so close to mine and I forgot to breathe. I gasped when he pushed my dress higher, revealing my thighs to him and let his hands rest between my thighs. I tilted my head to the side to avoid his lustful gaze, penetrating deep into my soul. "Your body craves it." He said, firing kisses down my neck till his lips touched my hard, naked nipples. That sent shivers down my spine. My body erupted with goosebumps and I exhaled sharply. I want to speak, but I can't. He has that much effect on me. His tongue played with my nipples and I mewled. That felt so good. "You want me as much as I want you." He whispered with his lips pressed on my skin. I shouldn't be doing this. I know I should stay away from this man but how can I when he invades my thoughts daily? When he's the only one my body wants. It's frustrating because no matter how hard I try, I can't say no to him. And I am this close to making the worst mistake of my life. I swallowed, trying to fathom the words out.His fingers brushed my core and I jerked forward, pressing my body on his. "I don't want you." "You're lying." He said, playing with the strap of my thong with a lazy finger. My eyes rolled back in my socket with pleasure. I am lying but he's making it so hard. "We shouldn't be doing this, Killian." Killian? Do I really have the right to call him that? "Give me one reason why and I won't touch you." "Because you're my best friend's Fiance."

Martyr na kung tawagin pero kayang gawin lahat ni Zhang para lang sa lalaking minamahal niya kahit na pilit siyang tinataboy nito. Hindi lingid sa kaalaman ni Zhang na takaw gulo si Zech, kaya hangga't maari ay gumagawa siya ng paraan para mapabuti ito at mabawasan ang pagiging suki nito sa Detention Office. Hanggang saan nga ba aabot ang pasensya at pagmamahal ni Zhang para kay Zech? Sapat na ba ito para manatili siya sa tabi ng nasabing lalaki kahit na makailang beses na siyang sinaktan at binalewala?

Liam Smith, an orphan, has had a dream for years; to become a star of the ever famous Lotus Pond Entertainment company. However, when he meets the famous and attractive CEO of the company, notorious playboy, Kain Jones, things take an unexpected turn. Kain is unfriendly, rude and even rejects Liam’s wishes of joining the company! Kain is not at all what Liam had expected his childhood star to be like at all! Disappointed, but not put off, Liam refuses to give up on his dreams of becoming a star and vows to do anything to get that chance, including doing whatever Kain demands of him, but just how far is Liam willing to go? "Your fervent, misguided sense of entitlement is stunning," Kain snarls at me. His nose twitches in indignation before a slow, cruel smirk crawls over his lips. He mouths the word 'anything', repeating what I had just said before leaning in and taking my chin into his fingers, brushing my lips with his thumb as he says in a low growl, "why don't you show me...”

When the yacht begins to sink, Penelope Griffith chooses me to fill the last vacant spot on the lifeboat. I'm saved, but Arthur Johnson drowns before the second lifeboat reaches him. He disappears into the ocean, leaving only a corpse behind. Penelope pretends not to care and still marries me. Yet, she proceeds to trample all over me during our five years of marriage, blaming me for Arthur's death. When I can't take it anymore and ask for a divorce, she chooses to end both our lives. The next time I open my eyes, I realize that I've been transported back in time to the day of the yacht accident. I decide to forfeit my chance of survival this time, letting the man Penelope loves the most take my place.