Birthday Jokes For Dad

As my murderer's claws tear into my abdomen inch by inch, my father and brother are seated in our family's banquet hall. They're celebrating Carly's 18th birthday and coming-of-age. "You'll always be my little girl." "Happy birthday, Carly." They light 18 pink candles for her. On top of the exquisite red velvet cake is a wolf figurine that they carved for her, and there are well wishes and laughter all around. Meanwhile, I'm curled up in a sewer filled with liquid silver as I bleed to death. My phone has been crushed, and I can't get out. I can only cry for help. A few days later, my father and brother show up together at the autopsy room. My brother stands by the operating table with a scalpel. He slices open the body and sews it back up like it's nothing. My father just covers his nose as he shoots a disgusted glance at my body. He urges my brother to hurry up with the autopsy report. "The victim is a young female wolf presumed to be of pure lineage. Before her death, she was subjected to prolonged captivity and torture. Her throat is nearly severed, her cervical spine is dislocated, and her chest cavity has collapsed. She was also injected with liquid silver before death." Hearing the report, my father looks so calm that it's just like a case study of no consequence. Neither of them can recognize that the body belongs to me—their daughter and sister!

When Dylan Sullivan took a new type of hallucinogen, I was forced to give myself to him to curb the effects. Innately fertile, I got pregnant, giving birth to fraternal twins—a boy and a girl—after marrying him. However, Dylan refused to let them call him daddy, drinking away the nights while staring at the picture of his one true love. Then, on our tenth anniversary, he locked us up in the basement and burnt us to death. As it turns out, he remained hung up on that moment when I saved him all this time, stubbornly convinced I intervened when he was vulnerable to satisfy my ambitions. That in turn drove a rift between himself and his one true love, whose heartbreak led to psychosis and the accident that killed her. But I somehow opened my eyes to find myself alive, returning to the day Dylan took the hallucinogen by mistake. This time, I let his one true love have him, while I headed towards the study…

After Rory was betrayed by her ex-boyfriend, in a moment of impulse and rebellion, she sought revenge through a one-night stand with a stranger, only to wake up and discover that the man was her best friend Needy's father. Caught in a mix of embarrassment and turmoil, she thought it was a one-night stand…, until he turned out to be her new professor. It was said that Scott never had second sex with the same girl. But he wanted Rory every night. Their forbidden relationship was full of danger and excitement, and then Rory’s mother arrived to set off yet another bomb.... Yearning for My Friend’s Dad is created by Amelie Bergen, an eGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

THOMPSON AMELIA,A single mom who is trying to live her life in peace and far away from trouble. After being ruined by a mafia gang at 16, vows to take revenge. A very slow and dangerous revenge. What happens when she meets Brown Noah, the CEO of brown company? What happens when she finds out that Brown Noah, the one her heart longs for is the one that ruined her?

All I wanted was a man for my mother, a man who will fill her, make her happy. But I made the worst mistake of my life by choosing it...

He’s a single dad with a leather vest and a whole world of secrets. She’s a second-grade teacher who’s about to break all the rules. Deacon "Grim" Miller, the Sergeant-at-Arms of the Ravens MC, has only ever lived by two codes: the one for his club and the one for his daughter, Lily. He’s a man built for battle, a survivor in a world of ruthless rivalries. But at home, he’s just a father trying to give his little girl a normal life… a life she can't have because of the trauma of his past. Amelia Vance is a woman who values order, routine, and safety above all else. When she notices Lily is struggling, she’s determined to help, but the last thing she expects is to meet the child's father… a man whose presence feels like a storm she should run from. Their two worlds should never collide. He’s a danger to her well-ordered life. She’s a threat to the secrets he guards. But when a fire drill triggers Lily's deep-seated trauma and a rival gang's patch shows up in the child's pocket, Deacon is left with a choice: push Amelia away or let her in, risking everything he holds dear. To save the child they both love, they'll have to face the truth and a danger that might tear them apart forever.

Di hari ulang tahunnya Clarisa Shen dibuat mabuk. Kakak perempuannya menggantikan dia masuk ke kamar tunangannya, dan tidur bersama, sedangkan dia ada dikamar sebelah bersama dengan lelaki yang tidak dikenal. 10 tahun kemudian Clarisa shen kembali, bersama dengan dua orang anak lelaki yang sangat tampan. Tak disangka saat mereka kembali, mereka bertemu dengan seorang pria yang sangat mirip dengan kedua putranya, dan siapa sangka pria itu adalah ayah kandung dari kedua putranya yang mana pria itu adalah seorang bos besar. Seorang penguasa yang tak dapat tersentuh oleh siapapun. Disaat kebahagiaan mulai menghampiri keluarga kecilnya, Clarisa Shen harus menelan kepahitan, putra sulungnya yaitu, Conan Shen di vonis menderita Kanker Otak.Akankah putra sulung Clarisa Shen sembuh dari penyakitnya?

I am so dead! He is sucking my blood!!! The feeling is driven me crazy...However, that was my very choice.

Ito ay isang perpektong plano. Hanggang sa ang pekeng narararamdaman niya ay nagsisimula ng maging totoo... The last thing on Tyler's mind is romance. Sa pagitan ng pagiging isang solong ama at pamamahala sa kanyang matagumpay na karera sa pagsusulat, mayroon siyang higit sa sapat sa kanyang plano. Ngunit nang magpasya ang kanyang ex na labanan siya para sa kustodiya ng kanilang anak, alam niyang kailangan niyang ipakita sa hukom na siya ay isang solidong tao sa pamilya. Ang kakailanganin niya ay isang pekeng kasintahan, Ngunit hindi niya alam kung saan siya makakahanap ng isang babaeng handang magpanggap bilang kanyang asawa sa lalong madaling panahon. Ang pagkumbinsi sa kanya na tumulong ay hindi isang problema. Hindi na niya pinapansin kung paano niya papakinggang ang napakabilis na tibok ng puso niya para rito. Ngayon ito na ay isang problema. Ang gusto lang ni Ellie Diaz ay isang trabaho sa pagtuturo sa prestihiyosong paaralan ng Lincoln Academy, ngunit ang pagkuha sa kanila na isaalang-alang ang kanyang aplikasyon ay isang hamon. Ang magtrabaho dito bilang isang guro ay matagal niya ng minimithi. Pagkatapos ay nalaman niyang may mga koneksyon si Tyler doon—at handa siyang gamitin ang mga ito kapalit ng isang maliit na maliit na pabor. Ang kailangan lang niyang gawin ay mula sa pagiging yaya ng kanyang anak hanggang sa pekeng kasintahan ni Tyler ...at kahit papaano ay magpanggap na hindi siya naaakit sa kanya. Kung magiging maayos ang lahat, mapapatunayan ni Tyler sa hukom na magdedesisyon sa kaso ng kustodiya ng kanyang anak na siya ay isang solidong tao sa isang pamilya, at makukuha naman ni Ellie ang kaniyang tiket sa pangarap niyang trabaho. Ano ang posibleng maging mali? Ano ang gagawin mo kapag ang linya sa pagitan ng reyalidad at pantasya ay lumabo?

เพราะรูปร่างหน้าตาเข้าขั้นสวยและน่ารักมาก จึงทำให้อิงเอยถูกเจ้านายและเพื่อนร่วมงานหัวงูกระลิ้มกระเหลี่ยเธอทั้งสายตาและการกระทำอยู่บ่อยๆ เป็นเหตุให้ต้องออกจากงานเป็นว่าเล่น จนตอนนี้สถานะทางการเงินเข้าขั้นวิกฤตสุดๆ! และ... ในระหว่างที่กำลังกระเสือกกระสนหางานอย่างเอาเป็นเอาตายอยู่นั้น เพื่อนของเธอก็ร่อนใบปลิวที่พาดหัวกระดาษว่า 'รับสมัครพี่เลี้ยงเด็ก' มาให้ งานสบายแถมเงินเดือนดี... แต่คุณสมบัติผู้สมัครกลับทะแม่งๆ ชอบกล ต้องหน้าตาดี สัดส่วนได้ กระทั่งหน้าสดก็ต้องสวย! นี่เห็นว่าไม่มีทางเลือกนักหรอกนะ เลยจะลองสมัครดู... *คำแนะนำก่อนอ่าน* เรื่องนี้เป็นหนุ่มฝรั่งสุดหล่อกับสาวเหนือสุดแสบ มีกามเทพเป็นเด็กน้อยไร้เดียงสา (?) แต่งจากจินตนาการและความเพ้อฝันของไรต์ ให้อ่านเพื่อความบันเทิงเท่านั้นนะคะ เหตุการณ์ สถานที่ และตัวละครในเรื่องไม่มีอยู่จริง! มีคำหยาบและพฤติกรรมที่ไม่เหมาะสมและฉาก NC โปรดใช้วิจารณญาณในการอ่าน