Cow Joke Novels & Stories

My deskmate, Sierra Langford, handed me a throat lozenge. I turned around and melted it into the school cafeteria’s "Top Scholar Soup", letting all four thousand students share a taste. Because this time, I’ve been reborn. In my previous life, Sierra had a system that could steal other people’s exam scores. As long as I ate something from her, my grades would automatically transfer to her. She was a rich girl, already set to study abroad. Stealing my college entrance exam score was just a joke to her. On the other hand, I was poor. The exam was my only chance to change my fate. After three mock exams, my scores kept dropping for no reason, and no matter how hard I searched, I couldn’t find out why. In the end, I failed the college entrance exam. Lost and broken, I was hit by a car. After I died, my soul hovered in the air and overheard Sierra laughing with her best friend, Hailey Monroe. "Who would’ve thought Vera Collins could’ve ranked first in the entire city? Well, that title’s mine now! Someone like her deserves to rot in the mud forever." This time, I’m back. So, she liked stealing people’s scores for fun? Then stealing just mine would be too boring. This time, the entire school’s exam scores would be a surprise for her.

She waited patiently just as a predator would its prey … very carefully. For so long, it seemed the chance would never come. It seemed her almighty prey would never stumble into a carefully woven trap but soon he did. *** Aurelia Isolde Draxmere. The Alpha King of the West, Alaric Leontius Valerian III, returned from battle severally wounded, he needed a caregiver. And I, the veiled one, the wolfless slave as I was called, was chosen to tend to him. But what they don’t know is that I carry a secret which was a sinister plan and that was … His downfall. I was ready to serve out my bloody revenge plan, determined to ruin him… Until… The Moon Goddess played her cruel and homourless joke … He is my fated mate. Yet, Fated or not, THE ALPHA KING IS GOING DOWN. *** Alpha King Alaric Leontius Valerian III I have heard and seen the pull, the fire and the impossible bond of fated mates … deep down I long for it but such were never meant for me. The ways I knew were that of war and blood… good things, they say are never meant for the wicked… Until I opened my eyes and met a storm … Grey orbs, sharp and fierce yet impossibly soft, pierced through me and soothed me at at the same time. I don’t know what this thundering feeling inside my chest is, but I can’t stop staring into those beautiful, mesmerizing eyes even if it would wreck me, soul, spirit and body.

My mate, Kane Blackwood, was the most feared Alpha in the Northlands. For three years, he treated me like something that belonged to him. He would drag me into his arms on the stone steps after moon rituals, pin me against the wall in Blackthorn Keep’s long corridors, and bite the mark on the back of my neck beside the patrol trails in the border woods, as if he needed everyone to remember exactly whose Luna I was. I used to think that was his way of loving me. Rough. Possessive. Lacking tenderness. But love, all the same. Until one night, I stopped outside the council hall and heard an elder say in a furious voice, “Those charcoal sketches on the black market were released by your people, weren’t they? Every one of them is of you and Elena in bed. She has become a joke across the pack. Do you even understand what you’ve done?” There was a brief silence. Then Kane said, coldly, “She is the Luna the council chose for me. She is not the woman I wanted.” I stood frozen outside the door. All those years, I thought his roughness meant he loved me too fiercely to be gentle. But it was never love. It was humiliation. Punishment for taking the place of the woman he actually wanted. I lowered my eyes to the moonstone bracelet on my wrist, the one he had clasped there the day our mating contract was sealed. If that was all I had ever been to him, then I would leave.

The marking ceremony had reached the moment when the Luna crown should be exchanged, but my mate in name only still refused to lower his head. Once Drake Blackwood bit the side of my neck and completed the marking, our 66th ceremony would finally become real. Yet his eyes stayed fixed on his phone, and he did not even look at me. All because his widowed sister-in-law, Scarlett Moore, had posted a claim-release statement an hour earlier. Her late husband had been Drake’s older brother. Under pack law, Drake was obligated to protect her. Attached to her post was a ticket for a private pack flight, showing that she would land in an hour. Drake suddenly rose and announced in a low voice to the elders and pack members that the marking ceremony would be postponed. Then he left me standing there alone, turning me into a joke before the entire pack. I calmly packed away the Luna crown, calmly apologized to the guests, and calmly saw everyone off. After that, I opened Scarlett’s latest post on the MoonNet feed. In the photo, Drake stood beside her, holding out a newly hunted moonstone. I gave a bitter smile and called my birth parents through the private pack link. “Father, Mother, I’m willing to come back now.” “I’ll accept the marriage alliance for the Frostvale Pack.”

"I, Alpha Kai Xander of Blue Crest pack, denounce you, Ariel as my mate," My world came crumbling down my feet as I stare at the man I have spent these recent years of my life, worshipping and loving like he was my god. The man that gave me nothing, but assurance that we will eventually end up together as mates. Was I a joke to him? Did he say all those words to me to get in between my legs? "What are you saying, alpha?" I need someone to wake me up from this nightmare which I so much not want to be reality. "What about the promises you made to me? You told me you would be with me forever. You told me you loved me..." "This is your fate, Ariel. Promises are made to be broken, and you have no right to question my decision. You are nothing, but a stranger that knows nothing about her origin. What were you expecting? Take you as my mate and spend the rest of my life being insulted by people? Never!" As if those words means nothing, as if it won't hurt me, he spills them out, while I stand here staring at him with my mouth agape. Now, that's it. Promises are made to be broken, but I never imagined he'd break his to me. Where do I start from?

Born as an Omega, Riley was treated with little respect by the pack and worked like a slave to survive. Like a joke made by the Moon Goddess, she was fated to be the mate of the young Alpha, thereby becoming the pack’s Luna. Riley has been the perfect Luna for the Green Creek Pack, dedicating herself wholeheartedly to everyone’s well-being. Everyone except herself. Jude promised to love her as if they were fated mates, because he understood her, appreciated her, and cherished her. However, after a few years of separation, Jude returned with another woman, Ruth, claiming she was his fated mate. He insisted that Ruth wouldn’t affect their relationship, but that was the beginning of Riley’s nightmare. Though she had been fated to be his mate, Jude never considered Riley a proper Luna for the pack, or accepted her as his mate. He used her, exploited her, and gave her the false hope of a better life. What awaited her was a shattered heart and twisted truths to be silenced till the day she died. An evil trap closed in on her like a wild beast, ready to devour her alive. Heartbroken and torn, how will she escape the claws of these shameless people and rise from the ashes like a phoenix? How will she make them regret losing her and ensure they face the consequences they deserve? Will it eventually be her betraying husband who redeems himself and wins her back, or will she find another man who truly deserves her trust and love?

During an ambush, I risked everything to save Matthew, but in doing so, I lost the ability to stand—my legs were permanently damaged. Matthew was devastated. Holding me close, he swore he would love me forever and never betray me. Overwhelmed with emotion, I agreed to marry him. In secret, I sought medical treatment, and after a long, gruelling journey, the day finally came when the doctor told me I could walk again. Overjoyed, I rushed home, eager to share the incredible news with him. However, the moment I pushed open the door, my world collapsed. Matthew was fooling around with his female assistant—right there in our home. On our bed. Wrapped in each other's arms, they kissed passionately, completely lost in the moment. As things heated up, the woman gazed at him and murmured, "Matt, why don't you just leave that cripple? She can't satisfy you at all." "Don't you love the thrill of sneaking around? It wouldn't be nearly as exciting if I left her." A wave of icy rage surged through me. So that was what our marriage meant to him—nothing more than a twisted game, a joke between him and his mistress. Drained and heartbroken, I turned and walked out. That night, I booked a flight back to my hometown. I was done with this city. Let Matthew live with his regret.

I had been Silas Sterling's mate for seven years. We decided to get tattoos of each other's names. This was a Binding Tattoo that represented eternal love in the Moonstone Wolf pack. It had the power to bind mates eternally. When I got the tattoo, I realized the malicious words 'Public Male Amenity' had been tattooed on my chest. It chilled me to the bone. My adopted sister, Greta Pound, was the one who tattooed me. She covered her mouth as she laughed. "Don't you always enjoy attracting the attention of all the male werewolves by dressing so skimpily in the pack, Freya? I'm just helping you to publicize this." Greta was a female werewolf I had saved. Why was she treating me this way when I treated her like my sister? I grabbed her hair angrily, but Silas pushed me violently to the side as he pulled Greta protectively into his arms. He frowned as he berated me unhappily, "Greta was just joking with you. Why are you so mad about it?" I stared at his bare chest where my name should be tattooed. However, the name 'Greta' was there instead. She looked up at me from Silas' arms and smiled innocently yet tauntingly at me. "Silas said our names rhymed, Freya, so I played a joke by tattooing my name on him. You aren't mad about this, are you?"

On New Year’s Eve, a poolside party was held at the hospital. There, my fiancee Valerie Charlton’s medical prodigy junior colleague, Cyrus Zeigler, drew the wildcard in a party game. His task was to select a woman from the attendees and enact an explicit scene in front of everyone. He scanned the crowd, and his gaze landed on Valerie. “Valerie, you’re about to get married. I know I can’t have you. So let me have this one time. Okay?” Valerie’s eyes welled up, and she was about to nod. I scoffed and tossed the unsigned medical equipment purchase contract onto the table. “You’d better think carefully. Either he gets lost, or your family’s hospital shuts down for good. Your choice.” Cyrus glared at me angrily when he saw that Valerie was torn with indecision. “Is it that Mr. Everest can’t take a joke? He’s already controlling everything you do before the wedding. After you get married, he’ll probably keep you in a cage.” Valerie calmed down. Then, she turned to me and said scornfully, “You are a grown man. Have some grace. What era are we living in? Do you have to flaunt your masculinity all the time?” I watched calmly as they walked toward the pool. Then, I turned and made a phone call. “Since she doesn’t care about this marriage, she can watch the Charlton family crumble.”

A year after Easton Carter turns down my 99th proposal, he calls me in the middle of the night, crying like his world's falling apart. He says his grandmother is dying and her last wish is to see him married. He tells me he's finally ready. He's already ordered the dress and booked the venue. But when I show up at the venue in my wedding dress, his friends burst out laughing. "You actually believed that? And you even swapped the cheap dress he ordered for a custom-made one? You're the queen of pathetic!" Then one of them yells, "Look, the groom's side piece showed up to crash the wedding!" "Security, come get this homewrecker!" Guests turn to stare like they're watching a joke unfold. Easton doesn't even look at me. He turns to the woman he loves and says, "I told you I'd ruin this wedding for you. I meant it. If you can't have him, no one will!" She gives him a satisfactory smile. Then, he finally glances at me. "Tina said you did her a favor today. When we get married, you can be the bridesmaid, and you can still spend time with us after that." So, he brought me here just to help his sweetheart ruin her crush's wedding. But when Easton finally looks up at the wedding banner and realizes that I'm the bride, his eyes flare with rage.