Crazy Hilarious Quotes Funny Novels & Stories

Sample: ' “Motherfucking dog is what he is , damn it” she chugged her drink down . She pointed her unsteady hand at her two best friends who were watching the show unfold . “ All men are the same . HEARTLESS CHEATING BASTARDS . Do you hear me? Heartless cheating bastards ” Casey screamed at the men sitting on a nearby table. “Yes, that's what you all are . Cheaters . Bloodsucking vampires, you use women like chewing gum and spit them out after you use them”. She placed her glass with a loud bang , almost falling off the table. She joined her hands while looking up at the ceiling, blinking . “If someone up there is listening, I wish all these men would suffer from crabs so bad , they would scratch it so hard that their dicks will fall off ”. She looked down and pointed a finger at them. “This is my curse on your species ”. She turned back to her friends leaving behind a group of mortified men with wide eyes who were left there holding their junks in fear . ' Casey has always been a hopeless romantic, searching for the one person who will finally return her love. Owen, on the surface, has it all—wealth, fame, and an endless stream of admirers. Yet despite his many conquests, he shuns commitment, refusing to be tied to anyone. When a scandal threatens his reputation, Owen concocts a plan: a fake engagement to Casey, In return, he promises to help her win a man. It soon grows complicated.Owen finds himself unexpectedly drawn to Casey but just when love seems within reach, Owen's past returns—his ex, stirring old emotions and doubts. What happened next read in my book ‘Mr Wrong'

Em: I've had dreams upon dreams and then they started to seep into reality. What was once a normal life has now turned upside down. The question that keeps flitting through my mind, is he my savior because I sure as hell don't need someone to save me or is he going to destroy me... If he wants to play this twisted game, let him. Let's show how twisted I can be. Cole: It's as if she sees right through me, I try to lead her away from me. I'm too dangerous and unstable for her but she makes me feel shit. I lied to her about who I am. Where I am from and what I can do. Even as I try to stay away she keeps pulling me in, like siren waiting to destroy.

In the is novel you will see how the ultimate betrayal of the ones closest to you can either shape your existence or break your spirit and self resolve.

The Falcon Ridge Series Book 3 Six months after the Battle for Black Lake Luke Jackson: Having been with the unit for six years and after the mess in Black Lake, I'm tired. I need to retire. Go home to Red Rock. I haven't been back there since I joined. But my dad tells me the crime there is getting bad and he needs my help with a biker gang called The Lycans. After staying home for six months and seeing nothing being done, I decide I'm headed to California. I don't want my pack. Before I leave, I have one last party. By the time I head home, I'm so drunk I can't see straight. When I see a guy getting beat up, I try to be a hero, but it only ends with me getting beat too. The only thing I remember is a pair of gorgeous green eyes. Alexi Torrent: I am the daughter of the notorious Draco Torrent. Alpha of the Dragons. After my father was murdered and my home destroyed by the Alliance, I vow revenge. I have a plan to enact my vengence on the woman who killed my father. I need resources so I join with The Lycans. I was just about to get what I needed from a contact when the drunk Alpha stumbled upon me. He called me out and my contact ran away. I was angry. I was going to make him pay. That was until I saw his hazel eyes. He may have been a drunk fool, but there was something different about him. So I spare his life. It turns out to be a big mistake for my plans.

Nina Facelo is your average type of girl. Hindi maganda at hindi rin naman pangit, simple lang sya kung baga. Mahilig magbasa, manood ng Rom-Com movies, mahilig magbake, kumain, and a k-pop fan with strange hobbies. Kahit na palagi syang natatawag na weirdo, loner, at nerd ay wala siyang paki-alam. She have the best sets of friend, kahit dalawa lang ito. But an accident happened, habang naglalakad sya papunta sa isang bookstore, upang bumili ng libro na palaging bukambibig ng kanyang kaibigan. It's was tittled with Illuminating Darkness. A Romance-Fantasy novel. An unexpected faith occurred she was about to go home, she saw an old woman who's in trouble. The old woman was being harassed by thieves! Pilit nitong hinihila ang hand bag ng matanda, and when she saw this, ay nagpakabayani ito at ipinagtanggol ang matanda without knowing the consequences. And right before her eyes, she was stab! It happen so fast, that in a blink of an eye. She was clutching her stomach, watching the blood flowing from her tummy,like a fountain. Akala nya mamamatay na sya. But suddenly, she woke up in a different body. The body of Lady Marina, daughter of the powerhouse Edwards. What in the world just happen?!

Willa has been running for as long as she could remember along side her twin brother, West and her mother. Their Mother has always told them that a someone is after them. Life was difficult since their mother trained them to be ready for anything, even her death. Two years after their mom died, the twins luck has finally run out and they are captured but they are shocked to discover that it's their own father and brothers they've been running from. Now reunited, will the twins finally find happiness and family or will they end up being destroyed by their family's dark secret? With everyone hiding secrets, what is the truth? What is safe? The twins have only ever believed in their motto, Chaos not cash, maim not murder and each other. Can they trust anyone else and more importantly, should they?

The Falcon Ridge Series Book 1 Anna Riker: I have no patience for the military Security unit. I have a giant chip on my shoulder and it didn't help when one soldier almost gets himself killed and I have to save him. There's something about this soldier that gets under my skin. I don't want to find out, but the closer I get, the more I can't help myself. River Blake: I'm next in line to take over my pack. I joined the security unit over a year ago to appease my father. When he says I need my fated mate to get my title, yeah I'm angry. Until I see a woman, dressed in leather. She says our future together could never be, but I'll do everything i can to prove to her that she's for me and I'm for her. Michael Dorian: I know Im being used. I didn't mind at first, but now things have changed. When she meets some soldier, a rage boils in my gut. Like a powder keg ready to explode. I have to prove to Anna she's for me and only me. And I will. Even if I have commit treason and murder to do it.

When Axel and Ellen’s mother, the Great white witch, dies giving birth to werewolf children, they are given up for adoption. Not knowing who they really are. Axel was raised by humans and had to navigate being a wolf with no one to turn to, but his best friend. Lucy is also a wolf raised by human parents. Axels younger sister shows up, revealing his family history. Everything Axel thought he knew about himself is tossed into a tornado of chaos as he tries to be the man he was raised to be while also embracing who he really is. Another witch adopted Ellen Axel's twin sister. She thought she had no wolf, but her mother trapped her wolf to protect her from her cruel grandfather, who would have her killed for being a female firstborn and a half-breed, and he called them. They must battle their genetic history while embracing their destiny and trying to let their mates love them.

At first the marriage was fine. Everything became warm, the wounds from Ainayya Hikari Salvina's past gradually began to heal. But the warm marriage was suddenly hit by a wave. Breaking a trust and making him leave the house that has taught the meaning of a harmonious family. Then can Albara Demian Dominic, the perpetrator of the destruction, repair the household that has made him heal from events in the past? Can Albara heal the wound he gave his wife? Let's see how Albara travels in pursuit of his wife's love back.

His Blind Wolf Blurb: Having a warrior like himself as a mate, have always been his only wish to the moon goddess, but his life took another turn, as his mate turned out to be an omega, a weak one. Meet Alpha Ryder of red moon pack, the most feared werewolf in the whole of their race. After Alpha Ryder found out that his mate was Hazel, a young beautiful omega. He rejected her and not only that, but turned her into his slave. He didn't cease to making her life miserable, but what happens when Hazel found out his deepest secret? What happens when she starts using his flaws against him, which he had kept a secret for long? What could be his flaws?...