Sarah Killian Serial Killer (For Hire)
she asks, pouring herself another glass of wine.
“Oh, no . . . I can’t,” I say, feeling the buzz of alcohol disappearing faster than an ant on a gas lit stove burner.
“Go on, I told you mine. Tell me yours.”
“Oh, all right,” I sigh. “My first just so happened to also be my first boyfriend, Ted. The douche was a typical seventeen year-old horny fuck-rag male, who got fed up with my not being ready to do all the things seventeen year-old horny fuck-rag males want to do, and so he tried to force himself on me. He didn’t succeed. I like to imagine after I flushed his penis down the toilet it was eaten by one of those mythological alligators in the sewer. The rest of his body I cut up and left in
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