Dad Joke Examples

“Kayleigh, you will either take your pants off, or I’ll do it!” Alexander Hearst warned her. If her thighs were not swelling and in pain, this could probably lead to something else because the way he said it turned her on. “Then do it.” She could not take her joke back because he had already opened the button and pulled down the zipper of her pants. Carefully, he took her pants off, and she could hear him gasp as he carefully touched the red skin. He jolted when she yelped in pain. “What’s this, Kayleigh?” His voice was low and angry. She wished to tell him she was lucky her father did not hang her on the wall to punish her for getting married without telling them. It was an accidental marriage, only for convenience, but who would have thought she would be married to the stranger she met at the elevator, the gorgeous, sexually attractive, and the luscious man she had ever met.

Dr. Ivy Smythe left Heath Allan the day before they graduated from university after they'd fought long and hard about her having an affair. He wouldn't accept her word over the stories he'd been told and the photographic evidence. Heath didn't believe she would leave and was stunned when she disappeared. Now, eight years later, he finds her working in the museum, where he's the new CFO, and she's got a little boy who looks like him. She's also walking with a cane and giving him the cold shoulder. His family's money and influence originally created this mess when his mother set her sights on him marrying another woman. Back then, he did what his parents wanted and married Monica. After the wedding, he discovered Ivy wasn't the gold digger, as his mother and Monica portrayed her. Monica was. Now Monica is fighting the divorce, and Ivy won't admit Geoffrey is his son. Does he have any hope of fixing this? He wants to be his son's father and make things right with Ivy. Will she take him back? He knows Monica won't slip away into the shadows peacefully. He's sure Monica will attempt to manipulate things again to push Ivy out of Heath's life. Read on to find out what Ivy will do when the Cat Fight for the Billionaire Daddy goes for a second round. Will she forgive him for the sake of their son? Does she still love him? What would she do with Monica if she could have her revenge on her?

( ADULT CONTENT ) His lips crashed down on mine in a hungry kiss, and I found myself pulling him closer to me. By now his hot body was firmly close to me and I swear i could feel his hardness damm he was huge. ---------------- Sierra Lane was out for a fresh start. After finding her fiance in bed with a close friend she moved out of the city, promising herself she was going on a break from men. She'd endured one too many heartbreaks and she was finally done. Or so she thought. Her plans blurred in no time. The last person she could possibly be with turned out to be the one she wanted the most. He was way out of her league. Apart from being a billionaire CEO and single dad, he was also her boss. She would have been content hiding in the shadows and denying her attraction to him. If he hadn't made it his mission to have her. ** Jayden Grey could not remember the last time he'd felt the burning desire to be with a woman. Until her. He wasn't sure why he wanted her so much that everything else came second. He figured it could be the fact that his son seemed to have formed a special bond with her. Or maybe it was because she had showed up in his life at a point in his life where he needed her the most. Or it was the fact that just the thought of her made him hard. He wanted her. Badly. And even though she was determined to resist him, he was even more determined to have her. Mind, body and soul. He loved a good chase after all. It was only a matter of time before he had her exactly as he wanted.

Addison’s heart was trampled over by her cold hearted father and her step-mother. Now years later, she has found the man of her dreams, or so she thought as Addison finds herself heartbroken at the discovery of her boyfriend in bed with her step sister. Not wanting to be the bitter ex, Addison tries to forget her pains by drinking away at a club one Friday night where she falls into a handsome stranger’s arms. Was this her chance at happiness? Addison soon finds out who the stranger actually is and just when she thought falling for her ex shattered her heart completely.... will falling for his daddy fix it? And will it be wrong to move on with her ex’s divorcée father... —

One last assignment then I can finally find my mate. I have no idea why this alpha is so important but the committee has granted him with the best security in existence, me. I’m not your average wolf, in fact, my kind are often beaten and belittled, but by some divine intervention I had been raised from a lowly omega pup to the ultimate weapon and protection for the werewolf world. I protect the future, the strongest and only the most important of the wolves. I am the Alpha’s Guardian. Of course on the day I am to receive a Guardian the rogues find a hole in our defenses. We have been spread thin and even though Guardians are reserved for the highest of Alphas I am being bequeathed one. What would normally be an honor feels like a slap in the face when she shows up, this woman who claims she was sent to protect me. Female warriors are heard of sure, but a female guardian? This must be a joke and I refuse to be laughed at.

Charlotte never imagined that her supposed best day of life would become the worst nightmare when she was about to tell her husband, Sebestian Blackwood about her pregnancy. She caught him with his rumored mistress and best friend in an intimate position. Her wounded heart and hopes shattered into million pieces but she didn’t expect him to throw divorce papers on her face when she thought they could be together again. He accused her of cheating and demanded a divorce. Wasn’t he the one who was cheating behind her back? “Sign these papers and get the hell out of my life for heaven’s sake. I was a fool to fall in love with a woman like you, Charlotte.” He spoke with so much venom. Her heart squeezed seeing pure hatred in his eyes which used to be filled with immense love. “Is it a joke, right?” She asked him and hoped this nightmare would be over. “You made a joke of my reputation, Charlotte. Now save our time and free us from this web of deception you call a marriage.” He broke her hopes again with his harsh words and handed her the divorce papers.

Astrid lives alone with her dad; she has no idea she is a werewolf or that they even exist! It turns out the man that helped raise Astrid isn't her father at all, he tells her that her mother wanted her to have a "normal" life until the day she turned eighteen when she would have no choice but to tell Astrid the truth about her identity. After a tragedy that killed her mother, her father turns abusive towards her over the years for her mother's death. Astrid remained completely unaware of her heritage until a man named Ryker comes into her life claiming they are mates!

As she drowns in sinful pleasure in the arms of Matthew the man he chose to serve as the unsuspecting Baby Daddy, Lola keeps convincing herself that she doesn’t need a man to complete her, she is doing this just for one thing, to get pregnant, and then she will never see him again. So she thought! To her surprise, the man she's been seeing apparently is her best friend Katie's, childhood sweetheart and has come back to town for good. Matthew want's to pursue her but Katie is going all out to win him back, Trouble is brewing in the horizon, her baby plan looks like it is coming to a halt, And biggest trouble is,She is falling in love!! Love, Friendship and future dreams all at steak. If she doesn’t move her pieces right it is gonna be a check mate for her and lose it all! She will definitely grow old, sad and alone!!!

I fumbled with the lock, my pulse hammering. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t want this. "Alaric," I breathed, but his name barely made it past my lips before his hands were on me—hot, demanding, unstoppable. "Tell me to stop," he murmured against my throat, his fingers sliding beneath my dress. "Tell me you don’t want this." I opened my mouth—to argue, to push him away—but all that came out was a soft, shuddering gasp as he found the one place that betrayed me. His dark chuckle sent a shiver down my spine. "That’s what I thought." __ Betrayed and humiliated at the altar. Isla never planned to ruin herself in the arms of another man. But heartbreak led her straight into the grasp of Alaric Voss—powerful, ruthless, and twice her age. One night. No names. No future. Or so she thought. Because when the sun rose, Isla came face-to-face with her new boss—the same man who had just claimed her in every sinful way possible. Now, resisting him is impossible. He’s everywhere—watching, teasing, owning her with every smirk, every touch. She swore it was a mistake. He swears it’s just the beginning. And the more she fights him, the more she realizes the truth: She was his from the moment he laid eyes on her. And Alaric Voss doesn’t let what’s his slip away.

Blurb It all began with a passionate kiss, A forbidden kiss, A kiss that had lead to more than they both bargained for, A kiss that sealed their fate together forever, A kiss of a playboy. Keith Brown attends her best friend's older brother's wedding but never did she expect the billionaire playboy to stop his wedding because of the three-year-old boy she was carrying in her hands or was it for an entirely different reason? Fall in love and ride along in this masterpiece MY BILLIONAIRE BABY DADY