Dark Humor Stories Novels & Stories

I asked, "So, Miss. How is it going with the Dark humour guy? Any update so far?" "HA! Dark humour! He's the funniest guy, I've ever met. Didn't you hear that line of him? I mean he called himself motherfucker; oh my, that's the kind of humour I love. Every time he cracks a joke, it makes me head over heels for him. And not forget his awkwardness around girls" the sarcasm was dripping from her mouth. But that changed my mood. And we both started chuckling, "He's not that bad!" I exclaimed. Right? He's not that bad.

I murmur smugly, smiling as we eat, sparing him the occasional glance only to find him already eyeballing me. Somehow, this small, simple interaction makes me feel ... important, like this is a step forwards in whatever dysfunctional relationship we have. "No! Are you serious?" I gasp, gobsmacked. Hardin nods, his neck flushing faintly with embarrassment. I found it hilarious, his raw humiliation as he tells me the one time that he literally shit himself. I'd be embarrassed to even tell the story, but I have to admit it is amusing. "Sick fuck, put laxative in my birthday cake." Hardin grumbles.

Hey Nate, Did you do a weird thing? Let's see. You read comments on an online support group, saw one that caught your interest, couldn't suppress the urge to talk to the girl that wrote said comment, sent her the oddest email she's ever read, and then decided to forget that he ever sent the email in the first place. Is that weird? I'll leave you to answer that for yourself. And yes, I do have a sense of humor. Usually the dark kind, but it's still humor nonetheless, isn't it? But nowadays, very few things make me laugh. So,I don't know what to make of it. Does that still count as having a good sense of humor?

They’ve even fallen to a routine, which is singing, storytelling and laughing, eating, light drinking, repeat. And it doesn’t come as a surprise that Logan shares plenty of his anecdotes. He thinks that he doesn’t sound stupid in at least one of them. But hey, he doesn’t have to know that until the right time comes. “I have a sensitive soul, you know,” he laments jokingly. “When you say it like that, I become deaf to any good parts of your story,” Megan retorts and almost instantly, everyone falls into howls of laughter.

Okay, this shit got to stop, maybe I should try a joke or something? “Hello triple Ds” I say chuckling awkwardly and they just stand there not knowing what to say. “you know, because the names of the three of you starts with a D” I explain my bad joke. “Yah we got it” Dylan says with a fake chuckle, okay, maybe that joke can still be saved. “I’m a double D myself” I say laughing liking my own joke and all their eyes instantly go to my breasts. I choke in my laughter when Derek lets out an angry growl and I sink further inside my hoodie while Dylan starts counting the specks of dust on the floor and Dean find the light fixtures very interesting all of a sudden.

They listened to every word he said, hanging on to his every joke and funny anecdote. As the laughter died down, Vince decided to share one of his infamous blind date experiences. With a dramatic shake of his head, he began, “Trust me, after that date, I swore I'd never go on one again. It was like a scene out of a disaster movie. Picture this: awkward silences, spilled drinks, and me realizing halfway through the night that we had absolutely nothing in common. Never again, I swear!” The girls laughed even harder, picturing the cringeworthy scenario in their minds. Vince was a natural storyteller, and his self-deprecating humor made him all the more likable.

I laughed out loud at my sarcasm; I had that problem, I was one of those people that thought they were too funny and no one could top their humor. “What’s with you? Firstly you started crying out of the blue, and now you’re laughing on your own,” Yu Ri was amused. “Nothing, I was laughing at what you said,” I smiled. Lies! I was laughing at what I said!

He told stories. Good ones, the kind that had been refined through repetition into their best version — funny and specific, the details exactly right, the kind of story that made you feel you had been in the room when it happened. My mother laughed. Dominic made the compressed thing, the almost-smile, more than once. I laughed too. Genuinely. The unmanaged kind, the laugh that arrived before you’d decided to have it. Marcus noticed.

The chill drenched into my bones, and I shivered. Zack stood at the entrance, his smile sardonic. He clapped his hands, and the maids got the message. They grabbed the snow off the ground and made snowballs. Then they hurled the snowballs at us. The snowballs exploded the moment they came in contact with our skin. The chill seeped in worse than ever. This was humiliating. It almost felt like I was a toy. I struggled and thrashed around. "Stop! They're Wendy's parents!"

A message bubble lit up under his name, cheerful and oblivious. Just another one of his dry, stupid jokes—something about his dinner being so terrible he was convinced the restaurant was trying to assassinate him with undercooked chicken. He'd probably attached one of those ridiculous GIFs he was always finding, something animated and silly that was meant to make me laugh.