dirty joke of the week

While I was nine months pregnant, the apple of my husband’s eye moved into our house. Whenever she saw me, she would make a sad face. My husband was sure that I was flaunting my pregnancy to make her angry. “Rachel is frail, and she can’t get pregnant, yet you’re walking around making her upset?! Do I seriously have to teach you a lesson?!” He ordered the bodyguards to lock me in the attic that had not been in use for a long time and told them not to give me food. I pleaded for mercy and told him that the ultrasound scan showed that the twin babies were too big. I told him that the doctor had claimed that I had to be hospitalized while I waited for my delivery. But he laughed as if he had heard the world’s greatest joke. When he spoke, his voice was as cold as ice. “You’re still three days away from your delivery date! Enough with the pitiful act! Repent while you’re in the attic! This is what you get for making Rachel upset!” The contractions hurt so much that I clenched my fists to the point that my nails broke, but no one unlocked the door to the attic. My piercing screams echoed in the attic for a long time until my whole body was soaked in blood, and one of my babies was stuck between my bloody legs. Three days later, my husband ate his breakfast that was not up to his taste and said, “Have Jane make breakfast for me, then have her apologize to Rachel with a gift. If she’s sincere enough, I’ll send her to the hospital to deliver the babies.” But no one dared go up to the attic because the blood that flowed down from it had already reached the second step of the stairs.

My parents take me to court to get my heart and save my adoptive sister. The judge uses advanced technology to extract our memories. A jury of 100 people decides the verdict. If my parents win the case, my organs will go to them. They think I won't dare to show up for the trial because they think I'm evil. However, everyone is overcome by tears when they see my memories and the truth of what happened!

"Watch and learn. On how the person you called a pathetic commoner would be the one to bring you to your knees." - Augustus Fordman. *** In a world that shunned him, August Fordman was the perpetual outcast. From being labeled as the "pathetic commoner" to the heartbreak of Samantha betraying him, followed by a reputation-shattering scheme, he reached rock bottom. But this was the last time everyone could cast stones at him. Rising from the ashes, he reclaims his true heritage as the heir to the highest-ranking family. Now armed with immense power and wealth, he vowed a promise to himself: They'll soon taste the torment he once endured. He will return the same pain everyone made him feel!

Despite being married for three years, Grace Lewis doesn't even get to hold hands with Benjamin Hawkins, let alone bear a child for him.After surviving a plane crash, Grace finds herself in the hospital, where she sees Benjamin accompanying another woman for a prenatal checkup. This makes Grace realize Benjamin's never had space in his heart for her.As soon as she ends the relationship, Grace changes back to the granddaughter of the world's wealthiest man. Since she can't be Benjamin's wife, she'll be his nemesis instead. She'd like to see who's the unworthy one now!

Princess Nathania replaces the role of Prince Nathan, her twin brother who is suffering from a serious illness. That made her forced to live as her brother and made her undergo things outside of her habits, including the abundant attention of the palace dwellers and the people of Lithonia Kingdom. Also, the terrible rivalry of Edafos and Fotia who wanted to overthrow Lithonia as the greatest dynasty on earth. On a mission to find silver leafy plants in the forbidden forest, Nathania must face the cruelty of the demon king, who is none other than The Crown Prince of Fotia who nearly killed her with a fire that burned five years ago in a lavender garden. Not to mention The Crown Prince Edafos, the owner of the terrible power who had openly declared war on her. Can Nathania bear the burden of being The Crown Prince of Lithonia without having the power of a god like her brother?

"I, Lopo Foster of the Nightfall Pack, as a result, announce that my fated mate Lupa will join our pack. I hope that everyone will treat both Lupa and Luna Freya with equal respect in the future." My husband Lopo had announced in front of our pack members on our third wedding anniversary that he had found his fated mate. I stared blankly at the two figures cuddled up in the centre of the hall as a wave of numbness washed over me, and I listened to all the pack members congratulating them wholeheartedly. Loop’s so-called Fated Mate, Lupa ,feigning innocence and vulnerability, handed me a glass of wine. But that glass of wine took my life! Yet, the Moon Goddess decided my story wasn't over. She granted me a second chance. This time, I am determined to peel back the mask of that bitch and make Lopo experience a profound regret that will be his living torment!

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Claire Black was betrayed in the worst possible way by her husband Liam and best friend Diana. She died pregnant and miserable at their hands just because her husband wanted to gain the Alpha position of her pack. Her only wish while taking her last breath was to get a second chance. What will happen when the universe grants her dying wish and Claire is reborn into the past? Would she get revenge successfully? Would she find the love she deserves this time round with Sebastian, her real mate who had always been there for her in her last life? Follow Claire's journey and find out what happens in her second chance at life…

Yesterday was history; tomorrow is a mystery and today? When a rebellious child fought with dad and left his home; he came to his grandfather's house; news flashed on tv, the seven big holes found by the scientist on the earth; ancient and believed to be created by aliens or by the fallen angels. He didn't believe any of this; there his grandpa told him a life-changing story. With one condition; he allowed him to ask only three questions. The story begins when the seven angels were thrown down to live a human life; evolved themselves. What happened when they mated with the daughters of humans? Did their children lost their lives; or they become the origin of all mythical creatures like the werewolf, vampire, dragons, sirens, Nephilim. Are they still alive or killed by the prophesied flood as justice to the human race. At last, who is waiting for its salvation; wanted to return home. Join the journey of the fallen angels who supported the wrong wicket one; came to spend their life on earth. Yaahadana, the strongest of all; Naksh the moon lover; Dev the mind controller; Quasar the manipulator; Lohit the lover of elements, and lastly Zayaan the protector of the human race.

Iseoluwa, a cold hearted guy returned home to avenge the brutal killings of his family that took place sixteen years ago. Staying in a foreign country at such a young age played a huge role in his finding solace in reading various novels on disorders. The scene of his family being brutalized was forever engraved in his memory. The thought alone was heart wrenching. Iseoluwa decided to avenge their deaths. Having gathered extremely smart people, he returned to Nigeria.However, things he didn't plan for took charge. He was framed of murders and the police got into action. The scheme became tougher. Why wouldn't it? What crime case remained the same when Ewawummi was in charge? An uptight lady officer who found pleasure in locking criminals behind the bars.Read as the game fully began. In a manipulative world like this, how far would Ewawummi go with her uptight nature?

Grace Hammond lost the most important person in her life, her grandmother, Juliet. Left with little beyond a failing farm and not much clue how to run it, she's trapped-- either she gives up three generations of roots and leaves, or she finds some help and makes it work. When a mysterious letter from Juliet drops a much needed windfall in her lap, Grace knows she has one chance to save the only place she's ever called home and posts a want-ad.The knight that rides to her rescue is Robert Zhao, an Army veteran and struggling college student. A first generation Korean American, Rob is trying desperately to establish some roots, not just for himself, but for the parents he's trying to get through the immigration process, a secret he's keeping even from his best friends. Grace's posting for a local handyman, offering room and board in exchange for work he already loves doing, is exactly the situation he needs to put that process on track.Neither is prepared for the instant chemistry, the wild sweet desire that flares between them. But life in a small town isn't easy. At worst, strangers are regarded suspiciously, and at best, as profoundly flawed-- and the Hammond women have a habit of collecting obscure and ruthless enemies. Can their budding love take root in subtly hostile soil and weather the weeds seeking to choke them out?