Dirty Jokes For Him

I hid behind a thick tree trunk and watched silently as a grizzly bear attacked my husband. In my previous life, I was a guide. I led my husband—an environmental photographer—and his female colleague into a nature reserve to film wildlife. While scouting the route, I discovered a nursing grizzly bear and immediately warned them not to take any photos and to retreat slowly. To my shock, they intentionally bumped into me, causing my right leg to be cut and bleed. The scent of blood enraged the bear, and it charged straight at me, sinking its massive jaws into my abdomen. After the bear left, my husband calmly stripped me of all my equipment. Then, wrapping his arms around his female colleague, he kissed her. He turned to me with a sinister smile creeping across his face. "Kate," he said, "I'll be honest. I never loved you. You're dying. Now, all your assets will be mine." I bled out and died. When I opened my eyes again, it was the morning of the day we entered the mountains.

He is my only chance at freedom. She is the daughter of my enemy. Will their love survive? Zain As the Sultan of one of the most powerful countries in the Middle-East, I need to find my Sultana. But I don’t intend to have heirs or even get married. Until I stumbled into Nasrin Elbaz. I cannot resist her. So I will claim her as mine. My Sultana. My Wife. My Lover. I, Sultan Zain Al Latif, will propose to Princess Nasrin for a marriage. If she rejects me… Well, I have been told I can be quite persuasive and demanding when I want to be. Nasrin He is a Sultan and I am the Princess of the country he is nemesis with. I don’t belong in his wealthy country that bleeds gold and his Palace. I am trying to hold on to what little freedom I have. No way can I fall for some dirty talking or his obsidian eyes curling with hunger whenever he sees me. Even if my body craves his tender touch and his sinful mouth. I have to get my freedom and find a way to escape the proposals of marriage. Without his help, thank you very much. “I am asking you to marry me.” “Are you asking or ordering, Sultan?” “I am asking, Princess.” I smiled at her. “For now.”

Before she turns 21, Lya faces the ultimate choice: follow the path her family has set for her, or risk everything for the one who holds her heart. Romer, her childhood best friend, vanished from her life years ago when his family moved to another pack. Now, on the brink of adulthood, he’s back mysterious, powerful, and stirring feelings she thought she’d buried. But Lya’s parents have other plans for her, ones that involve a betrothal to the charming but dangerously possessive Niall, the Alpha’s son. As tensions between contendants rise and Lya’s heart is torn between duty and desire, secrets from her past and her future collide. Her true mate has been revealed, but the forces working to keep them apart are darker and more dangerous than she ever imagined. In a world where love is bound by fate but twisted by power, Lya must decide: will she fight for the mate she was destined for, or be trapped in a future she never wanted?

I had been Silas Sterling's mate for seven years. We decided to get tattoos of each other's names. This was a Binding Tattoo that represented eternal love in the Moonstone Wolf pack. It had the power to bind mates eternally. When I got the tattoo, I realized the malicious words 'Public Male Amenity' had been tattooed on my chest. It chilled me to the bone. My adopted sister, Greta Pound, was the one who tattooed me. She covered her mouth as she laughed. "Don't you always enjoy attracting the attention of all the male werewolves by dressing so skimpily in the pack, Freya? I'm just helping you to publicize this." Greta was a female werewolf I had saved. Why was she treating me this way when I treated her like my sister? I grabbed her hair angrily, but Silas pushed me violently to the side as he pulled Greta protectively into his arms. He frowned as he berated me unhappily, "Greta was just joking with you. Why are you so mad about it?" I stared at his bare chest where my name should be tattooed. However, the name 'Greta' was there instead. She looked up at me from Silas' arms and smiled innocently yet tauntingly at me. "Silas said our names rhymed, Freya, so I played a joke by tattooing my name on him. You aren't mad about this, are you?"

On the day of my wedding with Hannah Hawkes, her first love, Lucas Tate, sends his critical notice to her. He mentions that he wants to wear a wedding tuxedo one last time at a wedding before his death. In order to fulfill Lucas' wish, Hannah locks me up in a lounge and gets ready to attend the wedding with him. Her impatient voice echoes outside the door. "Why are you so cold-blooded? Lucas is about to die, you know! What's the harm in letting him have his way?" Some time after that, Freya Jensen, the young woman who lives next door, gets up to the rooftop and begs me to marry her. With red-rimmed eyes, Hannah asks pleadingly, "Are you going to give up on our seven-year relationship because of her?" I merely slap her hand away. "Am I supposed to watch Freya die? It's just a marriage registration. Stop being cold-blooded, will you?"

My girlfriend's schoolmate is being hounded by creditors. In my past life, the same incident had unfolded before my eyes. I was worried that my girlfriend would provoke these ruthless creditors, so I'd advised her not to meddle. However, her schoolmate later overdosed on sleeping pills. Later on, my girlfriend acted as if nothing had happened and continued preparing for our wedding. But after she got drunk one day, I found her caressing his picture tenderly—before stabbing me in the heart with a knife. She claimed that if not for my indifference and selfishness, her schoolmate wouldn't have taken his own life. Now that I've been reborn, I'll grant her wish and let her help him pay off his debts. Presently, I say, "He's your schoolmate. If you can help him, go ahead. I won't object."

Sabi nila First love never dies. Pero para kay Faye gusto na niyang mamatay ang damdamin niya para sa ex boyfriend niyang si Mark. Ayaw na muna niyang mainlove. Ngunit mapipigilan ba niya ang kaniyang puso sa muling pagtibok nito? Sino kaya sa dalawang binata ang karapatdapat niyang piliin na maging second love: Si Lance ba na kababata niya at matagal nang nagmamahal sa kaniya o si James, ang the man in a leather shoes na bumihag sa puso niya pero nakatakda na palang ikasal sa iba?

She never expected to fall for him. Jack Smith, the city's most notorious playboy, was everything she thought she should avoid. She was just a nobody-or so she believed. But when her fiancé cruelly discards her for a business deal with a billionaire heiress and frames her brother for a crime he didn't commit, she's left broken and desperate. With no one else to turn to, she seeks help from the one man she swore she'd never rely on-Jack Smith, the billionaire who had always seemed out of reach. But as secrets unfold, she discovers she's not the nobody she thought she was. She's an heiress in her own right, with more power than she ever imagined. Now, her ex-fiancé wants her back, realizing too late what he lost. But has she already fallen for Jack, the man who's shown her a world of wealth, power, and a love she never thought possible? In a battle of hearts and fortunes, she must decide: reclaim her past or embrace the future with the man who stole her heart?

Everyone in our social circle knew that my fiancée, Hazel Mullins, had a skin hunger condition toward me. Only touching me brought her excitement and satisfaction. But the self-proclaimed heartthrob and heir to the Newman family refused to believe it. He boldly declared that he would win her over within a month. After bombarding her with seductive photos for an entire month, Hazel finally reached her breaking point and auctioned them off. With his reputation ruined, Rory Newman was disowned by his family. In a fit of rage, he jumped off a bridge in an apparent suicide attempt. Hazel lost her mind and leaped after him. I became the biggest laughingstock in the circle. That was until I went skiing in the Alps and accidentally bumped into Hazel helping Rory select ski gear. She explained with a composed expression, "Rory's dealing with some serious emotional trauma. The doctor suggested more outdoor activities. Just please, don't throw another tantrum." I felt bewildered. I wasn't even involved with them anymore. Why would I get upset? Then it hit me that she was unaware of one fact. I had already married someone else on the same day she jumped into the water after Rory in that dramatic display of devotion. I was simply there for my honeymoon, with a bit of skiing on the side.

For three years of marriage, she—Camelia Collyn—was merely a wife on paper. Calvin Ashford—her husband—had never touched her, nor had he ever loved her. When the truth was revealed—that she was only a substitute, and that her husband had been saving himself for his first love—she knew the end of this marriage had already been decided. Calvin Ashford intended to divorce her. Of course, it was all for the sake of returning to Samantha Rose (Tata)—his first love who had come back. However, one mistake on the final night changed everything. Camelia left, leaving behind the divorce papers, and strangely, instead of feeling happy about Camelia’s departure, it was quite the opposite. Why was that so?