Dirty Jokes For Him Novels & Stories

Jace Thorne—my childhood crush—crashed a car with me. I walked away fine. He "lost his memory." Plot twist: my dead grandma's soul moved in. "Jace is faking amnesia again to mess with my sweet granddaughter. If I were alive, I'd break his legs myself!" I blinked. Hard. Grandma's voice wouldn't shut up. "In her past life, Demi was miserable. Jace left her to rot while he partied with that Stafford girl. Had a heart attack, and he was lighting birthday candles. Trash!" Then came the kicker: "Your grandpa's letting you pick your fiancé. Don't even think about Jace. Pick Leroy. That boy's actually decent." Right on cue, Grandpa strolled into the hospital with the elder squad, slapped down pics of four legacy heirs, and told me to choose. I didn't even blink. Picked Leroy Leighton—my childhood nemesis turned fiancé. Because yeah, I'm a grandma's girl to the core. If she said Jace Thorne didn't love me, then I was so done.

At my coming-of-age ceremony, I confessed my feelings to Uncle Daniel, who wasn't blood-related to me. Yet, he sent me overseas to study. Later on, I was diagnosed with brain cancer. The headaches were brutal. Left without a choice, I turned to him for help. Yet, his first love accused me of being wasted abroad. Said I got into stuff. Claimed my pain were just withdrawals. He believed her and dragged me back home. He locked me up in the family's abandoned villa atop the mountains, guards watching me around the clock. With treatment delayed, my headaches grew worse. It was a complete nightmare. One night, I couldn't take it anymore. I quietly slipped out of the window and jumped. One year after my death, he finally remembers me.

Jenna thought she was outsmarting her grandfather’s matchmaking scheme—until the trap was hers all along. Desperate to escape an arranged marriage, Jenna strikes a deal with a mysterious stranger to pose as her fake fiancé. It’s the perfect plan… until the man she trusted turns out to be none other than Rob—her grandfather’s secret pawn, the one whom she had rejected. As Jenna’s feelings for Rob grow, so does the web of betrayal. But Rob has a secret of his own too. As secrets unravel and old betrayals surface, jenna finds herself caught in a twisted triangle of love, manipulation and betrayal. Three hearts. One game. And all will stop at nothing to get what they want, even if it means getting their hands dirty. Who will survive the final play in this world where loyalty is a lie and love is a weapon?

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Lucas snapped, his eyes darkening as he threw the papers and pictures at my face. I didn't need to look at them to know what they were. My heart sank at the pain and look of betrayal in his eyes, but he had hurt me more, and he had no right to play the victim here. "How was I supposed to not do that? You disappeared without a trace!" I yelled back in anger, my fists clenching at my sides as I tried not to cry. Losing her virginity to Lucas was a dream come true for Audrey until he vanished without anything but a goodbye note. She became a single mom and moved on, raising her son on her own and working to take care of them both. Five years went by like a flash and Lucas returned with his fiancee, but this time as her new boss and he didn't even remember who she was. Fate and destiny played a game of second chance, bringing the lost lovers back together. Would they be able to ignore the flame that kindled whenever they were together? Will they let go of the past and embrace the possible future? Or will they let history repeat itself?

Liesa Valtieri was just a psychology assistant—nothing glamorous. When her supervising therapist passed on a case, Liesa took it up. That decision dragged her into a long-term, hands-on job: fixing the emotional blind spots of business tycoon Angus Romano’s fractured personalities, one world at a time. --- **World One: The CEO and His Personal Doctor** Angus reclined dramatically on the hospital bed, eyes dark. "You only lost love," he rasped, "but I lost a leg." Liesa glanced at his chart, then his uninjured limbs. "...Angus, it's just mild discomfort in your right leg." He stared at her. "If you don't love me, this leg can go." She rubbed her temples. "I love you. Happy now?" He smiled, instantly healed. --- **World Two: Prison Kingpin and Rookie Guard** "Do you like me?" he asked, casually. Liesa didn't hesitate. "No." He nodded. "Alright. Then I'll escape tonight." "...Wait..." --- **World Three: Noble Lady and Her Devoted Attendant** Liesa handed him a book. "I want you to study more," she said. "Grow up educated. Contribute to society." The attendant hugged her waist. "No," he said calmly. "I just want to stay with you and sleep." "..." --- **World Four: Heiress Wife and Her Husbands… Plural?** Angmar Romano crossed his arms. "I'm Liesa's husband," he said. "The wedding was ruined by a certain jerk." Across the room, Durgus smirked. "Sorry. First come, first served." Liesa stared at them both. "...OMG," she muttered, "two Mr. Romonos? And they're twins?" --- **World Five: City Lord's Wife and Her Scheming Husband** Angus sighed, voice full of regret. "I've only wanted one thing," he said. "To be a kind, harmless man." Liesa, speechless, replied, "Could you put down the knife on my neck first?"

On the tenth day of my postpartum recovery, my husband, Deputy Commander Harvey Wyatt, uploads a photo of me breastfeeding my newborn in a disheveled state to the department's group chat. Obviously, that photo was taken without my knowledge. "See? After having a kid, she's as loose as a sack. It makes me sick just looking at her. I much prefer my side piece, who's nice and tight." A few female colleagues send sweating emojis to the group. The majority of the chat, however, consists of the male colleagues' perverse silence. While I continue to burp my baby with one hand, my tears land on the screen. In order to give birth to this baby, my pelvic bone was sawn in half, which causes me so much pain that I can't even walk properly. But all I get in return is my own husband body-shaming me in front of hundreds of people. I don't bother arguing with Harvey at all. Half an hour later, I drag my broken body all the way to the commander's office with a divorce agreement as well as the chat history over the past ten days, which has been printed out, in my hands.

Five years ago, Fulvia's life changed after a terrible accident. Her face was scarred, she lost her sight, and her once-beautiful figure faded away. Now, people call her ugly. Fat. A monster. Every date runs at the sight of her. No one wants to marry Fulvia. But behind the scars is a story no one knows, she became blind saving a high school boy. And ever since, she’s been forgotten... until her father makes a deal: 30% of his company shares in exchange for Henry Williams marrying his daughter. Fulvia doesn’t know her marriage is just business. Henry never loved her. He hides her from the world. And when his childhood love, Hana, returns from Korea, things only get worse. Hana spent four years in Korea, studying fashion and working for a luxury brand. Now she’s back, elegant, powerful, and ready to reclaim Henry. Henry brings Hana home, introduces her as a “sister” to Fulvia, and begins cheating without shame. But fate has other plans. Fulvia regains her eyesight. And on the very day she tries to share the good news, she overhears Henry say: “She’s nothing. I’m only keeping her for the family deal.” Heartbroken, Fulvia signs the divorce papers and vanishes. Months later, she returns. She’s no longer the woman he rejected. She’s stunning. Fierce. Desired by all. Now known as Ava... she becomes everything he ever wanted. But now..... He longs for her. And she doesn’t even look his way.

“You have one year, Claire. Give my son a child, or your father goes to prison.” Claire Monroe’s marriage to Nathaniel Blackwell was supposed to save her family. Instead, it buried her deeper. Her husband is cold, powerful, and impossible to read. He does not touch her, yet watches her like she already belongs to him. But Claire has one secret no perfect bride should have. Three months before the wedding, she spent one reckless night with a stranger who made her forget every rule. On her wedding day, she saw him again. Adrian Blackwell. Her husband’s brother. Nathaniel knew. And he married her anyway. Now Claire is trapped between the man who owns her name and the man who still remembers her body. One brother refuses to claim her. The other refuses to forget her. And in the Blackwell family, the most dangerous secrets are the ones whispered behind closed doors.

Emma Thompson appears to be the perfect devoted wife until her husband leaves for a business trip and his dominant, massively endowed best friend Jax shows up. One forbidden, brutal fuck on the kitchen counter awakens a starving slut inside her. What begins as a secret affair quickly spirals into raw threesomes, savage double penetration, extreme breeding sessions, and total sexual ownership. As Emma’s body and mind are ruined for her husband, she risks everything for the mind-shattering orgasms only Daddy and his friends can give her. How long can she keep her double life before it all explodes?

When I was eighteen, Kael pulled my sister and me out of a rogue auction ring on the northern border. From that day on, I fought for him, bled for him, and helped him carve out his place among the northern packs. By the time his name carried weight across the borderlands, everyone knew I was the one who stood closest to his power. I thought that one day, he might finally look at me and see more than a weapon at his side. Then he brought home a soft-spoken Omega named Liora. “Mira, look at you. Covered in blood again.” “Wash up before you frighten Liora.” After that, everything changed. The pack began calling her future Luna. Kael took my blades away, tied an apron around my waist, and made me responsible for her every need. Whenever she slipped into places she should not have been, got hurt, and claimed I had frightened her out of jealousy, Kael believed her. Every punishment came with a reason. Neat enough to sound fair. Sharp enough to hurt. I accepted all of it. Because years ago, when I asked how I could repay him for saving my sister and me, Kael had said: “You want to repay me?” “Then do one hundred things for me.” I lowered my eyes to the yellowing notebook in my hands. Only three were left. When I finished them, I would owe him nothing. And then I would leave.