Dirty Jokes For Him

“IKAW?” My eyes nearly popped out of my face when I saw him—the mysterious stranger from last night. Is it him? The same man? Parang gusto kong mahimatay. Wehh? Hindi pwede! Impossible! my inner voice screamed, pero ang katawan ko nanginginig na parang nakuryente. Hard f*ck na yata ng buhay ‘to. And suddenly, a memory crashed into me like a tidal wave. That night. That stupid, reckless night. The stolen kisses, the laughter between moans, the way he made me beg—“Wag kang titigil!”—like I’d lose myself if he stopped. I swore I’d never see him again. I swore it was just a one-night stand, a mistake I could bury. But now he’s standing right in front of me. Not just a man. Not just anyone. But the CEO. And worse… the ex-boyfriend who once shattered my heart. His smug grin sent shivers down my spine. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” he said, like fate itself was mocking me. I froze, torn between rage, fear, and something I couldn’t even name. My mind screamed run, but my heart whispered, stay. My world was spinning, and suddenly, every choice felt heavier than ever. Will this be the start of something dangerous… or a responsibility I can’t escape?

Liesa Valtieri was just a psychology assistant—nothing glamorous. When her supervising therapist passed on a case, Liesa took it up. That decision dragged her into a long-term, hands-on job: fixing the emotional blind spots of business tycoon Angus Romano’s fractured personalities, one world at a time. --- **World One: The CEO and His Personal Doctor** Angus reclined dramatically on the hospital bed, eyes dark. "You only lost love," he rasped, "but I lost a leg." Liesa glanced at his chart, then his uninjured limbs. "...Angus, it's just mild discomfort in your right leg." He stared at her. "If you don't love me, this leg can go." She rubbed her temples. "I love you. Happy now?" He smiled, instantly healed. --- **World Two: Prison Kingpin and Rookie Guard** "Do you like me?" he asked, casually. Liesa didn't hesitate. "No." He nodded. "Alright. Then I'll escape tonight." "...Wait..." --- **World Three: Noble Lady and Her Devoted Attendant** Liesa handed him a book. "I want you to study more," she said. "Grow up educated. Contribute to society." The attendant hugged her waist. "No," he said calmly. "I just want to stay with you and sleep." "..." --- **World Four: Heiress Wife and Her Husbands… Plural?** Angmar Romano crossed his arms. "I'm Liesa's husband," he said. "The wedding was ruined by a certain jerk." Across the room, Durgus smirked. "Sorry. First come, first served." Liesa stared at them both. "...OMG," she muttered, "two Mr. Romonos? And they're twins?" --- **World Five: City Lord's Wife and Her Scheming Husband** Angus sighed, voice full of regret. "I've only wanted one thing," he said. "To be a kind, harmless man." Liesa, speechless, replied, "Could you put down the knife on my neck first?"

Astoria Winters lost everything on one mundane weekday. The man she loved for the last five years betrayed her and cast out of the only place she had come to call ‘home’. She finds herself with nowhere to go…until a mysterious man comes to take her to her estranged mother, who is apparently getting remarried. And just like that, she is thrust into a world that she never knew existed outside novels. Viktor Romero is the Alpha heir of the Black Moon Pack. Polite but detached, controlled but cunning, he has spent his life reining the beast inside him. Over the years, he has come to believe that there wasn’t anyone fated waiting for him. And he was okay with that. That is until Astoria walked into his life. She was human and forbidden because she was his step-sister by marriage. A story of fated mates, forbidden desire, and a love powerful enough to challenge the moon itself.

“And what you tried today,” I winced in pain as he held my nape from behind before turning me around. I peered up at him in fear while he stared down at me with his intimidating eyes. His eyes were thundering. Leaning down further, he made my pulse rise. Being so close to him— a man, no less, I could see the clear spec of blackness inside his dark eyes. They were so raw and so dark and so piercing. “I would suggest you not try it again,” he added, his bottomless brooding eyes burned into mine, “because no matter how hard you are going to try, you are never going to get out of here without my permission. Away from my sight,” he vowed in a menacing tone that had no expression at all. “Don't get your hopes high.” Tears split down my eyes while he studied my face. “You like escaping. Don't you?” He explained to me in a condescending tone. “Let's see how you are going to try now with my eyes on you— all the time." “You can try all you want, but you can never break my spirits!” I looked at him, directly in his eyes without blinking. His eyes were still focussed on my face as he slowly stepped around me. “Do you mean it?” His voice was strangely soft, “Maybe I cannot. But.. ” Adding to his intimidating aura. Shaur. “No.. ” I whispered. “I can break him.” His gaze met mine in an instant. “You seem to have forgotten your own mental capacity of understanding certain situations. Let me refresh it for you.” His eyes seemed to burn holes at me. “I'd rather not get blood on your dress.” WARNING: This book contains strong language, dubious situations, deception issues, manipulations, abduction and dark romance.

On the eve of the wedding, my fiancé's adopted sister was drugged at a bar and called for help. Her body was burning with fever. I grabbed my fiancé as he was about to rush out. "Take her to the hospital. Doctors have proper antidotes." Julian Zane slapped me for suggesting that. There was a savagery in his eyes I had never seen before. "Nora, do you have any conscience at all? Elena is suffering a fate worse than death, and you're still nitpicking?" He yanked off his tie and spoke in a hoarse tone. "She's the sister I've cherished since childhood. I will save her even if I have to sacrifice myself to do it." I watched him undo his shirt buttons with his trembling fingers. Elena, flushed and feverish, fell into his arms. The private room door slammed shut in front of me. The sounds of passion inside struck me like blow after blow, shattering five years of blind devotion into dust.

Jenna thought she was outsmarting her grandfather’s matchmaking scheme—until the trap was hers all along. Desperate to escape an arranged marriage, Jenna strikes a deal with a mysterious stranger to pose as her fake fiancé. It’s the perfect plan… until the man she trusted turns out to be none other than Rob—her grandfather’s secret pawn, the one whom she had rejected. As Jenna’s feelings for Rob grow, so does the web of betrayal. But Rob has a secret of his own too. As secrets unravel and old betrayals surface, jenna finds herself caught in a twisted triangle of love, manipulation and betrayal. Three hearts. One game. And all will stop at nothing to get what they want, even if it means getting their hands dirty. Who will survive the final play in this world where loyalty is a lie and love is a weapon?

At my coming-of-age ceremony, I confessed my feelings to Uncle Daniel, who wasn't blood-related to me. Yet, he sent me overseas to study. Later on, I was diagnosed with brain cancer. The headaches were brutal. Left without a choice, I turned to him for help. Yet, his first love accused me of being wasted abroad. Said I got into stuff. Claimed my pain were just withdrawals. He believed her and dragged me back home. He locked me up in the family's abandoned villa atop the mountains, guards watching me around the clock. With treatment delayed, my headaches grew worse. It was a complete nightmare. One night, I couldn't take it anymore. I quietly slipped out of the window and jumped. One year after my death, he finally remembers me.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Lucas snapped, his eyes darkening as he threw the papers and pictures at my face. I didn't need to look at them to know what they were. My heart sank at the pain and look of betrayal in his eyes, but he had hurt me more, and he had no right to play the victim here. "How was I supposed to not do that? You disappeared without a trace!" I yelled back in anger, my fists clenching at my sides as I tried not to cry. Losing her virginity to Lucas was a dream come true for Audrey until he vanished without anything but a goodbye note. She became a single mom and moved on, raising her son on her own and working to take care of them both. Five years went by like a flash and Lucas returned with his fiancee, but this time as her new boss and he didn't even remember who she was. Fate and destiny played a game of second chance, bringing the lost lovers back together. Would they be able to ignore the flame that kindled whenever they were together? Will they let go of the past and embrace the possible future? Or will they let history repeat itself?

On the tenth day of my postpartum recovery, my husband, Deputy Commander Harvey Wyatt, uploads a photo of me breastfeeding my newborn in a disheveled state to the department's group chat. Obviously, that photo was taken without my knowledge. "See? After having a kid, she's as loose as a sack. It makes me sick just looking at her. I much prefer my side piece, who's nice and tight." A few female colleagues send sweating emojis to the group. The majority of the chat, however, consists of the male colleagues' perverse silence. While I continue to burp my baby with one hand, my tears land on the screen. In order to give birth to this baby, my pelvic bone was sawn in half, which causes me so much pain that I can't even walk properly. But all I get in return is my own husband body-shaming me in front of hundreds of people. I don't bother arguing with Harvey at all. Half an hour later, I drag my broken body all the way to the commander's office with a divorce agreement as well as the chat history over the past ten days, which has been printed out, in my hands.

A LUNA FOR TWO ALPHAS (She Belongs To Us Not Him) BLURB “I, Adriana Butterton, rejec-” the words barely left her lips before they attacked. Like a beast hunting a prey Tyler grips her throat cutting off sounds from producing before digging his fangs into her neck. Ryler follows suit sinking his fangs into the other side of her neck. “No, let go!!!” she screams, thrashing her feet beneath them. They just signed their death. ** Adriana Butterton, a young wolf who ran away from home after her father disowned her in favour of her step sister. Now hiding away in a whole new pack, the last thing she expects is to meet her mate. Or should I say mates? The two most powerful Alpha in the whole five packs residing in America, Tyler and his twin, Ryler Chase. Scared for their lives she resorts to rejecting them, something they don't accept. Forcing both their marks on her. But they don't know what she knows. They don't know that any man who tries to claim her dies. The head of her ex buried four feet under the earth can attest to that. Now they have marked her when she already belongs to another. Death is coming after them yet they have no idea. Betrayal, pain, love, heart break, and death seeks to break them apart. Will they ever be able to outrun death or worse overcome it? Or will the same fate that befall her ex become theirs too? What exactly claimed her or is it who?