Dirty Tagalog Jokes

Hindi inaasahan ni Yorzuana Ghitt na ibebenta siya ng kaniyang mga magulang sa isang lalaki kapalit ng bilyon-bilyong halaga. Naisipan lang na bilhin siya ni Roger Mizores dahil sa pagnanasa niya rito at walang halong pagmamahal sa dalaga. Ngunit sa kabila ng pagiging matigas na puso ni Roger, paninilbihan ang isinukli ni Yorzuana sa kaniya hanggang sa magsawa ito dahil sa pag-amin ng binata na binili lamang niya ito. Nasaktan, nagpakamatay ngunit muling babangon. 'Yan ang nangyari kay Yorzuana nang hindi niya inaasahan. May magagawa ba si Roger para sa dalaga?

Memories would flow back. Spells would be casted. The dead would be resurrected. A war would ensue. And a change in the atmosphere... the wicked ones became good and the good ones became wicked. The Chosen Twelve were destined to protect the mages of Ataraxia from formidable black creatures, in accordance to the prophecy of the Phoenix Empress. They were the Celestial Zodiacs, the most powerful twelve beings. They were the keepers of peace and order. The chosen ones who will soon retrieve Ataraxia from its ashes.

Scarlett Louise Santillan, a.k.a. "Red," is the best and most famous assassin of the Wolfgang Creed Organization. She's the rank one. She lived just like a normal businesswoman by day, but by night, she was a dangerous, powerful, badass, fearless, smart, and bravely beautiful woman. No one can match her. She's ruthless and brutal when killing. She kills anyone who gets in her way without mercy. ——————— Lucien Aziel Savedra is a multi-billionaire. He is the owner of Savedra Oil Company, the richest company in the country and Asia. He is known as an arrogant, cold, and heartless man. That's what most people know because that's what they see in him, but the truth is, Lucien doesn't want to show his true self to others. That was his father's order. Moreover, they are a rich family in all of Asia. They have many enemies, and they should not be seen as weak. Not only that, Lucien didn't know that his father was a member of the underground society. ——————— After Red accomplished her mission, her boss called her for the next job. She thought her mission would follow the same routine, but she was wrong. His boss gives her a new assignment. A mission she never thought would be given to her will be accepted. Her mission is to protect and be the maid of an arrogant billionaire. What happened to Red when she was with the man? How will she protect the man when a lot happens that she didn't expect? Will she be able to survive the mission to protect and guard him? Or, for the first time, will she give up on her mission?

My husband, Jaxon Murray, was a renowned medical expert and owned a big company. He was participating in a clinical drug trial when someone tampered with his medication. Under the influence, he ended up entangled with an intern—ninety-nine times, right there on the lab table. When he regained clarity, he rushed home, locked himself in the bathroom, and submerged himself in the tub without food or water as he waited for me to return from work. "Lauren," he said, "my medication was switched during the trial. I made a terrible mistake. But I paid her off and had her dismissed. She'll never appear before me again." I wept miserably, clutching my belly that had once again failed to carry life. And in the end, I chose to forgive him. Several months later, he crashed into a guardrail while answering a phone call, causing me to miscarry. The injury left me unable to conceive for life. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, his voice choked with remorse. "Darling, I don't deserve you. I'm so sorry… We don't need children. We have each other, isn't that enough?" One day, I went to bring him lunch, only to find him in the next hospital room, cradling and feeding the woman he swore he'd never see again. "She's too weak to eat by herself," he said. "She has early-stage stomach cancer. There's no one else to take care of her… she's all alone." I chose to believe him. Again. Until one day, a pair of twins appeared in our home. Sophie Dixon knelt before me, wearing the postpartum gown he had once lovingly picked out for me, clutching my hand with tears streaming down her face. "It's all my fault. Please don't blame Jaxon. If you say the word, I'll leave with the children immediately." Jaxon grabbed my other hand, desperation thick in his voice. "Lauren, you've always been the kindest person I know. The children are still so young. How could Sophie possibly raise them alone? You wouldn't be that cruel… would you?" I looked down at the hands gripping mine from both sides, and suddenly, I laughed. "Jaxon, let's get a divorce. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness."

Kezia Chloe Villanueva smart, pretty, brave and talented. she's a princess of Villanueva clan. Iniingatan at Inaalagaan. Over protective sa kanya ang nag-iisang kapatid na si Lucas at ang tatlo nitong pinsan. Pati na rin ang dalawa niyang kababata. Minsan na rin siyang napag-kamalan na tomboy dahil lagi niyang nakakasama ang mga ito. Minsan din ay napapaaway siya dahil sa mga girlfriends ng kanyang pinsan at kababata dahil sa selos o kung hindi naman napag-kakamalan siya na isa sa mga Girlfriend ng mga ito. Her life was going happily, Until one day the person she didn't expect came back. The person she forgot, The person she cried, The person who left her without knowing the reason, Left without even saying goodbye. And also one of her childhood friend. Will she be able to face it again? Especially now, that they live in the same house?

Vanessa Alvarez is the spoiled brat and black sheep of her family. She loves to play around and tease her college instructor, Gian. Because of her dark plan, Vanessa ended up marrying Gian Saldivar—a gay fashion designer and teacher. But fate was harsh on her, because no matter what she did, her gay husband could never love her back. Vanessa wants, Vanessa gets. She forced her instructor Gian to become her man. But the more she pushed herself on him, the more he pulled away. But is he really the man she thinks he is? Will she ever win his heart, or will she finally stop chasing him? Will fate change and agree with her plans—or will she be the one to give up and walk away?

Si Kaoree Rogen ay simple lamang babae hangad niyang makatapos nang pag-aaral ngunit sa kasamang-palad ay may nangyari hindi inaasahan. Dahil rito tinulungan siya nang kanyang matalik na kaibigan, si Jez. Si Jez na naninirahan kasama ang apat pang mga lalaki. Doon ay tinanggap si Kaoree upang manilbihan at tumira sa iisang bubong kasama ang limang lalaki. Si Thaddeus, kilala bilang isa sa pinakagwapo at tahimik na lalaki sa kanilang lima. Sporty type siya at isa siyang introvert. Kabaligtaran niya ay si Latrelle, siya ay kilala hindi lang dahil sa ka-gwapuhan niyang taglay ngunit karamihan sa mga babaeng nagkakagusto sa kanya ay dine-date niya. Ang pinakaclose niya naman ay si Marcus , parehas silang makulit ni Latrelle kaya sila ang pinaka magkasundo sa lima. Hilig niya? Babae? Hindi. Mahilig siya sa paru-paro at adventurous siyang tao. Ang Heather nilang lima - Si Wyndery na sinalo ang lahat ng bagay na pinaka sa isang lalaki. Nasa kanya na ang talino, kabaitan at ka-gwapuhan. Ngunit ang kagandahan ay walang ibang sumalo kung hindi si Jez. Si Jezrielle, ang bestfriend ni Kaoree na hinding-hindi siya pababayaan. Nang makilala ni Kaoree ang apat na lalaki ay nagbago ang lahat. Lalo ng nahulog ang loob ng tatlo sa limang lalaki sa kanya. Ano nga ba ang mas mananaig? Ang pagkakaibigan, o ang puso? Ngunit paano na lang kung hindi lang pala iyon ang susubok sa kanila lalo na kay Kaoree? Pilit man na hindi alalahanin ang nakaraan ay sadyang binabalik ito ng tadhana. Ang nakaraan bang ito ang magiging sanhi upang magkawatak-watak sila o mas papatagin ang kanilang pagkakaibigan? Basahin niyo na lang ang nakakaloka! Nakakalandi! Nakaka-ugh! Walang iba kung hindi ang nobelang "A House With Heartthrobs." Mapapasabi ka na lang na, "Sana all!"

This Christmas was supposed to be quiet. My boyfriend cheated earlier, bluntly, and I was left with nothing but heartbreak and resentment which now reeked from within me. I planned to spend the holidays curled on my couch, watching Tik Tok, scrolling through my social media accounts, anything that wouldn't make me cry. But then Chloe, my best friend, invited me over. Her family's place was warm, full of life and exactly the escape I needed. I never expected anything. Definitely not him. Dominic Callahan. Chloe's father. I've always noticed him, strong, distant, way too captivating for someone his age though he never looked twice at me.... until now. I noticed the change. His eyes lingered longer. His words slower, even his stare. The air between us became tighter. I assured my self it was greif.... My emotions were taking a better part of me. But when he kissed me, I didn't refuse. When he pulled me into his room, I didn't say no. And then it became a normal thing. Everything in me flagged it wrong. Chloe didn't deserve this betrayal. But my desires didn't care about rules. And neither does her elder brother. Now, before Christmas lights go down...I'm with child. I only came for peace. But I found obsession, dirty secrets and something way too dangerous to name. This was supposed to be my holiday escape....so why does it feel like the beginning of my doom? Find out what happens next!

Si Francine Forenbach ay ang Prinsesa ng Green River Pack. Ang dakilang anak na babae ng Lycan King. Sa edad na katorse anyos, ang pamilya Forenbach ay nakilala ang isang hindi kilalang sibilyan. Binigyan siya ng pamilyang Forenbach ng mga kasuotan, pagkain, at tirahan. Laging malungkot ang buhay ni Azure mula nang siya ay isilang. Ngunit sa pagpasok niya sa Pack, sinimulan niyang pag-isipang muli ang desisyon na laging bumabalot sa kanyang isipan. Nagkaroon ng damdamin si Francine para kay Azure. Habang sila ay lunalaki, nakita ni Azure ang kanyang sarili na mahinang lalaki pagdating kay Francine. Napagtanto na ang kanyang damdamin para sa kanyang "kapatid" na babae ay hindi resulta ng kanilang pinagsamang pagkabata. Ngayong pareho na silang nasa tamang edad, dapat alamin ng dalawa kung paano mauunawaan ang kanilang nararamdaman bago pa maging mas kumplikado ang mga bagay-bagay. Imposibleng mahalin siya nito. Bawal niyang mahalin si Francine. Kasalanan ang mahalin ang dalaga. Si Francine ang kanyang nakababatang kapatid na babae. Pero ang tanong... paano niya malalabanan ang inosenteng kulay tsokolate na mga mata nito?

Maria Vienna Schneider is a ghost in the underworld-a second-ranked mafia member who moves unseen, striking with deadly precision. Sa araw, siya ay nagtatago sa maskara ng isang hindi kapansin-pansing nerd, isang pantakip na nagtatago ng kanyang tunay na pagkakakilanlan. Ngunit ang kanyang pinakabagong misyon ay naiiba sa lahat ng kanyang hinarap. Ngayong pagkakataon, hindi siya ipinadala para pumatay. Ipinadala siya upang may protektahan. Her mission? Draven Monticello. Heir of Monticellos, a man marked for death by enemies lurking in the shadows... and the man she's secretly loved for years. Upang maprotektahan si Draven, kailangang gawin ni Mavis ang hindi niya kailan man maisip na magagawa niya—to marry Draven. Bound by duty and deception, she enters a forced marriage with a man who despises her, unaware of the woman behind the mask. Ang bawat sandali kasama si Draven ay parehong isang pahirap at isang kasiyahan, isang masalimuot na sayaw sa pagitan ng tungkulin at pagnanasa. Ngunit habang lumalabo ang mga linya ng kanyang misyon at ng kanyang puso, nalagay siya sa sitwasyon kung saan kailangan niyang mamili. Manatili sa tabi ng lalaking hindi siya kayang mahalin, at isugal ang sarili niyang kapakanan upang si Draven ay protektahan? O ang magparaya at lumayo, bago ang mga lihim na kanyang tinatago ay sirain silang dalawa? In a world where love is dangerous and betrayal is inevitable, Mavis must decide. . . will she fight for the man she can never have, or sacrifice her heart to keep him safe?