Dirty Thirty Birthday Novels & Stories

Thalia Three years later “I can’t believe they really left me on my own with the kids on my birthday!” I lamented to my friend’s bitterly! It was my twenty-fifth birthday and I had so many things on my mind for today but my mates who swore they would make my life easy decided to ditch me on my birthday! Not only that, they both didn’t wish me a happy birthday even though this is the third year that I will be celebrating my birthday with them! And they never forgot my birthday until this year.

“I’m sorry I acted like a little jealous bitch and wanted to carve you up just as nicely as you’d tried to do me?” What kind of psychopathic behavior was that? There was no way I was going to go back. My phone chimed. A mail. WILLIAM, YOU’VE BEEN INVITED TO MY 30TH BIRTHDAY PARTY. I’M THINKING ABOUT MY PLACE, BUT YOU’LL PROBABLY GET THE LOCATION WHEN I MAKE UP MY MIND. HEHE. TRISTAN. I don’t know what to do with the email. On the one hand, he’s calling me William, so he’s probably not mad at me. But I also kind of wished it was a little formal.

First, that rude Alpha last night turns my world upside down, and now I’m feeling guilty over knocking out Fatso? What’s next? Tea parties and hugging circles? I must be going either bat-shit crazy… …or man-crazy. Either way, this day is NOT going to ruin my mood. Because guess what? My birthday is coming. YAY YAY YAY!

Tia said, pulling the blanket more over her body. That was how I decided to spend my birthday. My best friends had been here since morning. We had breakfast together, danced foolishly in the backyard while listening to music, and enjoying a short swim. After blowing out the candles of my cake that had ‘My Twenties Funeral’ written on it, we decided to watch Thirteen Going on Thirty. I had always wanted to watch this movie on my thirtieth birthday. While we were watching the movie, my doorbell rang, so I got up to open the door. I wasn’t waiting for anyone.

"Ohhh..ohh..yes yes yes..of course! I'm sorry .i'm just super excited to talk to you..! " "Baby before my phone dies, i wanna say that i'm sorry for last..i .i didn't know that my uncle was preparing a surprise birthday for me at the end,because he wasn't there for my birthday..So..so we got a little wasted last night..and im not feeling well ..with this hangover..i just need to rest a little bit more..i hope that you un.." DISCONNECTED. Fuck it! That fucking phone died! Grrr!

Of course, he wanted me to spend the night, and I said I'd cover the dinner plans. I remember he grinned, "What's a birthday bang without the magnum?" I guess that indicates what we had planned, but it really didn't describe the magnitude. We were going for the "Ultimate Birthday Bang," a curated threesome experience, starting with a dinner at her favorite restaurant, a sex swing, and a dildo gangbang. We even ordered a few special ones for the occasion, which included a 16" double-header, and a couple BBC pornstar dildos. In ordering the pornstar dildos, Pete and I were impressed with what was available. You could have all your favorite pornstars within reach, stashed in your nightstand. It

I bet her name is Bethany and her birthday is January 2nd 1994. Horny4U seemed to be working his lack of magic on Bethany who took the bait for a private chat. Poor girl. I shook my head. *PrinceCharming has invited you to a private chat room* ACCEPT or DECLINE *LimberJack has invited you to a private chat room* ACCEPT or DECLINE LonelyGirl: No private chats tonight. Sorry, on here for work 👩‍💻 LimberJack: For work...is that what's been keeping you away sweetheart? 😘

It's Grandpa's birthday banquet, and yet my fiancee is working late again, missing her one chance to meet the family. My brother and his wife, still bitter about me taking the project from them, don't waste the opening. "What good is all his money when his fiancee can't even show up on a day this important? She clearly doesn't take him seriously." "That's why Archer's the smart one. He landed himself Claire Donovan, of all people. Even her throwaway gifts start at seven figures." I'm about to fire back when the familiar name stops me cold. My eyes lock onto the bracelet of dark wooden beads the butler carries in. It's identical to the one my fiancee just spent a fortune on a few days ago.

I was about to get married to millionaire Martin Diaz, heir to Diaz Enterprises, in the wedding of the summer. Now I was an Oxford graduate about to join the team of America’s favorite rock band as their personal assistant. I might not be able to hide from my family or now-ex-fiancé, but I could keep running. Joining Dirty J. on the final leg of their countrywide tour was definitely the best way to do that, even if I did have to have “two hair appointments,” “a manicure,” “a pedicure,” and “two pre-wedding facials to ward off a spot break out” in the last three weeks to apply for, phone interview, and subsequently talk to their current assistant to get this job. It was almost worth the mini-

I struck a finger at her. “I drove all the way down here for Tame Impala so I’m going to see Tame Impala. I don’t think you understand but Summer ends in ten days for me and the past few weeks have been hard as hell. My parents got divorced and my dad is marrying another woman who would probably scam him of his entire net worth. God I hate him so much, I hate everyone in the whole world but this man right behind me.”