The Actor's Contract
Charlotte’s nose wrinkles, lips parting like she’s about to protest in court — because really, who doesn’t like Disney princesses?
But she’s battling a losing case.
“Ariel gave up her voice for a man she’s never met, who, ironically, fell in love with the voice, not the girl. Sixteen and mute … now there’s a role model for you.”
Axel chokes on some spit. I nearly lose a finger cutting a tomato. I’m sure Charlotte is having a stroke. But River is on a roll.
“Aurora is even worse … slept through her entire plot. Literally. Like, she’s out cold the whole movie and then wakes up because some stranger walked into her castle and kissed her without permission? That’s a lawsuit, right there.”
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