Drunk Funnies Novels & Stories

I wonder if I will ever be delivered from the hell that I have to live everyday. My dad has been a drunk ever since my mother walked out on us. I was only five when I realized that my dad was not like other dads. I had to clean up his messes. There were time I could not even go to school because I did not have any clothes to wear that fit. I knew that if social services got involved my dad would be angry and take it out on me. Things got worse when my dad became involved with the mafia. It was a way to work off his gambling debts. I was worried that one night he would not come home because he had gotten into deep with the mafia. That fear became a reality when my dad walked in with Joseph Rossi, the largest mafia boss in the state. “Selena, pack your things, you are going to be living with Mr. Rossi from now on.” I did not understand what was going on. “Why dad? I do not understand why I am going to live with him.” Mr. Rossi cleared his throat “You are going to live with me now because I own you. Your dad traded you to me to pay off his gambling debts.” I tried not to cry but I could not stop the tears - my dad sold me; I am now officially in hell.

"Real men don’t fall in love. Love is for the weak and foolish, and I, Don Alessandro, will never raise a fool as a son." Kai Alessandro learned those words the hard way. Groomed by his father to be the mafia leader, Kai’s life is built on power, fear, and control. Love? That’s a weakness he can’t af-ford. Amelia Carrington is all about survival. By day, she’s a college senior juggling classes. By night, she’s a hacker-for-hire and part-time stripper, desperate to pay her mother’s medical bills. Men? They’re just wallets waiting to be emptied. Their worlds collide when Amelia hacks into Kai’s account, stealing $5,000,000 to save her mother’s life. Kai hunts her down, and instead of exacting revenge, he gives her an offer: work for him to repay the debt or face a fate worse than death. The agreement was to keep things strictly professional; work only. But they eventually had a one-night stand which was supposed to be a mistake since they were both drunk, what was a mistake eventually turned into an regular affair, blurring the lines between their hatred and a passion neither of them could control. Romantic feelings begin to intertwine with their shared hatred, feelings that they both weren't ready to admit to. But what happens when Amelia eventually realizes that she was pregnant for kai Alessandro, one of the most dangerous gang leader in the world and a man who was supposed to be her enemy?

I gave my heart to a stranger on the worst night of my life. After six years of sacrifice, I was betrayed by my boyfriend proposed to my best friend on our graduation day. An orphan who worked tirelessly to put us through college, I was left with nothing but heartbreak and shame. Drunk, broken, and desperate to forget, I spent one reckless night with a stranger. By morning, he was gone. A month later, I discovered I was pregnant. Eight months later, he returned—not with love, but cruelty. He took my baby from my arms and called me a disgrace. I lost everything. Even my memories. Eight years later, broke and struggling to survive, I applied for a job as a nanny. The moment the door opens, my world shatters. He stands there—richer, colder, more powerful. The man from that night. The father of my child. He knows exactly who I am. He knows the little boy clinging to him is my son. But I don't remember him. I don't remember the child I lost. Now I live under his roof, care for the son I unknowingly gave birth to, and work in the shadow of the man who destroyed my life. As my memories slowly return, so does my strength. And this time, I won't be the one left broken. Because the past isn't done with us yet… And neither is my revenge.

"Sophie Patterson. Don't you dare walk away from me." Logan's menacing stare bore at me. I suddenly didn't feel drunk anymore. I sobered up quickly. "What, Logan? You're gonna tell me that you suddenly love me again? That you're here to sweep me off my feet? Please! I didn't need you all this time, and I don't need you now." He clenched his jaw, fisting his hands. "Enough. Stop being so damn stubborn. You know I do. I love you. I never stopped loving you, Sophie. It was always you." I left my hometown hoping to never see him again. I left with his baby still inside of me. Seven years after, and here I am again. Standing before him and a six-year-old wanting to know who his dad is, and asking me to marry him because everyone in his class but him and his best friend don't have a daddy.What am I supposed to do with all these feelings that are resurfacing? I'm realizing every day that I never got over him. I merely suppressed my feelings, and him telling me this now- in my face, just made things more complicated.

BLURB: Sofia, a 25-year-old girl, was deeply in love with Miguel. They dated for five years, and Miguel decided to marry her. On the day of their wedding, the situation changed, and the occasion took another heartbroken dimension. Miguel, Sofia's fiancé, was caught red-handed entangling with Linda, a bosom friend of Sofia, right inside the restroom in the event hall. Sofia angrily left the venue heart broken. She went and got herself drunk just to appease her shattered heart. To numb her pain of betrayal, she became pregnant, which was a result of her one-night stand with a stranger, Donal, the CEO of Ocean Group of Companies. Lily, Sofia's mother, fell sick as a result of the shock, betrayal, and shame she witnessed. Worse still, her medical bills became challenging. Sofia, unable to foot her medical bills, decided to sell the minibus of their late father. Since her salary couldn't help out. Lizzy, her younger sister, objected to it. She was never in support of her selling any of their late father's property. The only option left to raise money for their mom's medical bills is to apply for a loan from a Bank. ETC BANK is the only bank that can offer such a loan. And Linda, her bosom friend, is working as a head in the department responsible for loans. And Sofia has vowed never to set her eyes on Linda again. How will Sofia sort herself out from this horn of a dilemma?

After getting drunk, my husband’s childhood sweetheart drove and ran over my seventy-year-old mother, crushing her into a mangled corpse. She died on the spot. However, my CEO husband, Jason, insisted on signing a settlement on her behalf. “My mother-in-law was committing insurance fraud. She deliberately lay under the tires. She should bear full responsibility.” Not only did he get his childhood sweetheart, Olivia, cleared of all charges, but he also transferred the 10,000,000-dollar insurance payout from my mother to her as emotional damages. “Olivia and I grew up together. I cannot just watch her go to prison and ruin her life. Be reasonable and stop making a fuss.” After leaving the police station, Olivia made a post on social media. [Jason standing up for me was so amazing. Childhood sweethearts really are forever family!] Jason liked her post right in front of me. I remained terrifyingly calm. “Jason, let us get a divorce.” He scoffed. “You’re just saying that to make me comfort you, right? Megan, you are 30 years old. Can you stop being childish?” I had brought up divorce countless times, and he never believed I would truly leave. What he did not know was that among the case documents he had just signed, there was a divorce agreement. He had already signed it himself.

She was afraid to fall in love. He never lowered the walls of his heart, afraid to face betrayal. Both were busy chasing away the demons of their sleepless nights not knowing when their lives entangled and they crashed into each other, seeking solace from the treacherous world. Valerie Ambrose bumped into Damon Lysander at a downtown club. Eyes met, sparks flew, heat rose, and they ended up having a one-night stand. _ "I don't have cash on me. I forgot my wallet." He slurred, his crystal blue eyes bloodshot red as he stared directly into my eyes, for a moment I thought he was sober, but then he leaned in and whispered in my ear, his breath fanning my neck. "Now are you still interested?" Although the music was blasting through the speakers, but I caught up on his hidden implication. I shook my head in exhaustion "You're drunk Damon. Come I will drop you home." "I don't want to go back there. It hurts Val." He mumbled dryly, but his moist eyes said it all, and I couldn't help but pity him. When I failed to respond he pressed his lips to the side of my neck and inhaled deeply. "Please don't leave me alone." He was barely audible and looked like a mess, a beautiful mess. "I can't bear this anymore." And with that said, he pressed his lips to mine.

"It's the third time this week that I'm donating my blood to this strange lady that you never seem to take your eyes off of, even with me in the room!" Emily had paused very strand of fear she had for Liam as she yelled tearfully. Liam was her husband but the four years of their marriage were like four decades of unending torture and misery. She was completely in love with him but Liam detested her in turn, he married her only to inherit the family's multi-billion dollar business and once he's gotten that, tossed her away. Emily, despite living under his shadows for several years, believed that he would one day learn to love her as his wife but her hopes were shattered when Liam repeatedly demanded for her blood for his sick mistress. She could handle being maltreated but not cheated on, and drained of blood to the point of death. Emily demanded for divorce and he happily granted her wish but unknown to him, she was pregnant which was an outcome of a drunk night. ** No parents, no home, no money, Emily hoped for death but was miraculously rescued by a stranger. She returns to the country a few years later with her child who is the direct copy of Liam. "Boss, your ex-wife is back, and she seems to be married with a child who looks exactly like you," "They are both mine, and I will fight for what's mine!"

After the plane crash, I rejected the captain—my brother-in-law’s—final life jacket that he had as he handed it to me. Instead, I allowed myself to plunge a hundred meters from the sky. In my previous life, I had survived after accepting his life jacket. But he died a tragic death in the crash. After his death, I was consumed with guilt. My husband proposed to take care of two households at the same time so that he could look after his sister-in-law. Out of guilt, I reluctantly agreed to his proposal. I even had to give up my only chance of getting promoted to department head of the hospital to my sister-in-law, upon my husband’s insistence. When I was seventy years old, I suddenly saw my brother-in-law, who was supposed to be dead, show up in front of me. He said to my husband, “Bro, thank goodness you came up with that fake-death plan back then. I was drunk and caused the deaths of all the passengers after the plane crash. If not for that plan of yours, as the captain, I certainly could not have escaped scot-free and would have been sentenced to prison for life! “It was too bad we had to keep her in the dark for her entire life.” After a lifetime of sacrifices, I was so furious that I nearly passed out upon hearing my brother-in-law’s words. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the day of the plane crash.

My fiancee gets drunk the day before our wedding. While I'm taking her home, she mistakes me for my best friend. "Jackson, don't bring our child to the wedding tomorrow. I don't want Samuel to know about us." I slam on the brakes, causing Madelyn Wilkinson to hit the seatback and come to her senses. When she realizes it's me, she freezes for a moment before slowly explaining, "Since you heard that, let's call off the wedding for now. You don't have to worry. Jackson doesn't plan on getting married again. But I'm still that child's mother no matter what, so I need to help out. "Jackson's your best friend. You feel sorry for him if he has to raise a child alone, don't you? I'll marry you after my son starts school." I can't help smiling bitterly. "Alright then… I don't have a problem with that." When we get home, she packs up a suitcase and leaves without another word. Feeling a sting in my eyes, I suppress my emotions as I sit on the couch, falling into a daze. That's when my phone rings at the worst possible moment. My childhood friend, Hazel Parsons, says in a hoarse voice, "Sam, don't marry her. Please." I fall silent for a beat. "Alright."