Drunk Funnies Novels & Stories

BOOK 1&2- Completed One night, one life-changing decision, and so they say, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." Yet it was nothing but a stupid mistake. She awakens in an unknown suite, naked with a hot stranger in bed with a wedding ring on her fingers. But being confused was nothing compared to the fact that he was Shawn Richmond, the famous CEO-billionaire playboy. To make matters worse, he left her gaping and still naked. However, she didn't have a plan to see him, but fate wasn't done with her yet. In London, she saw him in the bar after getting herself drunk when she discovered her fiance was cheating on her and took all their life savings. Then, with sheer luck, Mr. Richmond offered her a job as her secretary in exchange for keeping their accidental marriage secret. How hard could it be? But being married to his boss wasn't always rainbows and sunshine; it was full of tears, betrayals, heartache, and when her life shifted from boring to running for her life, plus some Russian mobs, treasure hunters, and religious zealots after them for the rumored treasure left by Shawn's grandfather, their lives spiraled into a mess. Could his love save her? Or broke her even more?  BOOK 2- The Accidental Past (Completed)

Caius Vannister, despite his reputation as one of the most eligible bachelors of the country, was a one-woman-man kind of guy. He had imposed strict rules upon himself, and that is to be loyal to just one woman. He laid no woman in his bed for years, which is why he knew he was in trouble when he felt the heat and the beast awakened at the sight of the drunk Murphy who one night, accidentally barged on his VIP room. Having tasted the sweet scent and pleasure he didn't know existed, he desperately searched for the lady, who fortunately left her business card, the morning he woke up alone. Realizing that the lady was closely acquainted with his cousin, Casper and his wife, a playful smirk was painted on his lips. "Architect Murphy Jayden…you're mine…” As Murphy tried to shoo him away, he was adamant to claim the lips, the body, and the heart of the lady who, from the start, stole his. Caius vowed to know everything about her to plan his next steps, that his vast connection was put to the test when he found no single information about her, apart from what he knew from Casper. Pondering about it for far too long, he could only utter one thing... "Who are you truly, milady?”

Twenty seven year old trust fund baby Sawyer Driscoll has way too much time on her hands, and even she knows it. Emotionally scarred with crippling abandonment issues, she finds solace in whimsical Kate Lovelace's comforting presence– the breathtaking lifeguard two years her junior who heroically rescued her from nearly drowning while drunk at Naples beach. At around the same time, she becomes drawn to mysterious Blythe Collier– an aspiring Conductor in her early thirties dead set on fulfilling her longtime dream of working with world renowned Orchestras. After meeting at a local Lesbian nightclub roughly three weeks later, the two hit it off immediately with their mutual love for body shots and the fine art of instrumental music. Her only issue? She's already heavily involved with Kate. The solution to crafty Sawyer's dilemma is simple; Date them both. What could go wrong? Assuming they don't catch on to the idea that their charming girlfriend wants to have her cake and eat it too, that is. Two's company, three's a crowd; Everyone says so, right? ...But does it have to be? *Disclaimer* - Strong sexual content, difficult mental health topics, and discussions of death, self harm, and suicide. 18+, please 2020 All Rights Reserved (you know how it goes)

Age is just a number. Or at least that's what Maxwell Cooper thinks whenever he hits on his best friend's mother, Amanda, who is very much divorced and extremely attractive in his eyes. Amanda, highly aware of the obvious infatuation that Maxwell has on her, tries to avoid his advances towards her given their conflicting age differences. She speculates that Maxwell's attraction towards older women is deeply rooted to fact that he might just have some 'Mommy issues'. Maxwell refutes the hypothesis by claiming that he's only attracted to her , not older women in general. Both are put to the test when Amanda , returning from yet another failed date one night, runs into Maxwell who notices the tears in her eyes and proceeds to comfort her. This leads to her inviting her to her house which would be a convenient move seeing as Zac, Maxwell's best friend and Amanda's son, had gone to visit his father in New York for the weekend, leaving her alone for the weekend. They end up sharing a bottle of wine, getting drunk while reminiscing on the simpler days. A kiss is shared during the vulnerable moment between these two, which would lead to regrets and broken friendships.

Pain, Sadness, loneliness. That's exactly what defined Avyanna Roosevelt's life. Every time she would change her pack, people would bully her for her unethical birth origins. She was weak, well at least for the world, who didn't know what she was. Her mother hated her, because, for her, she was a bastard child, the result of a drunk one night stand. Life was cruel to her, but she was a survivor, and the only thing she wanted was to complete her education and live among humans. However, all her plans came crashing when her grandmother died and she was asked to move into her mother's new husband's home, in the Enceladus pack, the strongest pack in the world. She had thought she would meet the coldest and cruellest alpha, worsening her life even more, but what she didn't expect was to meet an extremely caring and overprotective man, her stepbrother. She thought she would leave in peace after completing her education, until one day her brother came to her and spoke. "In this world, you are mine to protect, mine to care for, and only mine to love. I won't think twice to rip out the heart that will try to beat for you," he growled before biting her neck.

The first time I found out that Jessica Blake was cheating on me was in our own bedroom. I was young and hot-headed, and I wanted a divorce on the spot. She cried and said she'd gotten drunk and mistaken the guy for me. She fell to her knees, begging me to forgive her. "If you divorce me, I'll jump from this window right now." That one line softened my heart for the next five years. During those years, she was gentle and caring, as if that night had never happened. Everyone could see it—Jessica loved me so much she was willing to die for me. But then came her mother's 60th birthday party. Out of nowhere, my mother-in-law, Linda, asked her, "Jess, where's my grandson? Why didn't he come?" I was confused. I thought she was just having a moment, so I smiled and said, "Mom, you forgot—Jess's due date is still two months away." Linda glanced at me calmly and murmured, "Oh… so you still don't know." My heart sank. I looked over at Jessica instinctively. She quietly put down her fork, as if she were talking about something as ordinary as the weather. "Actually, I have a son. He's five years old."

Keep your legs open, baby. That’s it… eyes on me.” One had his hand around my throat. Another had his mouth between my thighs. The third… God help me, he was the one who whispered the filth that made me forget my name. Three of them. All at once. Tearing me apart like I belonged to them. And the truth is—I did. Because I gave them my body the night I lost everything else. The night I got fired. The night my boyfriend left me for my best friend. The night I nearly ended it all. But I’d been kind to a stranger once. Gave him my umbrella in the rain. Smiled at him even when my world was falling apart. That man? He found me drunk and desperate on the edge of ruin… and offered me something darker than a second chance. To be theirs. All three of theirs. Not a girlfriend. Not a wife. A plaything. A prize. A pet. Now I wake up in silk sheets. I don’t work. I don’t pay bills. I only exist to please them. And Daddy doesn’t like when I cry. He likes when I beg.

The boy, George Larson, whom I once saved as a child, when he was struggling with asthma, repaid my kindness by imprisoning me for seven long years. "Luna, you're my everything. I won’t let you out of my sight," he said, his voice filled with obsession. He tied my hands and feet, keeping me bound to the bed like a helpless doll, but I did not love him; I wanted to escape. In his madness, he set fire to my family’s ancestral home. The last traces of the Sachs burned to ashes, disappearing into the wind. He said that since my home was gone, I could just live with him and that it would be my new home. However, because I refused to let him touch me, he found someone else—a girl with a beauty mark under her eye, just like mine. The girl, drunk on his affection, thought I was trying to imitate her by faking the same tear-shaped mark. In a fit of jealousy, she gouged out my eyes. My face was covered with tiny, bleeding holes, blood streaming down my body. When George came home, the girl gleefully stuffed me into a trash bag, proud of her handiwork. “George, look! I caught some trash that broke into the house!” George did not even glance at me. He just loosened his tie, his voice calm and detached. “Just toss it where trash belongs.”

After ten years together, Aiden, my Alpha, my first and only love, finally promised to hold the mating ceremony with me during the Spring Hunt Festival. I was overjoyed. That night, at the festival party, I downed a few extra glasses of wine. However, Aiden, who had always been so gentle with me, suddenly became someone I didn't recognize. He scolded me, said I was unfit to be the future Luna if I couldn’t even follow the rules, and shoved me out of the car. Drunk and dazed, I was left alone in the dangerous Shadow Forest. Terrified but unwilling to break, I walked through that forest for five hours in the dead of night. When I finally made it back to our home, I heard him in the other room, sending a voice message to Seraphina, his first love. "If you’re willing to come back," he said, his voice soft and warm, "I’ll do anything for you." Seraphina replied, "Even cancel the mating ceremony?" Time stopped. I silently counted to thirteen. Then, I heard his answer: "Yes." Listening to that voice—the one that used to whisper promises to me—I cried. If that was what he truly wanted, then maybe calling off the ceremony was for the best. So, to spare him the choice, I fled. On the day of our mating ceremony, I disappeared. No one expected what came next. The proud, composed Alpha Aiden went mad trying to find me.

"Real men don’t fall in love. Love is for the weak and foolish, and I, Don Alessandro, will never raise a fool as a son." Kai Alessandro learned those words the hard way. Groomed by his father to be the mafia leader, Kai’s life is built on power, fear, and control. Love? That’s a weakness he can’t af-ford. Amelia Carrington is all about survival. By day, she’s a college senior juggling classes. By night, she’s a hacker-for-hire and part-time stripper, desperate to pay her mother’s medical bills. Men? They’re just wallets waiting to be emptied. Their worlds collide when Amelia hacks into Kai’s account, stealing $5,000,000 to save her mother’s life. Kai hunts her down, and instead of exacting revenge, he gives her an offer: work for him to repay the debt or face a fate worse than death. The agreement was to keep things strictly professional; work only. But they eventually had a one-night stand which was supposed to be a mistake since they were both drunk, what was a mistake eventually turned into an regular affair, blurring the lines between their hatred and a passion neither of them could control. Romantic feelings begin to intertwine with their shared hatred, feelings that they both weren't ready to admit to. But what happens when Amelia eventually realizes that she was pregnant for kai Alessandro, one of the most dangerous gang leader in the world and a man who was supposed to be her enemy?