Drunk Funnies Novels & Stories

’’ Adamie clasped his palms together. ‘‘I’m definitely getting the booze!’’ Andy said. ‘‘Drunk mofo,’’ Adamie replied, ‘‘Y’all remember that time Andy’ got so drunk at Brian’s party then he puked on the buff DJ and got his ass beat?’’ All of them apart from Andy burst into laughter. ‘‘Well, I’m better than fat Robert who passed out after taking two Oxycontine pills then got a dick drawn on his plumpy cheeks.’’ Andy defended.

said by Xenon so I was just forced to agree. I thought I could drink beer but I just ended up with juice. I just sang a few songs to entertain myself. I just ate snacks and drowned in the juice. While the couple who was with us were completely drunk and were also having some weird dance moves. They can no longer speak well.

And fvck my life. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * // Note For The Readers (especially the young, teenage, nerdy or / and horny ones): Dr*gs and alc*hol are bad, work hard but play harder. Study now so you can coast through college and get a job that leaves ya bankin, eat your vegetables and practice abstinence.

She started to say “Hey it’s okay. Forget it. Let’s just do the drunk baby giraffe.” He continued with a smile. The goofiness continued long into the night. Eventually Melissa needed to sit down. Taking a booth they sat with drinks Melissa drinking beer, Brock drinking water. “You know Brock.” Melissa was slurring her words “You’re a good fiend.” “A fiend? Oh you mean friend.” Brock corrected. “Thas wut I zed. Fiend.” Melissa slurred

I was having drinks at a friend’s house, and several of his other friends were there. They’re all straight (supposedly lol). We started getting kinda drunk, and my friend cracked a joke about me being gay. It’s totally fine, we joke about that stuff all the time.

His eyes drag over me like I’m a meal he ordered, paid for, and expects to be served immediately. “We got a table,” he slurs. “We got drinks. I can make you laugh, promise. Want a joke?” He squints, trying to focus, then jabs a thumb behind him. “My boys said I’m the funniest one in the pack, swear. Especially that idiot—” he points at one of them—“he laughs at anything. Once choked on air, I swear to the gods.” My eyes flick to the VIP section where his group of overgrown toddlers sits—loud, half-drunk, whistling at me like I’m a performing animal on stage.

Yeah, she’s way past drunk. Devon starts laughing and doesn’t stop until he nearly out of his chair. This has to be the least funny thing to happen in a long time. We’re all drunk and most of what has been said here today is going to be disregarded tomorrow, so there’s no use in taking any of it seriously.

And fvck my life. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * // Note For The Readers (especially the young, teenage, nerdy or / and horny ones): Dr*gs and alc*hol are bad, work hard but play harder. Study now so you can coast through college and get a job that leaves ya bankin, eat your vegetables and practice abstinence.

The game started, it was just a simple game where we ask ourselves questions and anyone that is not smart enough to answer it quickly will gulp down a cup of beer. Fifteen minutes passed and Ann kept failing each question that was directed at her, that girl just an empty head. The only thing she knows well is guys who fuck well and huge dicks. She has failed five questions and has taken five cups of beer already,I can see she is getting drunk already. I have only failed two questions and have just taken two cups of beer but I was already feeling so tipsy. Tyler didn't participate and was just busy asking us random questions. If he participates and the three of us get drunk, who would help ea

Yuri nodded his head now that he was completely drunk. Soon the small shop was filled with drunk laughter causing the other customers to give them a weird glances. Some were irritated at them as they muttered among themselves. ‘Such useless teenagers…wasting away time drinking like mugs and thugs.’ A drunk man exclaimed in a loud voice. “Hey uncle don’t think you are spouting non-sense???” Elaine got up and directly pointed her fingers at a middle aged man. She was really not afraid of anything. “You are also drinking and having fun so what/s wrong with us doing same huh?” She acted like a real punk but what she said was truth.