Dumb Funny Things Novels & Stories

"Can you cut your crap and stop whining?" A growl from the back of the kink shop can be heard, passer-bys try not to look at the slender woman who stood quivering infront of her seemingly annoyed husband. "Hun, may I ask why we're here-","-Well one of the reasons is you're a bore" The atmosphere felt tight, heavy even. Snickering can be heard from afar and abit of chatter that can be obvious the topic is about them: sexually frustrated husband dragging his wife in a kink and lingerie shop. "Here-" The man took a garment from the rack that looked to be of a school uniform. It had a tiny crop top and a skirt that was as small as a belt. "-wear it or so help me, you will walk home"

Roger traveled across Terra, but not completely. The soul is inexplicably locked in a long-broken idol outside the civilized world of Terra. If you want to condense the body and obtain yourself, you must constantly obtain the power of prayer. But the statue is in no man’s land! Not even a person, let alone the power to pray. Roger had no choice but to disperse his consciousness into many items, scattered around the world, and acquired by many Terran girls. In order to condense the physical body, in order to stick to the girls. Roger inexplicably became their 'cheat codes'... Jessica: "Mr. Roger, will you always be by my side?" "Ah, yes, yes." Sora: "Mr. Roger, can you be my agent forever?" "Ok, Ok..." Roger didn't know how many times he had made this promise. Until the girls met...

Sample: ' “Motherfucking dog is what he is , damn it” she chugged her drink down . She pointed her unsteady hand at her two best friends who were watching the show unfold . “ All men are the same . HEARTLESS CHEATING BASTARDS . Do you hear me? Heartless cheating bastards ” Casey screamed at the men sitting on a nearby table. “Yes, that's what you all are . Cheaters . Bloodsucking vampires, you use women like chewing gum and spit them out after you use them”. She placed her glass with a loud bang , almost falling off the table. She joined her hands while looking up at the ceiling, blinking . “If someone up there is listening, I wish all these men would suffer from crabs so bad , they would scratch it so hard that their dicks will fall off ”. She looked down and pointed a finger at them. “This is my curse on your species ”. She turned back to her friends leaving behind a group of mortified men with wide eyes who were left there holding their junks in fear . ' Casey has always been a hopeless romantic, searching for the one person who will finally return her love. Owen, on the surface, has it all—wealth, fame, and an endless stream of admirers. Yet despite his many conquests, he shuns commitment, refusing to be tied to anyone. When a scandal threatens his reputation, Owen concocts a plan: a fake engagement to Casey, In return, he promises to help her win a man. It soon grows complicated.Owen finds himself unexpectedly drawn to Casey but just when love seems within reach, Owen's past returns—his ex, stirring old emotions and doubts. What happened next read in my book ‘Mr Wrong'

Sydney Soriano is a daughter that every parent would dream to be their child — responsible, caring, intelligent, kind, and everything you can ask for. Her carefree life ended after an incident that changes her life forever. Her mom suffered from a stroke, which puts Sydney in a complex situation that leads her to drop out of school and take all the responsibilities as the eldest sibling. Then she met Tycen in an online dating app called “Tinder," they spent 3 months talking through the app until they decided to exchange Facebook accounts. He helped her adjust to her new life, persuade her to go back to school, and pursue her passion which is writing, but Sydney didn’t know that she would fall for him, and little by little, Tycen fall for someone else. The time she was ready to confess her feelings for Tycen, Tycen introduced his new girl. She decided not to confess and root for his happiness and cut ties with him. Months passed she met Hade — the desperate rich ghost beside her bookshelf. He proposes a good deal with Sydney and will do everything to repay her kindness if she helps him return to his body. As she begins her investigation about Hade together with Jarred. Everything seems to bring her back to Tycen. She unveiled a story that throws everything she believed into question. And now Sydney is ready to face everything without running away. She's ready to take risks to see wherever it leads her.

Olivia Simon lost her twin brother, Oliver in a ghastly car accident. Down with heartbreak and loneliness, she ran away from home to her aunt Grace's in Australia. Crying and missing her brother, she decided to become him to ease her pain. Kane Boron, the heir to the MavinTech, known to be cold and arrogant but indeed was looking for a friend happens to hit off with a new guy on his 28 birthday party and they became best of friends. What happens when Olivia notice she was in love with her best friend, how is she going to tell him without him being angry that she deceived him? How is Kane going to cope when he noticed that he was attracted to his friend and really wants to kiss him? What happens to his preference? Is he turning gay? He found himself in a big dilemma with no how to escape.

Aaron Morris had it all. Good looks, a beautiful girlfriend, good grades in college. He only had one problem. He was being stalked by a red-haired nightmare otherwise known as Bella Davis! She was the bane of his existence, a thorn on his side who won't leave him alone no matter what. Will he ever get rid of her or will she continue to annoy him with her unrequited love?*This is the spin-off of The Ugly One but can be read as a stand alone novel. However, I recommended you read that one first :)*

Gwen is a rogue who hates pack wolves. After her parents were brutally murdered by their pack for a crime they did not commit, Gwen has had nothing but hatred in her heart. On a night hunt, Gwen encounters the legendary rogue killer, Alpha Liam. A man who hates rogues with every fibre of his being. However, the moon goddess likes to play funny games. Liam and Gwen are mates. But this bond does not stop their hatred for each other. Liam takes her back to his pack, unable to leave her but hateful of her existence. He offers Gwen a deal. They would be mated for as long as it took for her to produce an heir. The rogue and alpha are dancing on the thin line between lust, love and hate. Can they pretend for long?

A security guard caught a snake in our apartment complex and delivered it straight to my door. I was just about to scream when floating comments cut in. [The male lead got dumped and turned back into his real form just to spy on his girlfriend, and he actually got caught? This is funny as hell!] [He got dumped, and his girlfriend hates him. He's probably gonna cry himself to sleep!] [Aww, poor little snake can't curl up on his girlfriend tonight.] The big black snake looked pitiful in the guard's hands. It secretly sized me up with its slit pupils. I tried holding out my hand, and the black snake stared in disbelief. Two seconds later, it obediently rubbed its head against my fingers.

The darkness in his eyes, the dangerous smell of in his breath, and his deathly grip keeping me bound to him made my heart pound in my chest and my body quiver beneath him. Shamefully, it wasn't anything that I wasn't used to, because…the things I let him do to me? When he was frustrated, annoyed, and angry at the world, I was here to be his pound of flesh. In return, he masked the void of my loneliness because for months, that was the transaction of our relationship. He'd pin me to the wall, bend me over the counter, pull my hair, slap me, choke me, and I enjoyed every second of it because in that moment, it finally felt good to be powerless. Irony is a funny thing. I enjoyed being in pain because it made me forget how much I was hurting. *** "I warned you, doll." His voice strikes a string of chills down the base of my spine, a reminder that all of the time in the world could pass, and he's still not letting go. This is where the good girl in me dies. "You're mine now," he whispers. *** My name is Mercy—Mercy Carter. I went to college. Got myself a useless Bachelor of Science in Mathematics degree. His name is Marcel—Marcello Saldívar. However, at the time, I didn't know that he, the heir to the Saldívar Mafia empire, was the man that I had blindly offered myself to. As smart as I am, I was stupid all the times when it actually mattered. After all, he did warn me he was dangerous. I just didn't think he could be much worse than my thug brother. I was vulnerable—naive. I belong to him. My name is Mercy, and I am the Mafia's Mercy.

How can a young, cute man have bad intentions? He just wants to "warm your bed". Open it and experience a whirlwind romance. “I Slept With My Ex-boyfriend's Uncle” When I was drunk, I went to see my ex-boyfriend and tried to get back with him. But when I woke up, I found his uncle lying beside me. “A Brave Jump to My Crush” A love story between an aloof Prince Charming and a funny underachieving girl。 I had been in love with him for many years, and I finally went after him. On the night of our classmate reunion, I pretended to be drunk. I took his clothes off and tried to sleep with him. But I regretted it halfway through.