Dumb Funny Things Novelas e Histórias

“I killed his secret lover.” “Does he know?” “Yes, but he pretends not to know it in front of me.” A gun shot sounded outside the mansion and Alvah didn't bother to check. “What is going on?” Alvah chuckled, a smile spread across her face, “My husband. He's here to kill me.”

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

"Hey mister, can I ask you for a favor?" A lady asked with her sweet and intoxicating voice, causing the man who was walking, to turn around and stare at the young lady. "Can you be my boyfriend for just one month, and I promise to pay you handsomely." Cecelia said smiling. **** Cecelia is an upcoming actress. Her parents had threatened to choose a suitor for her if she didn't hasten her steps and find one for herself... Edward is a founder of Charles diamond company who agreed to be Cecelia's fake boyfriend for a month not because he feels like, but because his parents were also planning on looking for a lady for him. Edward has had a traumatic experience during his childhood, which causes him to shut his mouth, as he goes through different attacks, unaware that it would lead to him being unable to talk. When their plans start to unravel will Cecelia fall in with her parents' plans? When feelings get involved will things still work out as they planned?

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

When a child mysteriously disappears from a small town and even his mother seems indifferent, it’s time for the new sheriff to step in. Meet Chris Baker, the new sheriff of the quiet Adirondack town of Clifton Heights. As one inexplicable case after another forces him to confront the townsfolk in The Skylark Diner, it’s the furtive Gavin Patchett that hands Chris a collection of not-so-fictional short stories that tumbles him into a world of monsters, ageless demons, and vengeful citizens. As Chris reads through the stories the veil starts to lift, and he soon questions what is real and what’s not, and whether he really wants to know. Nothing will ever be the same again. ©️ Crystal Lake Publishing

The things we want are so very rarely the things we need. Clifton Heights, a modest Adirondack town, offers many unique attractions. Arcane Delights sells both paperbacks and hard-to-find limited editions. The Skylark Diner serves the best home-cooked meals around, with friendly service and a smile. Every August, Mr. Jingo’s County Fair visits, to the delight of children and adults. In essence, Clifton Heights is the quintessential small American town. Everyone knows everyone else, and everyone is treated like family. It is quiet, simple, and peaceful. But shadows linger here. Flitting in dark corners, from the corner of the eye. If you walk down Main Street after dark, the slight scrape of shoes on asphalt whispers you're not alone, but when you look over your shoulder, no one is there. The moon shines high and bright in the night sky, but instead of throwing light, it only seems to make the shadows lengthen. Children disappear. Teens run away. Hunters get lost in the woods with frightening regularity. Husbands go mad, and wives vanish in the dead of night. And still, when the sun rises in the morning, you are greeted by townspeople with warm waves and friendly smiles, and the shivers pass as everything seems fresh and new... Until night falls once more. Handy's Pawn and Thrift sits several blocks down from Arcane Delights. Like any thrift store, its wares range from the mundane to the bizarre. By daylight, it seems just another slice of small town Americana. But in its window hangs a sign which reads: We Have Things You Need. And when a lonely traveling salesman comes looking for something he desperately wants, after normal visiting hours, after night has fallen, he will face a harsh truth among the shelves of Handy’s Pawn and Thrift: the things we want are rarely the things we need. ©️ Crystal Lake Publishing

Autumn Shade only wants one thing: to get away and live her own life. Tired of being forced by her father to take on the business, and follow in his steps, she leaves. She wanted to show her father that she was capable of making her own decisions and not screwing up. But just when she successfully leaves, she's caught up in another whirlwind which threatens to deem everything she'd known a lie.Justin Black and his friends see Autumn and they find that she was perfect for what they were planning, given that it was her father they wanted to take revenge on.Autumn learns a shocking truth about a scandal involving a murder and her father, and persistently denies it. But apparently they have proof.All Autumn wants to do is the right thing. If her father is innocent she gets to say 'I told you so' and if he's really a cheating murderer then she does what's right and gets out of this mess once and for all.But as usual, things get complicated. Actually, feelings get complicated, because the longer she stayed, the closer the broken boy held her.© 2020 by Everleigh Winters

After regaining my hearing, I happily march over to the room of my arch-rival, eager to flaunt in front of him—only to hear him moaning my name as he does what all guys do for pleasure.

Jace Griffin was my childhood friend. One of us was a total slacker, and the other was a real troublemaker. The year we were at the peak of our bragging, I said that I would get second place in the exam, and he said he would get first. The results came out. I scored 20 points, and he scored 10 points. Later, I said that I was going to sleep twelve hours a day to make up for it, and he said that he could sleep a full twenty-four hours. In the end, we both spent the night at an internet cafe and stayed until morning. Then, I said that I was going to confess to someone. His eyes flickered. But his thought suddenly came into my mind, “If I accept her confession and stop her from studying, then Winnie’s spot in Harrington University will be secured!” He opened his mouth and was about to say “I do.” But I turned around smoothly and hugged a stray dog that happened to walk past. “Doggy. From now on, you’re my only one.” Jace’s handsome face twisted in anger right away. “Xena, you would rather choose a dog than me?” I rolled my eyes before smiling brightly. Choose him? What was the point of choosing him? Could he even earn me money? I already had a guaranteed admission to Harrington University. I just wanted to raise dogs. I did not have time for a loser like him.

After I join a new company, I keep running into problems—not from people, but from the company's equipment. The fingerprint scanner fails to recognize me every single time, and I have to submit a manual attendance appeal almost daily. When I ask the admin to change the device, they respond with thinly veiled sarcasm. "Everyone else clocks in just fine. Why are you the only one with so many issues?" The air vent above my desk blasts cold air directly at me. My hands and feet are freezing every day. I ask to switch seats. My manager looks at me like I am making things up. "Everyone else sits there without a problem. How come the AC only blows cold air when you sit there?" One strange incident after another makes it impossible for me to function at work. When I get home, I complain to my boyfriend and say I want to quit. He shuts down the thought immediately. "You're making almost 60 thousand dollars a year before benefits, with weekends off and paid leave. Where are you going to find a job like that?" I think about it and realize he isn't wrong. Just as I decide to stick it out, the company elevator malfunctions. I fall from the 33rd floor and die. In my final moments, I can't understand it—why does every piece of equipment in the company seem to target me alone? All the devices are newly installed. All my coworkers are people I have just met. I have no grudges with anyone. There's no reason for someone to sabotage me from behind the scenes. When I open my eyes again, I am back at the company. It's my very first day on the job.