Dumb Funny Things Novels & Stories

My parents made Dana and me settle it with rock-paper-scissors. Loser had to marry the Baillieu heir—the so-called "freak." I won. Then flipped the script. "Cool. I'll take Blake. Dana can have the empire." Last time? I was dumb in love with Michael—Dad's adopted golden boy. Chose the company, stayed behind, and handed Dana off to Blake Baillieu. Big mistake. Six months in, Dana was gone—wrecked by that marriage. Right before she croaked, she texted Michael blaming me. Said I lost the game and ditched the deal, dumping Blake on her. Michael? Snapped. Dude went full psycho. Turns out, he and Dana had been sneaking around for years. He dragged me behind the Baillieu estate and forced a dozen intellectually disabled men to assault me. "If it weren't for your cruelty, Dana would still be alive! You'll pay for everything she suffered!" I was over eight months pregnant—almost due. Begged him to stop. Begged for my baby's life. He didn't care. Kept ordering them to take turns. Even when my water broke, he just watched. Both my baby and I died that night. Now? I'm back. And this time, I rewrote the story. Step one: marry Blake.

“Why do you suddenly want out of this marriage? Who the fuck are you screwing, you dumb bitch?!” “I'm not screw-” I tried to explain, but he was already on me and I screamed as he dragged me up by my neck, his hand so tight on my throat I couldn’t breathe. “Who is it?!” he growled. “Who the fuck would dare!” ---- In a world absent the mate bond, alliances were formed through blood, power, and betrayal rather than fate. Makena Blackwell was born into the mafia's lowest-ranking position, promised at birth to a powerful heir in exchange for her family's survival. She was ready to marry him. But he was ready to destroy her. On the night she was meant to die, however, something impossible happened. A man rose from the icy steel trays of her father’s morgue. He was a stranger, with no memory, no name, and no pulse. And when their gazes met, fate spoke the word they never expected to hear in their lifetime, echoing so loudly in their souls it shook the very fabric of their being. “Mate!” The man the world left for dead wasn’t just anyone; he was the dread every mafia house feared, and he was hers. She was promised to a prince of power… but fate gave her the king of the dead.

"Just join me for a drink perhaps?" Her bushy brows rose suggestively at me. She knew my answer, she knew what I'd say. I grabbed the bottle off her scrawny hands and said "You know, for a one time thing, this has become a regular." To be honest, I was actually looking forward to meeting up with her. Not that I was going to admit it to her face. "Like therapy sessions from two dumb, ill-favored kids. Who are trying to give each other easing words." She was right. Though her stumbled movements indicated a slight intoxication. Suddenly, out of the awkward moment, she looked up at me with a sad smile and said. "I might be a street girl but is it too bad to wish for a normal life? Go to proms? Have new clothes? Shelter? Love? Do I not deserve?" Her teary eyes searched deep into my soul. I was unaware of the lack of distance between us. When did we get so close with barely an inch barrier? "Flare..." that was all I could say because then all I could feel were soft lips against mine. Her lips! And it felt so nice. Subconsciously, I grabbed her little body and went for another kiss, this time, a deeper kiss.

My girlfriend suddenly told me she had six small beads implanted inside her, blushing as she said it was meant to please me. The next day, I made soup and brought it to her office. To my surprise, I saw her in the arms of my good friend, Henry Somerset. Henry wrapped his arm around her waist, his voice deep. "Baby, you're such a good girl. You really did the implantation as I told. My dumb friend even thought you did it for him. Do you reckon he'll lose his mind if he finds out you and I are getting married soon?" My girlfriend's voice turned cold. "This is nothing more than a marriage of convenience. I'm warning you not to let Chris find out." Henry chuckled and moved his hand downward. "Don't worry. As long as you keep me happy, I won't get Chris into trouble." After hearing all this behind the door, my entire body went cold. Clutching my phone tightly, I recalled my boss saying he would transfer me to a subsidiary company a few days ago. I no longer hesitated and sent him a text. [Boss, I'd like to be transferred to the subsidiary company in Hailborough City in three days.]

When heartbreak shatters her carefully planned life, Eniola Fayola does the unthinkable—she pours her pain into a diary and steps into the ruthless world of corporate real estate, determined to rebuild herself from the ground up. At Legacy Real Estate, ambition is currency, secrets are power, and loyalty is never guaranteed. As Eniola navigates office politics, whispered rumors, and relentless expectations, she catches the attention of a man she never planned to fall for—one whose authority could either protect her or ruin everything she’s worked for. Torn between her growing feelings and her hunger for success, Eniola must decide how much of herself she’s willing to sacrifice for love. But in a workplace where appearances deceive and every smile hides an agenda, trust is a dangerous gamble. Written as intimate diary entries, The Corporate Diary of Eniola Fayola is a gripping tale of love, ambition, resilience, and self-discovery—a story for those who dare to rise after heartbreak and for readers who crave romance wrapped in drama, realism, and emotional depth.

Every comet night, he comes. And when he does, lives will be lost- All for sustaining himself. ********** Earth is invaded by an Alien who crash lands on a comet night. He is stuck and needs his instrument to return home. 10 years later, he finally finds his instrument. But it has now become the life of a girl he ends up falling for..... And while she has something that the deadly Alien needs, She will have to become a tool used by the Handsome Detective in tracking down this Wanted Alien... And amid growing love, Contrary choices arise and enemies emerge from outer space. Now, love is like the wrong answer to the question - But let's tick it anyways...

What would you do if you knew there were bad people with shocking habits near the ones you love? The night of the holiday changes everything for Dianna Zandoval, a 19-year-old student from School. One moment, she is discussing with her incredible lover, Jacob Valdez; then next, watching with horror as bad people break their relationship with each other. She knows these people came from their past but she can't prove it - at least not without some unexpected feelings. The clumsy, joyful woman knows that her suspense life is over. She acquires some unexpected feelings and is reborn as the hero who will save the world from bad people. However, Dianna finds herself troubled by her suspense ideals and becomes overwhelmed with moral questions. Will her conscience allow her to do whatever is needed to stop the bad people from ruining their relationship?

When Myra is abducted as ransom for her mother's debt, she has to device a plan to escape the infamous Miguel Carvarlho even if it means aiding the enemy. But she soon learns that every betrayal comes with a cost. When the line between passion and rage blur she is torn between two choices. Family or Love...

There are a lot of supernatural beings around us that we didn't know they're actually living or true. Once they are just a myth, a fantasy, a mere story, but then one day, you didn't realize it was standing right in front of you now. Avis Clove, just like a normal people, we have a lot of questions about the existence of gods or deities. And sometimes those questions don't meet their answers. She grew up knowing the stories of her grandmother about a two gods and one girl who's in between of the gods, and she believes it was just fantasy story that is just made up by her grandma. But, then she met the characters in that story, and the questions in her mind starting to find its answers. In this novel, about the three people who is fated to meet each other, but leads to the most unwanted happenings of their life. What will they do? What will Avis Clove choose? Will the love wins? Who will be the end game?

Reese: I know all too well the sting of heartbreak and rejection. Not a lot of men can handle a woman of my stature. I only hope that love is out there. When I agreed to meet up with my Frost cousins and their kids for a Christmas event after another breakup, I didn't expect sparks to fly with their friend Don Hunter. Don: I was surprised to be invited by my coworker Darius Frost to join his family and friends at the holiday lights at the park. It's not like I have family in the area, and I'm self-aware enough to know I wouldn't have some hot date. So why is the gorgeous Reese Nikolaidis giving me the time of day? It has to be a joke because she is out of my league. This is a standalone story but is the four book in the Ravenwood series. Book 1 - The Princess of Ravenwood Book 2 - Chasing Kitsune Book 3 - Expect The Unexpected Book 4 - Out Of My League Book 5 - Man's Best Wingman