emo dark humor jokes

Lara Night is Mr. Maximo Winston's secretary. A girl who has a dirty mind. She loves trying new things like s*x toys to fulfill her s****l fantasies. One day, Mr. Winston discovered her extreme s****l fantasy. Lara assumed it would be the end of her corporate career, but it turns out her boss loves it! The next thing she knew, she was having an intimate affair with her Boss who has an XL size. ~Abangan~ Binibining Mary ✍️ 01/14/21

Sierra was told he was a kind and generous soul. A man worth being with and forgetting your past love. She hadn't met him but chose to believe in her future husband's qualities and accepted. Having not yet forgotten about Christian, she hoped her husband would make her forget her sinful feelings for Christian but who she saw after her wedding wasn't who she had imagined as a husband. He was the opposite of a gentle and a kind soul. ***** Mason De Luan was a ruthless mafia Don who had his own reasons for accepting a woman who he knew nothing about as his wife. Only he knew what he would gain by accepting this sham of a marriage despite his heart belonging to someone else. But what happens when the ruthless Mafia gangster starts to see his eye sore of a wife as an attractive one? Or when She has had enough and finally masters the courage to file for a divorce? DARK ROMANCE 18+

WARNING!!! THIS BOOK CONTAINS HIGHLY DISCRIPTIVE SEXUAL CONTENT AND IS NOT SUITABLE FOR READERS BELOW 18. "How do you feel?" He asked as he played with my breast. " I feel... I feel like I'm addicted to you...." I hissed in pleasure as he bit on my nipple. "Go on I want to hear it." He said in a low tone that made my skin heat up again. "You're a sin I can't fight against. You make me want more of you even when it's not right and it's toxic." I said almost whispering still trying to catch my breath. "And you love it even if it feels forbidden." " S-scott we shouldn't...." " Shhh...." He ordered as he stroked my wet clit with his fingers making me moan. "I don't want to hear more of your guilty confessions, I want you..." He paused and drew his face closer to my ears to whisper to it. " I want you to forget everything and just think about you and I and the feelings that comes with our body bonding in each other's heat." She is a stripper, entangled in the men's world. All she ever wanted was to have lots of money, a successful career and lots of men to satisfy her sinful desires. Her name is Thea, flip through the pages of this book to find out how she lives out her erotic fantasies and the lifestyle of guns and men.

Di Malam pertama pernikahan mereka, Keyra baru menyadari bahwa pria yang menjadi suaminya saat ini bukanlah sang kekasih yang telah bersamanya sejak SMA, melainkan saudara kembar pacarnya yang terkenal dingin, arogan dan tak memedulikan perasaan orang lain. "Ayo kita melakukan pernikahan kontrak karena aku tidak mungkin bisa mencintaimu!" Keyra melempar kertas berisi kontrak pernikahan di depan muka Miguel Angelo, saudara kembar pacarnya, Michael Angelo. "Kenapa tidak?" El, panggilan Miguel, mengambil kertas kontrak pernikahan tersebut dengan santai. "Tapi jangan harap kamu bisa lepas dariku, Key," bisiknya sinis di dalam hati. Bagaimanakah pernikahan mereka berlanjut? Apakah Keyra bisa bahagia hidup bersama saudara kembar sang kekasih? Lalu, pergi ke mana kekasih Keyra di hari pernikahan mereka? Dan apa alasan Miguel menggantikan Milo menikahi Keyra?

Dahil sa pag-imbita kay Thiago na pumunta sa isang illegal na Auction kung saan nagbebenta ang isang sindikato ng isang babaeng berhen ay nakilala niya si Keyla. Ang unang babaeng bumihag sa kanya. Ang babae binili niya kapalit ng isang daang million. Isa kasi ito sa inihain sa Auction nabihag agad siya sa ganda ng katawan at mala-dyosa nitong mukha. Ngunit hindi niya inaasahan na isa pala itong alagad ng isang secretong organization na tinatawag na Trial and justice secret organization or TAJSO. At layunin nitong iligpit at humuli ng mga taong may illegal na gawain. At ang pakay nito ay patayin ang isa sa mga bumibili ng babae sa Auction. Kitang-kita niya kung paano ito tumalon mula sa stage habang tangan ang baril mula sa security na inagawan niya. Kahit string bikini at kulay pulang lace na gown lamang ang suot nito. Ay walang kahirap-hirap nitong napatay ang kalaban. Sinubukan niya itong pigilan sa tangkang pag-alis ngunit nagdatingan ang mga pulis at maski siya ay hinuli. At hindi niya makakalimutan ang huling ginawa nito. Makita pa kaya niya ulit si Keyla? At maitatago kaya niya ang kanyang pagkatao bilang isang makapangyarihang MAFIA?

"Once you sign the paper, you are already bound by him. There's no escape only death." After Lorelay learned the truth, she decided to leave Mr. Shein without letting him know the babies on her womb. Nabuo ang galit sa puso niya pagkatapos niyang malaman ang kaugnayan ng asawa niya sa pumatay sa kaniyang itay noon. So she needs time to heal and needs time to reflect. After she spent her last night with her husband, she decided to leave without leaving any traces behind. Because of her disappearance, maraming pagsubok ang dumaan sa kanila. Many third parties involve na naging daan kung bakit napagdesisyunan ni Lorelay na huwag ng bumalik sa asawa. After 5 years, Lorelay is back. With the lawyer in front, she signed the contract stating that she'll be Mr. Shein's assistant kapalit ang isang milyon. Lorelay knew that the contract is not on her favor. She knew what will gonna happened to her while staring at Mr. Shein's cold eyes. Gone with the loving husband. Gone with the caring husband. All she can see now is the ruthless, and cold-hearted CEO. 'Para sa mga anak ko at kay auntie Lorena, lahat ay gagawin ko.' Ang sinasabi ni Lorelay sa isipan niya habang tinatahak ang daan papunta sa asawa niyang minsan na niyang nilayasan. She’s back in his husband’s embrace, knowing that she’ll taste his wrath for leaving him 5 years ago.

Wala nang sasakit pa ang itakwil ka ng sarili mong mga magulang dahil mas pinaniniwalaan ng mga ito ang taong itinuring niyang tunay na kaibigan. Ang akala ni Nicole na mapabuti ang buhay sa tulong ni Danica ay kabaliktaran ang nangyari. Ginamit siya nito upang matupad ang ambisyon sa buhay—ang maikasal sa isang arogante at may pusong bato na si Steven. Hindi na nagtaka si Nicole kung bakit nagawa siyang traidurin ng kaibigan dahil sa lalaking ito. Bukod sa milyonaryo na, angkin pa nito ang katangiang kinababaliwan ng kababaihan sa isang lalaki. After six years, babalik si Nicole upang agawin ang bagay na inangkin ni Danica, kasama na ang lalaking nagbitaw ng isang salitang hindi siya karapat-dapat maging ina ng anak nito.

Apa jadinya jika seorang gadis menyamar menjadi si buruk rupa hanya untuk mengetahui kepribadian calon suami yang dijodohkan dengannya? Apa jadinya jika seorang pengacara muda terpaksa menikah dengan gadis buruk rupa yang dijodohkan dengannya? Akankah cinta tumbuh di antara mereka?

"You are mine, Princess. For the next two months, I own this body and you will not give it out to any other man. I own every fucking inch of this body." Dante trailed her boob with the flogger. * Mireille had been a good girl all her life, sheltered by her protective brother until he goes on a three months travel. Mireille has to stay with his best friend whom she last saw in highschool. Mireille thinks she would finally be free from her brother's protectiveness but she turns out to be wrong as her brother's best friend is a worse version of her brother... Protective and possessive. Mireille wants to hate him but it seems to be impossible to hate a man as hot as Dante Romano. Hot, sexy and a billionaire mafia boss, Dante wants to make Mireille nothing more than his best friend's sister but it seems impossible with the heat that runs through their bodies with their every contact. She is his innocent princess and she is supposed to remain so but when lust pulls her close, she becomes his woman, his possession, the Bad Boy's Princess. But there are many more secrets lurking around, secrets insistent on pulling Mireille out of her innocent lifestyle. Note: This book contains mature scenes including violent scenes and plenty of explicit sexual scenes.

Sixteen years old spoilt brat, with weird quotes from her diary, Katherine Amelia Jones is being stripped off her position as the only child when her Dad remarries a woman with five children, who she develops this sudden hatred for. From being bullied to getting wanted and longed for, by her bully, her step brother.Things takes a sullen turn when she finally lets her guard down and gets involved in a proscriptive relationship with the eldest male of her step siblings.***A mind blowing story filled with suspense. Totally worth reading.