Explaining Homestuck Novels & Stories

On our wedding night, my wife, who almost never drank, got wasted because she was supposedly too happy. Just when I didn't know what to do, my best friend sent me a long message explaining how to take care of her. I blushed, but I still followed his instructions and soothed her the way he described. Natalie, who had been making a scene, miraculously quieted down. But just as I was about to call my friend and thank him, Natalie suddenly hugged me from behind. Heartbroken, she whispered, "Ashton Hawke, you're the one I wanted to marry." As she said it, the tattoo near her heart slipped into view: a hawk with its wings spread wide. My mind went blank. Ashton Hawke was my best friend of twenty years. Natalie hadn't gotten drunk because she was happy. She had gotten drunk because she hadn't married the man she truly wanted.

What will you do if one day, you suddenly wake up with ears above your head and tails behind your back? What if you suddenly came back to how you were, 20 years ago, just with different eyes and hair color? Coming home from a late-night party, Tiffany George passed out as soon as she felt the softness and warmth of her comfy bed. She stinks of alcohol, explaining her carefree behavior, resulting into a deep sleep with her corporate attire on. On the next day, a phone call had woken her up. She massaged her aching temples and reached for her phone on the bedside table. She answered it without even bothering to look at the caller ID, her voice hoarse as she said hello. “Ms. George, what time do you think is it?” a cold voice floated over the phone, waking Tiffany out of her daze. She immediately hung-up the call and rose from the bed. But the moment she tried to reach the floor with her feet… she realized something amiss. She touched her face and felt her chest… A long silence ensued before her loud scream filled the entire room.

“So then what do you want? Tell me.” That question isn’t one easily answered. Her eyes are pleading with me, searching my own for any sign. She’s vulnerable and so innocent right now, and that excites me. The predator in me wants to play and I just can’t resist. I need a taste. Just one more. Demetrius is over his meaningless cursed life. He’s ruthless, cruel and doesn’t care for many, a true monster. Even still, he feels alone, misunderstood, and longs for something new and exciting, until one day by a chance encounter he meets Xenia, a human woman, who is all of those things. He despises humans, but aside from the physical attraction something about her is different. Realizing she is a temptation that he can’t afford, he makes the decision to cut her from his life, but when she is marked by another, he is forced to reveal his true self, bringing her into his dark world of the damned. Keeping his true feelings hidden and explaining her presence to the others while protecting her from the creatures that roam night, creatures she never even knew existed, will be difficult enough. But there’s an even bigger issue: How do you fight a temptation you can’t get away from?

As I stepped out of my older brother's newly opened supermarket, the alarm suddenly rang. The sales assistant grimly reached out and grabbed me, "Miss, you haven't paid yet." I remembered that my buttons were made of metal, which triggered the alarm. After patiently explaining and easing the atmosphere, I said, "The owner of this supermarket is my older brother. He'll pay the bill." The sales assistant scoffed. "Your brother's the boss? Why not say he's your husband instead? You stole and refused to admit it. Pay up or I'll call the police immediately," she said and crumpled the receipt into a ball before throwing it at my face. I endured the humiliation and unfolded it. A baby pacifier for 100,000 dollars. Two packs of baby wet wipes for 200,000 dollars. Security personnel's hush fee, 300,000 dollars. All of the miscellaneous expenses added up to exactly one million dollars. I laughed in anger. "One million dollars? Why don't you just rob a bank? Go and get Chad Surrey. I want to see how I ended up with such a heartless brother." She rolled her eyes. "Don't pretend if you can't afford it, thief. Is Mr. Surrey someone you can see whenever you want?" When my parents came to help me, I said, "Only one of us exists in this family. It's either me or her."

My fiancee gets drunk the day before our wedding. While I'm taking her home, she mistakes me for my best friend. "Jackson, don't bring our child to the wedding tomorrow. I don't want Samuel to know about us." I slam on the brakes, causing Madelyn Wilkinson to hit the seatback and come to her senses. When she realizes it's me, she freezes for a moment before slowly explaining, "Since you heard that, let's call off the wedding for now. You don't have to worry. Jackson doesn't plan on getting married again. But I'm still that child's mother no matter what, so I need to help out. "Jackson's your best friend. You feel sorry for him if he has to raise a child alone, don't you? I'll marry you after my son starts school." I can't help smiling bitterly. "Alright then… I don't have a problem with that." When we get home, she packs up a suitcase and leaves without another word. Feeling a sting in my eyes, I suppress my emotions as I sit on the couch, falling into a daze. That's when my phone rings at the worst possible moment. My childhood friend, Hazel Parsons, says in a hoarse voice, "Sam, don't marry her. Please." I fall silent for a beat. "Alright."

I exercised too hard during the day and, by midnight, a sharp pain tore through my stomach. When I checked my pants, there was blood. I called my friend immediately and had him rush me to the hospital. The moment I finished explaining my symptoms, the doctor did not even pause to think before saying, "This is a potential miscarriage. We need to start treatment right away." My eyes went wide. I opened my mouth to protest, but she steamrolled right over me. Her gaze dripped with contempt. "I see dozens of patients every day. I know exactly what you women are like. Probably had abortion after abortion in school with zero self-respect. Now that you're getting older, you want to trap some nice guy into cleaning up your mess." I had never met such an unprofessional doctor in my life. Anger flared in my chest, and I threatened to report her on the spot. She barely blinked. "Touched a nerve, huh? I'm just trying to help you out here. Doctors have it so hard these days. Tell someone the truth and complaints are all you get." The whispers started around me. People staring, judging, pointing. I had truly had enough. Had it occurred to literally anyone that I might just be a guy with long hair?

Led by my ex-boyfriend, the police raid the base of the major crime syndicate. The antagonist takes his own life, and the only person who could prove my identity as a top-secret undercover operative died two weeks ago. My ex-boyfriend drags me into court. He wants my memories extracted so I can face public judgment and sentencing. Nevertheless, I have no intention of explaining myself. "I plead guilty. Grant me a swift death." The masses are outraged, despising me with every fiber of their being. "Ha! You despicable traitor! You monster! You're a rat who exposes undercover journalists, yet you dare ask for a swift death? "This is the world of a novel. The maximum penalty for a guilty plea is euthanasia, but if judgment is passed by the court, you will suffer endless torment until your last breath!" "You don't deserve euthanasia. You belong in hell!" Rotten eggs and stones pelt me mercilessly. Even with my face now covered in blood, I make no effort to avoid the assaults. I only longed for death. My ex-boyfriend glares at me coldly. "You betrayed me. What right do you have to ask for a swift death? Your memories must be extracted and judged in court. Death will come only after your torment!" They are the ones who demand my memories be extracted and judged, yet after seeing them, why are they also the ones who go mad with regret?

My mother-in-law was rushed to the hospital with sudden chest pain and sent straight into emergency surgery. However, my wife, who was the head of the thoracic department, insisted that her clueless young male apprentice be the lead surgeon instead. The apprentice stood in front of the operating table. He couldn’t even recognize half of the surgical instruments laid out before him. He pouted and fidgeted a little. “I forgot again…” My wife just smiled indulgently at him. Even though the patient’s chest had been opened, she patiently spent ten minutes explaining the instruments to him before the surgery finally began. In the end, the apprentice’s hand trembled, and he accidentally punctured the tumor. Terrified, he let out a sharp scream and threw himself into my wife’s arms. To console him, my mother-in-law’s only chance at survival was gone, and she died right there on the operating table. My wife walked out of the operating room, supporting her badly shaken apprentice, and glanced at me indifferently. “Before you take your mother’s body away, provide an affidavit of non-prosecution to the hospital. Your mom couldn’t have been saved anyway. Anthony is still young. His future can’t be ruined because of your mother.” Only then did I realize that she thought the person lying on that operating table was my mother. I chuckled and said, “I'm afraid I'm not qualified to do that.”

On the day of my wedding, my fiance, Don James Colombo, left me at the altar again. "Angelina is in the ICU," he said. "The ceremony will have to wait." It was the ninth time he had abandoned me for his terminally ill childhood sweetheart. The first time, she had run away from home, and he could not rest easy. "Angelina is missing, yet you want me to stand here toasting at the wedding? Don't be so selfish, Leticia." The third time, he said Angelina was in a terrible state and threatening to take her own life — he had to go comfort her. By the eighth time, James had stopped explaining and simply had the butler notify me the wedding was off. For him, postponing a wedding was nothing. For me, the Buono Principessa left standing in a chapel, it meant ridicule and one hundred lashes from my furious father. The lashes split open my skin and left me running a fever that would not break. James would hold me afterward, apologize helplessly, and promise he would make it up to me after we married. He promised nine times. He kept none of them. So when he left me again for Angelina, I did not cry or make a scene. I packed my bags alone and in silence. It would be the last time he ever postponed our wedding. One month later, he would never be able to find me again.

The day before the SAT, the homecoming queen, Madison Freeman, lets out a shrill scream. "Everyone, you should skip out on the test! Luna AI is paying out five million dollars!" She pulls up the insurance agreement she has signed with Luna AI on her phone and shows it to everyone. As long as we miss the SAT, we will get five million dollars in compensation. "We're all Acorn League material. Skipping the SAT just means repeating senior year." "This is five million dollars we're talking about. We could work our butts off our whole lives and never earn that much." In my previous life, I had called 911 and spent forever explaining that Luna AI was just an AI and couldn't actually pay out. The cops literally dragged every single person into the exam hall. But because of it, Madison was ridiculed and cyberbullied so hard that she couldn't take it anymore and jumped off a building. The whole class then cornered me on the rooftop and poured acid all over me. "If it weren't for you, Madison would still be alive." They watched me thrash in agony and then kicked me off the edge. When I open my eyes again, I am right back at the moment Madison is hyping everyone up to blow off the SAT. I quietly watch every single one of them sign the agreement with Luna AI. I can't wait to see who they plan on collecting those five million dollars from.