F Up Jokes

After I announced my exit from the music industry, the public response was overwhelmingly positive. The only person who voiced his objection was my girlfriend's rumored lover, the up-and-coming songwriter Lucas Zacker. He put on a show of sincerity in front of a crowd of reporters. "It's all a misunderstanding. Matthew is an irreplaceable talent in the music industry. I sincerely hope he returns to the stage." I shut off my phone and turned a blind eye to his public plea. In my past life, one of my songs had been identical to his supposedly original single. As such, netizens accused me of plagiarism, cursing me and wishing death upon my family. Frustrated, I posted the entire creation process online, but it couldn't stand up to the timeline. His new song had been released ten minutes ahead of mine. Just because of the ten-minute difference, netizens sent me photoshopped mourning portraits of myself and even went so far as to come to my house and vandalize it with paint. The relentless cyberbullying went on for years, and it drove me into a deep depression. My parents exhausted their life savings trying to clear my name, only for crazed fans to set our house on fire, causing my parents to burn to death. In the end, when his song won an award, I jumped off a building. But who would have guessed that when I opened my eyes again, I was reborn on the very day the new song was set to release.

After being humiliated by her fated mate, the Alpha’s golden son, and called a worthless omega in front of the entire Moonglow pack, Tiara’s world collapses. Even her favorite comfort, reading her beloved comic Hockey Star is Obsessed With Me, can’t save her from her pain. But one wish, saved through tears, changes everything. Tiara wakes up inside the comic’s story, in the body of the tragic heroine doomed to fail the one man who ever loved her: Luke Thorne, the immortal hockey star who hunts under the moon. She knows this story. Every twist. Every betrayal. Every heartbreak. But this time, she’s determined to rewrite the ending, to save Luke and maybe heal her own shattered heart. But Tiara soon discovers she’s not the only soul who doesn’t belong in this world… and some people will do anything to keep the story playing out as it was originally written.

"I just want to ask you one question before you walk away Hailey. How loud do you think you'll scream when I fuck you”? My name is Hailey King, and I’m living a lie. I’ve hidden the truth from everyone including my own brothers just to keep what I do and who I really am a secret. It’s not that I want to lie, it's just that I don't have a choice. I thought I was holding it all together, thought I was strong until I saw Jayden Knight last New Year’s Eve. He stripped me bare—emotionally and physically. Jayden is everything I want but everything I know I can’t have. We’ve known each other most of our lives, but I’ve kept my distance since I turned eighteen, because I knew deep down he was dangerous to my carefully built façade. And I was right. After that night we spent together, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him or how completely he ignited something in me I didn’t know still existed. Now, I crave Jayden like he’s a drug I can’t quit… and that one unforgettable night still haunts me. But I'm in for a surprise the next morning.

I suffered from a skin condition. I scratched myself in the library, and millions of netizens spammed my private inbox. Only then did I find out that a girl accused me of harassing her. I took out my diagnostic report to defend my innocence, but the girl cried pitifully. “You really know how to make an excuse for yourself! How could someone innocent like me frame you?” Even my elder brother spoke up for her! “Why would she frame you of all people? Can’t you take a look at yourself?” I could not bear the cyberbullying, and I died from a sudden heart attack the day before the court hearing. My grandfather could not accept my death, and he collapsed into a coma. My parents cut off ties with my brother before they committed suicide at home. Meanwhile, the girl did not just successfully make her way into graduate school, but she also dug open my grave and used my ashes to make fireworks. When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day when she had asked me to reserve a seat in the library.

After giving birth, I lost my beauty when I started adding weight in all the wrong places. Stretch marks. A soft stomach. Tired eyes. The same body that carried our child became the body my husband couldn’t stand to look at. “I can’t take you anywhere like this.” That was what Marcus Hawthorne my powerful, untouchable CEO husband said the night he stopped bringing me to events. The whispers followed after that. She let herself go. He deserves better. How embarrassing for a man like him. I heard them all. And Marcus? He never defended me. Instead, he grew colder, crueler and distant everyday. The same man I sacrificed my everything for made me feel like I was no longer worth loving. And when tragedy struck and I lost the only thing keeping me togheter —our child. I realized the bitter truth not only was I meant to grieve a failed marriage alone but a dead child too because Marcus didn't hesitate to replace us with his new family. And that was my breaking point. Determined to start all over I fled the country for my sanity. Worked on the body that once made me hate my reflection. Rebuilt the career I had abandoned for love. Became the successful woman I was always meant to be. Now, seven years later, I’m back. And guess who can’t take his eyes off me? Marcus. Only, he isn't the man I left behind. Haunted by a serious problem that only I can help him with he’s willing to do anything to get me back. But here’s the problem. The woman who would have forgiven him no longer exists. And the woman standing here now? Isn’t sure she wants anything to do with him ever again.

"Everything was fine, until it wasn't. And that was because I was carrying a billionaire's baby from a one-night stand. A cold-hearted billionaire with an enormous ego. The question is, will that baby be my escape from my narcissistic parents, or will it bring even more complications, as I strike a deal with a billionaire? "I am your typical billionaire, the kind who walks around with a proud aura. A one-night with a woman brings me a solution to all of my troubles. But the problem was, I couldn't understand if this woman was bringing me another chance at happiness, or she was just karma, here for a payback."

“No! Cassian, wait…” Angela moans, panting hard after an earth-shattering org*sm. “This is... this is very wrong.” She lets out, battling her overwhelming desires, and rationality as her palm pushes against the taut chest of the man above her. "It's forbidden." she gasps. “Tell me you don't crave this as much as I do, and I promise I won't disturb you ever again.” Cassian mutters hoarsely, lust and desire burning in his eyes, as he looks down at Angela's flushed face, her eyes mirroring his, and her body quivering with need beneath him. “Take me,” she purrs, and he doesn't waste time claiming her… ~~~~▪•♤~~~•♧•~~~♤▪•~~~~ Angela thought she was crazy for having a crush on her brother. He was off limits, a forbidden fruit she should only fantasize about. What she didn't expect was the moon goddess pairing them as mates on her 21st birthday. The goddess must be crazy, she thought, for allowing such an abomination. She was forced to reject her brother or be sent abroad, a decision her parents claimed was the right one. However, it seems she wasn't the only crazy one; Cassian, her brother, wanted her for himself, and he was willing to go against everyone to keep her. Their parents and elders of the pack also weren't willing to back down; they were prepared to go to great lengths to prevent their bond from taking root. Will these two be able to overcome all obstacles and stay together? But know this, the Moon Goddess does not bind blood. Her choice is never a mistake.

In a world where the gods of legend have become actual fact, a few misnomers from another planet seek to simply live their lives in peace. If you could choose one word from the dictionary, one that simply defines you to the core of your soul, what would you say your definition is?

Just before her husband and son have her locked in a psychiatric ward, Nora Yates wakes up—reborn, wide awake, and done playing nice. Two men who never truly loved her? Who used and discarded her? Fine. She’s cutting them out for good. When she signs the divorce papers and walks away, the world cheers—including the internet. Oddly, the only one upset is her adoptive sister, the mistress. “Come on, Nora,” she pouts. “I only borrowed your husband and son for my birthday. Was that really worth all this drama?” “You’re lucky to have a husband and son like that. You should count your blessings.” Nora lets out a sharp laugh. “Then consider this ‘blessing’ my personal gift to you. After all, trash belongs in the dumpster.” She walks off without a second glance—glowing, untouchable, and ready to run the world. Soon, her business is booming. Suitors line up. The woman they tried to destroy becomes the woman everyone wants to be. Years later, now a titan in her field, she sits down for a high-profile interview. “Ms. Yates,” the reporter asks, “it’s rumored that Mr. Luther, CEO of Luther Corp, is your ex-husband. Do you still keep in touch?” Nora smiles politely. “Sorry. I’m a widow with no children.” Then she turns to the camera, smiles straight through the lens—at the ex-husband and son losing their minds behind the scenes—and adds, “Just remarried. Baby girl on the way.”

My husband, Theodore, was about to take his childhood sweetheart, Rosalie, around the world in a hot-air balloon when I was kidnapped by his enemy. They were about to throw me into a snake pit. I gave up asking Theodore for help and called my father-in-law instead. In my previous life, I begged Theodore to save me, even kneeling in front of the phone camera. Hence, he abandoned the hot-air balloon ride with Rosalie and rushed to negotiate with the kidnapper. Rosalie was all alone and angry. She took another hot-air balloon, but it exploded mid-way, causing her to die on the spot without even leaving behind an intact corpse. Hearing the bad news, Theodore showed a rare calm expression. He seemed to forget about Rosalie's existence and took me on a trip around the world. As we were sailing in Norwol, he suddenly pushed me into the sea. "I should never have saved you. Snake pit? Kidnapper? How could they have had the courage to push you into it? I should've never saved you if I knew it'd kill Rosalie. You should go to hell sooner!" When I opened my eyes again, I had come back to the day I was kidnapped. This time, I chose not to call for help. Humble love would only leave you bruised and battered.