Fiction Humor Novels & Stories

"Blame me and not that hot man who makes my brain turn to pudding whenever I see him. Besides, how could I have known he was the same Ken Carmen has been yapping about." I stared at Harrison for a moment, then burst out into loud laughter. The kind of laughter that left you breathless and tears rolling down your cheeks. "I thought these things happen in cheesy dramas," I wheeze after regaining my composure "Did you even listen to anything you said?" he snapped.

She barely laughed at his jokes. “What’s funny?”

I asked, "So, Miss. How is it going with the Dark humour guy? Any update so far?" "HA! Dark humour! He's the funniest guy, I've ever met. Didn't you hear that line of him? I mean he called himself motherfucker; oh my, that's the kind of humour I love. Every time he cracks a joke, it makes me head over heels for him. And not forget his awkwardness around girls" the sarcasm was dripping from her mouth. But that changed my mood. And we both started chuckling, "He's not that bad!" I exclaimed. Right? He's not that bad.

she said and I moved away from her a bit. “What?” I asked. “You know how he never ages? People say he uses other people to elongate his life,” she continued. In the seriousness of it all, I couldn't help it and I burst out laughing. Hilda frowned at my reaction but that only made the whole thing funnier. “I…I'm sorry,” I said amidst my laughing fit as I clutched my stomach. I laughed for a good three minutes before the laughter died down and I stood upright. “Did I crack a joke?” She asked with a frown.

She raises her eyebrows, clearly expecting some appreciation for her terrible humor. And even though I try to resist, the laugh bursts out before I can stop it. It’s so loud it actually echoes, and suddenly, every pair of eyes in the sparring room swivels around to stare at us. But honestly? I could not care less. Jennie’s standing there grinning like she’s the funniest person on the planet, and maybe she kind of is, to me anyway. “Jennie, that was so bad, I might actually have to file a complaint with the dad joke committee,” I manage, clutching my stomach because apparently, my body forgot how to laugh quietly.

A message bubble lit up under his name, cheerful and oblivious. Just another one of his dry, stupid jokes—something about his dinner being so terrible he was convinced the restaurant was trying to assassinate him with undercooked chicken. He'd probably attached one of those ridiculous GIFs he was always finding, something animated and silly that was meant to make me laugh.

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

"Ohh.. yea.. Hassie, I have to give her a call. She has missed out on some things" "Babe, what's up". I hopped into her car as she drove towards her house. "I will tell you more. Let's get something on our way. I would love to eat something". She shook her head "you look chubby now. I bet in a week's time, you will be so fat". She said laughing while I glared at her. "Why aren't you laughing? Isn't it funny?" "It is not. You make dry jokes". "Nope, I disagree. It is not funny to you because the joke is directed to you. And you lack a bit of a sense of humor".

“Yeah well, my sleeping pattern has been off-balance lately, so it's only natural that my eating habits will change too. And geez, I can't help being hungry all the time.” “I think you should cut back on the food a little. At this rate, you'll end up being the biggest person I know.” He teased, poking her belly. “You're such a dick.” “But you still love this dick.” “Are you serious right now? Tell me, does it look like I’m in the mood for any of your crap?” “Whoa, it was just a joke.” “Don't joke like that. Some jokes that are funny, right? And others that are just not ok. Guess which category yours falls into.”

"Ms. Sampson's villa isn't home for the homeless. They're your parents, aren't they, Felix? Figures. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Ugh, I can still smell the mud on them." Rage flared within my heart, but I held it back and quickly wiped the water off my in-laws. Diane had a short fuse. She would not stand for this insult, so she snapped, "And who are you supposed to be, you uneducated swine? How dare you call Felix a homeless man!" Zack did not hold back. Instead, he pressed on the attack. He picked up a ceramic ornament and hurled it at Diane. I deflected it with my hand, and the ornament grazed me.