Food Jokes

I woke up again to find myself locked up in a cage like an animal. That is where I always find myself after wining an almost loosing battle which involve's me having possession of some powers I have no knowledge of. I would remain in that cage with no food nor water but I survived anyways. Who am I? I am neither a human or an animal, I am both. I have elf ears, carrot nose, legs like that of a horse, got human breast though hairy and I have a hole. Wondering what I am? well I know not either, guess I just have to keep breathing until the day I meets the wizard again. My name is Special and this is my story....

My older sister, Scarlet Dawson, is an absolute saint with a savior complex. When the apocalyptic heatwave hits us, she gives out water to our neighbors, food to strangers, and even invites her boyfriend's entire family to live with us. When our supplies are finally depleted, Scarlet actually considers selling me off to a perverted old man in exchange for supplies to look after her boyfriend, Marcus Crosby. I promptly pull out my stun gun and knock her unconscious. Then, I hand her straight to the perverted old man instead. I go back to my villa, where the temperature is constantly kept at 60°F, and enjoy a tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream under the air conditioning. Not only that, but my villa is stocked with enough supplies to last me for the next few decades!

Francine Forenbach is the Green River Pack's Princess. The great Alpha King's daughter. At the age of 14, the Forenbach family adopted an unknown civilian. The Forenbach provided him with garments, food, and shelter. Azure's life has always been sad and lonely since he was born. But as he entered the Pack, he began to rethink the decision that had always surrounded his mind. Francine developed feelings for Azure. As they mature, Azure finds himself vulnerable, realizing that his feelings for his adoptive sister are not the result of their shared childhood. Now that they are both consenting adults, the two must figure out how to understand their feelings before things get even more complicated. He couldn't possibly love her. Francine is forbidden to love. It is a sin to love her. She is his younger sister. But the question is... how could he resist those innocent brown eyes?

The supernatural world in the UK in 2023 is dramatic, filled with hostile takeovers, new developments and, unfortunately, murder. The werewolves want to establish themselves as the top of the food chain, pushing everyone else into hiding. At nearly 298 years old, Ophelia is used to things going her way. She has immaculate control, she's happy, and her life just works. She is in perfect harmony with her succubus and wolf, and is more than content with where she is. That's until Nathaniel, the heir to the local werewolf pack shoves his way back into her life, disrupting the burgeoning relationship she was already in with her head of security, Luke. With Nathaniel comes complications, both with the wolf pack and personally. The three of them need to learn to work and live together, for the safety of those around them. But can they? An alpha female, an alpha male and a beta male in a relationship is a recipe for disaster, but somehow, they need to make it work.

Living alone can cause a fortune, especially when you are just a student. Bills, food, transportation, academic fees were some of the things you have to pay in order to survive. However, the 18-year old Ysabella had no trouble complying with those as she earns a lot of money from running a business. An application called “Ringo Dingo” is the core of her business. Ysabella created it two years ago to easily communicate with her clients. One acceptance of request is equivalent to tons of pennies. Her business grew and lots of clients were using the service she provides. But the thing is, it is not your typical business. Ysabella, together with everyone involved in it, could get into trouble when the school authorities know about it. Or worse, they might get expelled. Be with Ysabella as she runs her business and unfolds the unexpected turns of events in her life. You are invited to join Ringo Dingo! Accept Decline

In my previous life, the apocalyptic haunts descended without warning, and the whole world plunged into a living hell. After two days of starvation, my husband and mother-in-law tied me to a chair. I begged them desperately, but they did not spare me. Instead, to keep their "food" fresh, they sliced the flesh straight from my leg. When I was reborn, I spent every last cent of my fortune to hold a grand, extravagant funeral, for myself. My husband and mother-in-law thought I had lost my mind. However, what they had not known was this: anyone who buried themselves could claim the treasures laid to rest in their own coffin: golden coins that could command the anomalies of the end times. Which meant that with this extravagant funeral, I would stand invincible when the apocalypse arrived. That time, without me as their "meat" and scapegoat… I would see how long they lasted.

Twelve years ago, Cherry Collins was orphaned after a ghastly fire outbreak, broke across her parents massive restaurant empire, killing them on the spot and rendering her homeless, Cherry became heartbroken and lost. Just 11 years old at the time, she roamed round the streets begging for food and eating from trash cans. Luckily for her she meets Jayson, at a mansion where she goes to pick trash, they hit it off and quickly become tight friends. Due to unknown reasons, they split during college. Revolving worlds and changing times, they meet again, Cherry is now 23, and a cold-hearted, rich and independent woman, who has vowed never to fall in love again, Jayson is still a rich enterprenuer. They meet and rekindle old flames and friendship. Will they finally fall in love? Can they admit that the friendship from before was more than just that? Find out in this intriguing romance novel.

It all began with a single post about canceling a food delivery order. Overnight, I became the internet's punching bag. Thousands of vicious messages flooded my inbox, filled with photoshopped memorials urging me to die. They doxxed my family, plastered my personal details across shady websites, and used AI to create obscene images of me, spreading them in vile chat groups. They spread lies about my income, claiming it came from illicit sources, and accused me of carrying diseases. I didn't call the police or block the messages. Instead, I read every hateful word before singling out the 100 worst offenders. Every day, I sent each one a luxurious meal: Boston lobster, Australian wagyu, the works. Each delivery came with a simple note: [Thank you for your hard work.]

I am having a heart attack when Scott Lakin locks me inside the car. It's because my pain is frightening his childhood sweetheart. In response to my desperate pleas for help, he merely utters coldly, "I'll let you out when you apologize." I go into shock and have to be rushed to the hospital. I call Scott a dozen times, but he just blocks me. Finally, after I get discharged, I see him carefully feeding his childhood sweetheart chicken soup. "Have some food, darling. What if the baby in your belly is hungry?" After that, I return to my hometown without saying a word and stay there for half a month. After blocking me everywhere except the music streaming platform, Scott suddenly starts frantically searching for me. "Jennie, why didn't you add me back on Facebook this time?"

CAMILLA WALTERS thought she had come to the end of the road when fate caught up with her. No where left to run or hide, on the verge of becoming fish food at the hands of drug runners she owed a lot of money to. That was until fate brought her ALEXI, head of the family CARRERO - The unexpected hero who saved her ass and changed her life in one easy manouvre. Who knew she would have to sign her soul over to the devil in a bid to stay alive and in doing so, lose her heart and mind in the process. This is not your typical hearts and roses story - Let the games begin and the war commence. This is book 7 in The Carrero Series, although you can read this without prior books. There are back story hints from previous books worked in, so this new trio can be read alone. For a fuller understanding then start with The Carrero Effect .