Food Jokes

To ensure fairness, my daughter said that she would draw lots to choose whose family to spend the New Year’s with every year. However, for the past nine years, she had spent the New Year’s with her in-laws. The latest draw was no different. On New Year’s Eve, my daughter gave me specific instructions. “Mom, we’re spending the New Year’s with my in-laws. We’ve made a reservation at the most expensive restaurant in town. Please help me save some money. You can just make some food at home for your dinner.” Hence, on New Year’s Eve, I ate alone while watching TV at home. When I stood up, I accidentally knocked over the raffle box. All the lots inside the box had my daughter’s handwriting. The words ‘in-laws’ were clearly written on every single one of them. For the past ten years, the lots had been fake. My daughter was willingly spending the New Year’s celebration with her in-laws, and she had never once thought of spending it with me, her biological mother, who had spent so much money on her. At the same time, I got a notification on my phone. Her mother-in-law posted something on social media. [My daughter-in-law is so lovely. She bought me so many gifts and chose to spend the New Year’s with us. It’s as if she’s our own daughter!] They smiled brightly in the video. On the table were gifts that she bought using my retirement fund. I did not sleep for the whole night. The next morning, I called the bank. “Please remove all the auto-debit accounts from my retirement account.” From then on, I would only spend my money on myself.

Ever since my mom gave birth to her second child, everything in the household is tied to drawing lots. Everyone has to draw lots in order to decide whose favorite food will be served for each meal. We have to draw lots to see who among us gets a hug from our parents. Every time, I end up drawing the short end of the stick, so everyone automatically assumes that my younger sister, Anabelle Madden, gets the better lot. She easily reaps my parents' love without having to do anything at all. Whenever I feel like crying because of the injustice, Mom will scold me instantly. "I bought the lottery box because I was worried that you might feel upset about this. I'm doing this just to be fair to both of you. "If you want something, you have to be the one deciding who gets what. Your father and I won't interfere with your decision at all. Since you can't draw the better lot, that just means you have bad luck." Hence, I keep practicing my lot-drawing skills every day, hoping that I can eventually draw the better lot in order to obtain my parents' love. But for ten years, I never get to draw the better lot. Not even once. On my birthday, Anabelle wants to go to the amusement park, so Mom tells us to draw lots once again. I secretly glue two short lots together before giving it to Mom in an attempt to get her to stay with me. Instead, she slaps me and berates me for being a disobedient child who cheats in lot-drawing. Then, she leaves the house with Anabelle. When I fall to the floor, I feel the short sticks piercing through my neck.

When event planner Sophia Martinez crashes billionaire Ethan Cross's exclusive charity gala, she's just trying to steal enough food to feed her dying mother. She never expects to catch the attention of New York's most ruthless CEO or to accept his shocking proposal. Ethan offers Sophia five million dollars for six months of her life: pose as his devoted fiancée to make his ex jealous and secure the biggest business deal of his career. The rules are simple no real feelings, no physical contact, just perfect public performances as the ideal couple. But Sophia harbors a devastating secret. She's the daughter of the man who destroyed Ethan's family empire five years ago, and she's been living with the guilt ever since. As she falls deeper into the charade, the lines between pretense and reality blur. Every stolen glance, every fake smile, every staged kiss pulls her further from her mission and closer to the man she's supposed to hate. Ethan finds himself breaking his own rules. The woman he hired to heal his wounded pride is awakening feelings he thought were dead. But when business rival Marcus Reid begins circling like a vulture, threatening to expose their arrangement, Ethan realizes the game has become far more dangerous than either of them anticipated. As corporate espionage collides with family secrets, Sophia must choose between protecting the man she loves and saving herself from a past that refuses to stay buried. When Ethan discovers her true identity, their contract becomes worthless but their hearts have already signed a deal that could destroy them both. In a world where billion-dollar empires rise and fall on trust, can love survive the ultimate betrayal? Or will the truth shatter more than just their fake engagement?

After I get reborn, I've returned to the moment my mother wants me to pick out my future mate. This time, I don't choose anyone at all. Instead, I've decided to travel to the rural mountain area as a healer. In my previous life, the Alphas of the packs based in the northern meadow and the western coast had requested to form a marriage alliance with me to my mother. Similarly, I had feelings for both of them. But while I was conflicted as to which Alpha I had to choose, I happened to stumble upon them going into their rut earlier than expected due to them being drugged. The Alphas pinned me down on the bed. That was how I ended up spending the night with them. But it was precisely that night that left me with pup. Since we had no idea whose pup I was with, my parents decided to let me take both Alphas in as my mates for the sake of my pack's reputation. But on the day our mating ceremony was set to begin, the Alphas' first love, Julia Cooper, left her pack out of anger when she found out about their mating ceremony with me. Unexpectedly, the pack that Julia had gone to was invaded by another pack. She was exiled from the pack as a Rogue, only to get tormented by other Rogues till she drew her last breath. After her death, both Alphas laced my food with wolfsbane, which led to my death. On the second before I lost my consciousness, I heard their furious voices. "You have no right to be living a good life when Julia has died a terrible death!" When I open my eyes again, I've returned to the day both Alphas have gone into rut.

"You understand what it means for you to be mine, right? "He questions, and I swallow. Never breaking eye contact with him. "No... "I admit with my voice trembling. "If you become mine, "He begins, his tone dropping into a seductive growl that sends shivers down my spine. "You won't just be working for me. Your body will belong to me. I'll do whatever I want with you, whenever I want, and however I want. "He says, and as my back hits the wall my stomach drops. "You're not... planning to sell my organs, are you?" I ask, the words spilling out before I can stop them. "No, David, " "I mean, I'll fuck you whenever, wherever, and however I want. You'll be mine. My personal... plaything. Of course, you'll be taken care of. Shelter, food, Vanessa's bills... Everything. However, your main job will be warming my bed. "He says, and my eyes widen in horror. ***** His job was… ‘simple’. To rob him, and run as far as his resources could take him. He didn't plan to get caught. And even if that was a probability, he never expected to be spared. He never expected Salvatore to spare his life and keep him alive as a boy toy. He also didn't expect his straight self to fall for a man. Especially not one as rough, dangerous, and deadly as Salvatore. Are the feelings reciprocated? Or is David just a toy to Salvatore? This is the question that plagues David as he falls deeper and faster for this dangerous, Italian hot cake. Realizing he would do anything for the unpredictable man he had grown to love. When their dangerous world closes in, David must decide. Will he run, or will he risk everything for the man who could break his heart?

Williams Ava is a well known doctor in New York, she maintained a low profile because she has someone she loves, she has saved many lives, after saving Alexander's grandfather, she got into an arranged marriage with Alexander who she is in love with as his grandfather requested, she turned a blind eye to all his escapades. Ava devoted all her being into their 4 years marriage, she made sure Alexander met food in the dining room, sort out his laundry, she had to stop practicing her career to be the submissive wife Alexander would want and hoped to gain his love. With all this, it still seems she wasn't enough for Alexander who had his first love lurking around him 24/7. Ava did all she could to get her husband attention to her but all proved abortive as Linda was also determine to get back into Alexander life as a legally married wife. Ava discovered that Alexander had eye defect and needed eye surgery with immediate effects, she didn't hesitate to give out one eye for him. Linda made sure all Ava does was nothing to Alexander as she claimed the position of the eye donor just as she has always does. Alexander was touched by her and vowed to give her a place in his life after leaving her hanging all this years. Alexander gave divorce papers to the sick Ava without any delay, Ava hoped to save her marriage and reveal that she was pregnant. Alexander looked at her coldly and spat 'abort it'. Forced into the cold walls of the hospital to get rid of the baby, Ava shed tears of blood and decided to cut off ties with Alexander after she makes it out alive.

My in-laws, Melvin Gardner and Sharon Murphy, kept it a secret from us and traveled all the way to Metoville to surprise their daughter, Vivian Gardner. I brought them to the restaurant where Vivian worked as head chef, thinking she would give them a proper welcome and a great meal. However, Vivian called over her favorite pretty-boy apprentice, Tyler Lambert, and had him handle a batch of wild-harvested oysters from the deep sea. These rare specimens were notorious because they may carry Tetrodotoxin if not purged with extreme precision—a high-stakes task that even the seasoned chefs usually avoided. Tyler frowned and whined at her, "Oh come on, Chef, these oysters are so tricky to prepare. I'm not sure I can handle them..." Vivian just laughed it off. "Just give them a quick rinse, and you're done. They're just a couple of old country folks. There's no need to fuss." Melvin and Sharon ate the oysters. Within ten minutes, they were foaming at the mouth and collapsed on the table. When Vivian rushed over, she did not even bother to look at the two elderly people. Instead, she was busy comforting Tyler, who had gone pale and fallen into her arms. She said, "If they got food poisoning, send them to the hospital. But make sure they sign a liability waiver before they leave." She glanced at me casually, her tone suggesting the poisoned elderly couple had nothing to do with her. "Your parents are from the countryside, so they're probably not used to city food. Don't try to pin this on the restaurant or Tyler!" It hit me that she still had not realized the people who had collapsed at the table were her own parents. I looked at her helplessly and confirmed, "Are you sure you want to clear 'Tyler' of all responsibility?"

Eve never believed in fate...until three ruthless alphas claimed her as theirs. Desperate to save her dying mother, Eve works as a masked dancer at Eclipse, the city's most exclusive club, where anonymity is her only protection. When the infamous Blackwood triplets—Damian, Damon, and Silas, offer her an obscene amount of money for a six-month exclusive contract, she accepts despite the terrifying rumors. Girls whisper about their brutality, their insatiable appetites, and the way they share everything... including women. The first night, Eve discovers the rumors don't do them justice. Together, they overwhelm her....three predators claiming their prey in the most primal way possible. But something is different about Eve. While other women break under the brothers' dark desires, she endures. She matches their intensity, craves their brutality, returns night after night hungry for more. The brothers don't understand why they can't stay away from her. Why her scent drives them to the edge of madness. Why the mate bond...something they never believed they'd find...pulls them to this masked human with increasing, undeniable force. Then Eve's body begins to change. After three days without them, she collapses, her body shutting down from a hunger no food can satisfy. When Damian touches her fevered skin, her eyes glow amber and an ancient binding spell shatters. The truth explodes between them in a wave of desperate, consuming need: Eve isn't human. She's a succubi—a creature who feeds on sexual energy to survive. And they are her fated mates. Suddenly, Eve's nightly visits become her lifeline. She needs them...needs their touch, their dominance, their insatiable desire....or she'll die. A dark paranormal romance of fated mates, brutal alphas, and a queen who was born to rule them all.

When my husband, Austin Hart, and I participated in the earthquake disaster relief, he discovered the corpse of his first love, Stacy Deleon, in the collapse zone. That night, Austin left a suicide note behind before jumping off the building with our son, Clifford Hart, in order to reunite with Stacy in the afterlife. Only then did I realize that both Austin and Clifford never cared about me, to begin with. When I was reborn, I returned to the moment when Austin first asked for a divorce. This time, I agreed to the divorce immediately. I even gave the custody of the three-year-old Clifford to Austin right away. Five years later, we meet again at an auction. Austin laces fingers with Stacy while taking Clifford's hand with the other. He mocks me, "It's only been five years, Kendra. You're really that shameless now, huh? You can't wait to latch onto me again now that you've found out I'm here!" Clifford mocks me as well. "Mom… Wait, you should be Ms. Powell to me now. You should stop pestering my dad already. My parents and I are living a very happy life right now." I just ignore them. Instead, I grab my daughter, Faye Gilmore, who has been sneaking food off the table, and steer her back to our seats. But Austin flies into a fit of rage instantly. A vein pops out of his hand, which is still laced with Stacy's fingers. "You really are shameless, Kendra Powell! We've only been separated for five years, yet you already have a daughter that old? I can't believe you're willing to resort to such despicable methods just to make me jealous! Which bastard did you have that bastard child with, huh?"

Mia Johnson's life has been filled with heartache and mistreatment, after her father leaves. Her life takes an unexpected turn when her mother poisons her and her father possesses the antidote to a poison that plagues her, but he remains distant, seemingly never to return. As Mia turns eighteen, her mother devises a shocking plan to secure a business , offering Mia's hand in marriage to a man named Carlos. Trapped and desperate, Mia's life seems destined for misery until a mysterious man enters her life. On a fateful night, a stranger quietly slips into Mia's room, offering food and concern for her well-being. Their chance encounter marks the beginning of a unique connection, one that will leave Mia questioning the true intentions of this enigmatic man named Dave. Days later, Mia meets the same handsome stranger in a shopping mall. She looked up at him. "You were the man in my room that night..." "Do you let men in your room at night? If you don't want visitors, don't skip your meals," Dave responds stubbornly. Mia discovers that Dave is adopted by her own biological father, a man of immense power and influence in the country. But their relationship takes an unexpected turn when Dave confesses his true feelings. "Big brother wants to you, Mia," Dave admits, leaving Mia shocked and confused. Struggling to come to terms with her emotions, Mia rejects the idea of romance with her "brother." However, Dave is determined to shed the brotherly label, longing to become her partner in love. “No… you are my brother and ten tears older than me…” she says while trembling. Dave takes a step towards her. “Who cares about being your brother? I want you… I want to make you mine, forever…”