Food Jokes Novels & Stories

Jasamina Rutherford was forced by her parents to marry a politician who's so much years older than she is, because they wanted money and social influence. Ludale McCully is a beast in human form and a psycho. He abused her a lot. But, when she gave birth to her baby and he beat her so badly, Jasamina damned all the consequences and ran away with her new born baby. Out on the cold streets; bruised and battered, no food, money or supplies, and with a baby hidden inside her coat, she was at the end of her rope when she ran into him. ***** Tanner Dantes lost his family in the most brutal way a person would loose a lost one. It was so traumatizing and horrifying that he took to the streets. He drank himself to stupor, just to keep the memories at bay. Sober is not an option, because sober means remembering. Then, a woman ran into him one cold dark night. She was so bruised, there was no part of her body that wasn't 'occupied' with either a fresh or an old wound/bruise/scar. And, she has a baby strapped so protectively inside her clothes. She fainted in his arms. . . A woman on the run from her powerful psychotic husband and a man who'll drink himself to death than to go sober and let reality in. How will they heal? Was she able to escape her husband? With Tanner's state of mind threatened, will be help Jasamina? Can he stay sober long enough? Especially when she reminds him of everything he's trying to forget? With this two damaged soul trying to wrap their lives around each other, how did they overcome their greatest enemy of all? Why don't you go on this ride with me, let's find out!

All the relatives knew I had a "backward cousin." For my birthday, she gave me a grocery-store pound cake. When I ran a marathon, she presented me with a pair of worn-out canvas sneakers. At my graduate school acceptance party, she even sent a funeral wreath of white lilies with a sash that read "In Sympathy," wishing me an early departure to the afterlife. In my previous life, I slapped her so hard she tumbled down the porch steps. My brother took her side and plotted revenge, falsely reporting to the university that I had cheated on my SATs. My admission was revoked. "You're so modern. You know how things work," he sneered. "Plenty of people take a gap year. Just apply again." My father also defended her, cutting off all my financial support. "You've had so much schooling. You're so educated," he said coldly. "Support yourself." Alone in a city eighteen hundred miles from home, I fought to survive. I called my brother and my father again and again—only to be blocked. I delivered food while renting a room and studying to reapply. At my lowest, my hands were raw and cracked from frostbite, scrambling for delivery shifts at four in the morning just to earn a small bonus. Worn down by the cold and exhaustion, I suffered cardiac arrest at twenty-three and collapsed in a snowdrift in that unfamiliar city. No one ever came to claim me. This time, I chose to let it go and accepted the wreath with a gracious smile. To fully integrate myself into this family. After all, what is a moment of pride compared to a lifetime's inheritance?

The day before our engagement, Stellan Graves came shopping with me, but his mind was clearly elsewhere. I bought a chili dog from a street stall and held it up to his mouth only for him to swat it out of my hand, sending it flying to the ground. Fury flashed across his face as he snapped, "Ivy Stein, the Graves family needs a woman who can actually show her face in public. Stop buying cheap trash like this. You're embarrassing me. How do you expect my parents to accept you like this?" I picked up the food in humiliation, threw it into the trash, and nodded meekly for the sake of our four years together in college. "As you wish." … However, the very next day, he switched his fiancee to Amelia Lane. "Ivy, Amelia tried to kill herself just to marry me. She's in the hospital now. Once she's stable again, I'll come back and marry you." Four years later, he showed up at my tiny apartment with a diamond ring in hand. "Ivy, Amelia has already agreed to divorce me. We can finally be together. I told you before—once Amelia lets go of her obsession with me and stops hurting herself, I'll come and marry you." I frowned at Stellan's so-called heartfelt expression. I must have had terrible luck that day. Who'd have thought I'd run into this wacko when I'd come back to my place on a whim?! "Move," I demanded, shoving him out the door. "You're blocking the way. I need to pick up my kid from school."

She was betrayed by her husband and her best-friend. Then her 7-year-old son was diagnosed with blood cancer. The only way to save him? Have another baby with the man who broke her. Tell me… Which child is she allowed to lose? If you are a woman, a wife, or a single mother, a woman who has ever had to be strong when she felt like breaking and you come across this video please stop scrolling for a moment. This is for you, i see you.I see the nights you stayed awake worrying about school fees, hospital bills, rent, food while pretending during the day that everything was fine. I see the silent tears you wiped before your children walked into the room.The way you swallowed your pain so they wouldn’t taste it.,I see how tired you are and how sometimes you sit in the bathroom just to breathe. How sometimes you question yourself and wonder if you are doing enough. I want you to know that you are more than enough because I I was raised by a mother who carried storms inside her and still made our home feel safe. She struggled, sacrificed and endured things I didn’t even understand until I grew older. And today, I am grateful for her strength because she taught me something powerful because mother’s love is not ordinary. It is fierce,  stubborn, sacrificial, unstoppable. And that is what my book, Married to My Best Friend’s Husband, represents. Yes, it talks about betrayal and heartbreak, but at its core, the struggle of motherhood. Married to My Best Friend’s Husband – A story that will break you and rebuild you.

"Do you still have a boyfriend?" He asked with a mocking tone. "I thought that ship sailed already. I do not bite Sunflower. The last time we spoke, you said you like what you see." Simon said standing up. He went over to her, shifted her food aside and sat on the same spot. "The only excuse you gave for not wanting to feel what I have to offer, was your boyfriend. Is the excuse still valid?" He asked with a sensual smile touching her cheeks gently with the pad of his thumb while the other hand found his newly discovered spot, the crease of her ears. "Imagine the level of pleasure I would give you. I am a very patient man when it comes to my desires and I am not greedy as well. Your pleasure, would be my pleasure." He reassured her with a smile. He got down from the table and walked over to her, standing behind her. Slowly, he sucked on her neck. "Mmm," came the suppressed moan from Paige with her eyes shut. "Shhhh, you don't want to disturb the people behind those doors." He said. Money was top of Paige Patterson's priority list while Love didn't even make it to the list. There were too many bills to pay and a childhood memory to secure. The Kentleys seemed to be her only hope to financial freedom but the price was way too much for her. With Simon Kentley, she would be able to sort out all her needs but would she be able to sort any of his? Other Books By The Author. •You Are Mine For Keeps •Loved By A Real Man

A young girl is married off to an Alpha by her parents against her will. She is forced to leave her old life behind and move in with the Alpha, who is known for his power and control within the pack. Despite her initial resistance, she eventually comes to accept her new life alongside Alpha Aiden. However, she soon realizes that the Alpha is a cruel and abusive man who uses his position to control her every move. Aiden wanted the title and in order to receive it he had to take a wife. As Grabiela is about to enter his life, Aiden decides to make it fun and turn it into a game, with her as the main pond, between him and his friends. When the abuse and lies weigh too heavy she realizes that she has to leave but will he let her go? Or will he tighten his grip and lock the doors? ”I’m guessing the meeting wasn't to talk about the food arrangements for when you take over the pack?” ”They’ve arranged for me to marry Gabriella Santos from the Trimoon pack,” ”So what, when have you ever backed down from a challenge?” ”How is tying my life to another in marriage, a challenge?” ”The challenge is to make her submit to you.” ”We’ll make it more interesting-” ”- I bet you won't be able to get it done before the end of the year,” ”I’ll have her submitting to me by the end of the month,” ”Not just submit. You have to have her wrapped around your finger, hopelessly in love with you by the end of the year,” ”Ten grand to whoever wins,” ***Explicit sexual abuse, violence, and otherwise TW scenes later in the book. Will warn in Author Notes***

Su Tze , 26 years old top world assassin. She was known as the Black Rose in the black underworld before she was blown with her two teammates at the ship after they killed all the targets on the ships in year 2040 . After she thought she was died , she wokes up in year year 80th . She is known as Su Ling a 15 years old girl in a poor family . Her father, Su Min is a cripple scholar that send to work in the farming village . Her mother Ling Mei, fourth daughter of Ling family that renowned by the family after Su Min become cripple a year before she transmigrate . She had two younger sister and two younger brother . They live at the foot of mountain in a small house with two rooms . She was transmigration with her spatial space . " Fuh, lucky I had saved many foods and things in my space . Lucky all the things I kept are still in it . " . " She take a breath and vow to make her family had enough food and the richest family in the village . General Xing Li Zhi . A genius young general who become a general when he was just twenty years old . Xing family as the root family of the county city with most of the men in tha family are from the military department . His eldest brother is a minister in his 26 years old . His eldest sister is the succesfull bussineswoman in her 25 years old . His second brother is a mejar general in the Navy . His father is the admiral of the Navy . His mother is the owner of four famous restaurants . His grandfather is the retired military admiral and a respectful veteran with many achievements . His grandmother is the lovely and sweet old lady who admired by all the generations .

Kang Jae Woon is the youngest prosecutor in his department. With his handsome appearance, outstanding achievement, and powerful family background, he is being admired and envied at the same time by many people. One day, his best friend, Han Ryan is murdered by a serial killer and Jae Woon felt his world is crumbling down. Due to his excessive sadness, Jae Woon drowns himself in alcohol at his house, alone. He drunk and snacking food until his body suddenly convulsed in an allergic reaction. "Shit! Who the fuck put almonds in my snack?! I clearly remind the salesgirl to not put any almond in my baggage! Damn it! Where is my medicine?!" As he's groping around in agony, searching for his precious medicine, Jae Woon felt his body plopped on the bed as his consciousness faded and darkness is embracing his body. How miserable. To think I would die because of a stupid almond...Ryan will be laughing when he heard this. ------ "Wake up, you pig!" A harsh voice is jolted him away from his sleeping state. At the same time, his body is being drenched by a bucket of smelly water. "Since you're a pig, you didn't mind to bathe in poop, right?" Mocking waves of laughter are resounding in the dark, small room. Three boys and one girl are looking down at him with disgusted expressions plastered on their faces. One of the boys is holding an empty bucket. Jae Woon is dumbfounded. Wha...? Where is he? No, no, no. Actually, who are these pompous brats?! How dare they...Jae Woon suddenly felt that something is wrong with his body. He had difficulty in moving around and felt extremely sluggish. What is this?! Since when his slender and sturdy body changed into a piggy in just one night?!

To transfer my sister, Suri Voss, who was 13 years younger than I was, to a new school district, I took 7 days of annual leave and went back to my hometown. I pulled strings, delivered gifts, called in favors, and finally forced a spot for her in the best middle school in the city. At last, when I could pause long enough to catch my breath, I told Mom, who was heading out to buy groceries, that I wanted grilled pork ribs for dinner. Suri walked over with a cold expression, then threw a full glass of icy water straight onto my head and pointed at my face as she exploded. "You country leech, mooching off our family for years, eating our food and living in our house whenever you feel like it. I let all that slide. Now you want to steal my mom too? Do you have any shame at all?! "Listen carefully, Mom only has one child. She will only ever love me!" I stood there, stunned. Suri had no idea I was Mom’s biological daughter, too. All this time, she had treated me as some freeloading relative. I looked toward the doorway, where Mom was changing her shoes to go out. She seemed not to have heard a single word of Suri’s disrespect. She merely said casually, "Suri doesn’t like ribs. Let’s have grilled shrimp instead." She had forgotten that I’ve been severely allergic to seafood since childhood. I lowered my head and let out a quiet, self-mocking laugh. Unbeknownst to them, if I could secure Suri a place in that school, I could just as easily make sure she lost it.

Everyday! Bryce Armstrong has bullied me for the last four years since I moved here in my ninth-grade year because ever since, I messed up his shoes! Well, it's a long story, but I ran into him on my first day and knocked all my food over his brand-new shoes. So ever since that incident, he started making my life a nightmare. Ever since that day, he hated me! So, one night, Williow goes to a party but needs to know whose house it is. But when her cousin Maryann tells her where they are going, Williow doesn't know whose house it is until she sees a familiar face on the wall of this house! Bryce Armstrong! The guy who hates her guts and he promised to make her life a living hell. What would happen if she woke up the following day with her face on a half-naked guy's chest? But what if the half-naked guy is no other than the guy who made his life mission in high school to make her life suffer, and he always told her he would enjoy it when he did? What would happen when willow grabs her shoes off the floor and slowly opens the door when she tries to walk out? Before she can do that, she hears something behind her. She gasped when she felt a hand wrapped around her waist and pulled back, and her back was on his hard stomach. "So, no kiss goodbye?" She heard his deep raspy chuckle behind her. She was caught! Now it's too late, and Her monster got her in his lair. The Story of The Girl Behind the Book! High School Bully Romance.