Forks And Knives Joke

Roxanne Grant has always been one to live her life according to her rules. Blessed with a handsome and capable fiancé and a dream job, she couldn’t have imagined a life better, until she discovers that her fiancé had been cheating with his secretary for a long time. Enraged and heartbroken, Roxanne decides to take revenge but accidentally bumped into Lance Laurent, Los Angeles’s hottest bachelor and heir to Laurent cop and the stepbrother of his fiancé. After that one steamy night, things began to get more complicated, spiraling out of Roxanne’s control and down a lane of lust. And much to her surprise, the L.A’s hottest bachelor doesn't plan on letting go of her anytime soon. ** ** ** "Thinking of another man while having me? Tell me, is my time a joke to you, woman?” Lance had grabbed her chin to meet his gaze harshly. With his words, Roxanne grinned as she placed the last of her concerns behind. Wrapping her legs around his waist and pulled him closer, she answered him in a slurry voice. “You have my full attention now, so you better make it worth the while.”

On the day that I returned to the country, Lola Lawson, the one who was once the love of my life for ten years, sent me a picture of a baby. She told me to think of a name and meet her at the city hall to register the baby, as she had prepared a welcome-home gift for me. So, I rushed over with bags full of baby supplies. But when I arrived, she and her girlfriends were bent over with ridicule and laughter. "I told you! Even though he was gone for a year, he's still a loyal lapdog! Just a wave of my hand and he'd even be willing to raise someone else's kid for me!" She sized me up with mocking amusement. "Kevin Sheraton. How could you still be this naive? Just one joke and you come running?" They laughed without any restraint, calling me names and hurling insults, saying I'd do anything for Lola. But when I walked past them and took a number to register my own child's birth, and later wrapped my arm around my wife as the three of us took a family portrait, Lola's eyes were completely reddened with tears.

On our engagement day, my fiancee, Lucille Perry, had her childhood best friend, Derek Miller, show up with a box of handmade cookies as a gift. Out of basic courtesy, I picked one up and took a bite. Derek and a few of his buddies burst out laughing. "This mama's boy can't even recognize his own mother's ashes!" My stomach churned violently. Shocked and furious, I lunged at him to throw a punch, but Lucille desperately held me back. Derek looked at me smugly and grinned. "Since you already ate it, why don't you tell everyone how your mom tastes?" I was so angry that I kicked him right in the face. However, Lucille turned around and slapped me hard across the cheek. "Spencer Bourdain, is this really necessary? Can't you take a joke? Eating a little bit of ashes won't kill you. Look at how petty you're being!" My heart went completely numb. I quietly pulled out my phone and sent a message to a certain number. [The wedding reception is ready. All we need now is you, the bride-to-be.]

Rowan Remington finally accepted my marriage proposal.  He told me to dress up, saying he had prepared a surprise for me.  But when I arrived in my finest attire, Rowan did not present himself as the groom.  Turning to my half-sister, Lisa, with a playful smile, he said, “You always complain that weddings are tedious and dull. Today, I’ll show you an interesting one. What do you think?”  Just then, my elder half-brother, Miles, loudly declared, “The wedding is on hold!”  Suddenly, my childhood friend, Nathan Keller hurled a water balloon—prepared in advance—at me and it smashed down on my head, completely drenching me.  Rowan arched a teasing brow at me. “It was just a joke, Tessa. You didn’t actually think I was going to marry you, did you?”  The so-called wedding was nothing more than a farcical performance to entertain Lisa, who was suffering from depression.  As I stood in stunned silence, Rowan chuckled and added, “If you’re that desperate to get married, why not pick someone from the guests and tie the knot right now?”  So, I did.  I walked down the aisle with a new groom in hand.  That’s when they panicked.

"You stupid whore," Jasper snarls, fingers bruising my arms as he shakes me like trash. "Name the bastard who touched what's mine or I'll carve that filthy seed from your womb and make you watch it die." ---- One reckless night of freedom. A shadowed stranger's fangs at my throat and his thick cock splitting me open while he growls filthy promises: “Cum on this cock, you lying little virgin bitch. Squeeze me like the greedy cumdump you’ve always been. I’m gonna flood your womb so deep you’ll carry my seed while you swear forever to another man.” ---- And my perfect mafia wedding shatters at the altar. I collapse and wake up pregnant. Shame ignites bloodlust. Families roar “puttana sporca,” “troia incinta,” knives flashing, abortion demanded. My body becomes a battlefield.. flesh to gut, erase, and own. When all hope seemed lost, the door crashes open and the room freezes. Jasper drops to a bow, whispering, “Father.” The monster strides in: Dax Blackthorne, untouchable werewolf alpha, empire-killer. He squats beside me, inhales my scent, voice low and lethal and ask, “Why do I smell my pup in you?” I stare from the stranger… to my husband bowing low… and horror slams home. I’m carrying my father-in-law’s child. One drunken, savage knot had produced an impossible heir. In a blood-soaked empire of werewolf dominance, mafia wars, and taboo claims, a fragile human girl must harden into venom or be devoured by the men who believe her womb, her body, and her fate already belong to them. One filthy mistake. One forbidden pup. And now everything burns.

“I, Julius Armstrong, reject Doris Charles as my mate.” The laughter came right after. This was the second time my mate rejected me because I cannot talk. In the pack, they call me dumb not because I am stupid, but because I am mute. When I turned eighteen, my first mate rejected me for that reason. Today, it was the Gamma. He is twenty-one, the same age as the Alpha and Beta. This was his third rejection. The first girl was too fat, the second was too short and now, I was dumb. I never wanted to attend the mating ceremony. I knew how it would end, but my stepmother forced me to go, and my stepsisters came just to watch me get mocked again. The next day, wolves who had found their mates returned to officially claim them before the Alpha and pack leaders. I went only because I was forced, just to stand there and watch my stepsister get chosen. Then something happened that no one expected. The Alpha claimed me as his mate in front of everyone. Was I shocked? Yes. Did I believe him? No. Did I think it was a cruel joke? Absolutely. Because no Alpha would choose a rejected, mute girl like me.

Before my wedding, my vision which I lost after saving Bruce unexpectedly returned. Overjoyed, I hurried to share the wonderful news with him, but as I stepped into the living room, I froze. Bruce and my cousin, Kerry, were in a passionate embrace. "Bruce, the baby is perfectly healthy now. The doctor said we can sleep together again! Why don't we do it right here in the living room? Also, isn't it thrilling to do it here while Nancy is asleep in her room?" "Shut up! Don't joke about my wife like that!" Bruce snapped at her, but his reprimand was accompanied by a kiss. I stood there, watching in shock as their movements grew more intense and their breathing became heavier. Only then did I piece it all together. Their sudden shared enthusiasm for indoor workouts six months ago wasn't about fitness at all. Covering my mouth to stifle a sob, I turned back to my room and shut the door. I decided then and there: Bruce didn't need to know I had recovered. Reaching for my phone, I dialed my mother. "Mom, I'm not marrying Bruce anymore. I'll marry the comatose heir of the Blakes instead. I don't need Bruce in my life."

Katherine Dalton was once the pride of the Blackwood Pack. As the Beta’s daughter, she thought she had everything, a happy family and a bright future—to be Alpha Harrison’s Luna. She loved Harrison deeply for five years. But fate had other plans. Her best friend was claimed by Alpha Harrison as his fated mate, only to die shortly after, and Katherine became the prime suspect. Faced with the Beta rank and her brother’s future, her parents abandoned her. Alpha Harrsion threw her into prison, despite her countless repeated that she never killed Elisa. In prison, she endured endless torment and lost her connection with her wolf. She never thought she would be freed again by a stranger. But Harrison hasn’t done with her. He forbade any pack from taking her in, unless she became a slave or a whore. Katherine vowed she would never forgive him. Until the Moon Goddess played a cruel joke, binding them together as second chance mates. As the secrets behind the murder begin to unravel, Harrison regrets and refuses to let her go again. But is it already too late? And Harrison’s rebellious half-brother turned to be the very man who freed Katherine from the jail. Now we have a broken woman, two unwilling Alphas, and two mate bonds.

After the tragic death of my best friend, I took her younger brother in and treated him like my own. Everyone knew how much Zach Lawson meant to me, so much so that I vowed not to marry because I could not bear leaving him. The day he turned eighteen, he got on one knee and asked me to marry him. With tears of joy streaming down my face, I took the bouquet from him, only to realize they were made of writhing snakes. Everyone laughed at my misfortune. It was an artfully crafted joke, at my expense. Thalia Lewis laced her arm through Zach's and grinned. "Sorry about that, Sydney. It was just an innocent prank. Zach is willing to do anything to make me smile!" Zach gave me a look of utter disgust. "Is this what you think of me? You're my sister! How can you even think of marrying me? This is vile! Is this the reason you took me in? Have you been secretly pining for me since the start?" My whole life had come crashing down around me. I was overcome with shock, misery, and despair, until Connor Grey showed up and asked for my hand in marriage.

One year ago, my life was picture perfect. I have a loving family and a boyfriend who adore me, Elias. He is wolfless but his Alpha father think him capable of leading the pack, and I was to become his Luna. Jasper, Elias’s younger brother took advantage of his good-natured wolfless brother and forced him out when the old Alpha died suddenly. When I saw the blood on Jasper’s hands, I knew I would never see Elias again. Then I find out this evil usurper is my mate. Jasper’s unstable temper and lust became a constant in my life. My body craves him, the bond between us was undeniable, a cruel joke played by the moon goddess. Then one day, with his cold voice he told me he is going to reject me, and he did. At the coronation ceremony of his new Luna, I discover that my second chance mate is actually the mysterious Lycan King. What’s even more shocking is that except for the color of his eyes, this Lycan King looks exactly like my dead Elias. Who is he? Will he be my salvation or another nightmare? If he is Elias, how can I face him?