Funniest Dark Humor Jokes

Olive came home one day to find her one and only long-term boyfriend balls deep inside her roommate. With her heart crushed, her fighting spirit from hell, and her best friend at her side, she sets out to prove a point. She can be with anyone, if she wants to be. She finds the hottest guy at the nightclub, and has her one night stand with a stranger. In a turn of events, Liv meets Leo, Lucas's best friend, on campus through an accidnet. unaway of the relationship between the two Liv agrees to hang out with Leo and a group of friends unexpectedly running into Lucas again. Lucas, the billionaire playboy, is determined to make her his, but so is Leo, the sweet and innocent billionaire. How will these best friends handle fighting for the same girl? With the trauma of the past sneaking into their lives who will Liv choose? Only one of them gets the girl.*********"If you keep biting your lip like that I won't be able to contain myself." I could feel the warmth of his breath fan over my lips, making me hungry to feel them against me. I bit my lip again as my way of giving him permission. He gave me a sexy smirk before he crashed his lips against mine. His hands gripped at my hips, lifting me up and placing me on the kitchen island. I parted my legs allowing his torso between them as he grabbed my bottom, while parting my lips with his tongue. I let him explore my mouth with a soft moan. His hands left my rear, traveling up my thighs, pushing my dress up along the way. He ran his finger over my dampening slit. "I want to know what you taste like, Rose."

As a child, Rohan is forced to flee from Jade Earth to the realm of mortals; after witnessing the brutal and painful murder of his mother. Then closing his heart to mankind, Rohan lives in mental seclusion as a seed of guilt planted deep within his heart grows. However, a fascination on the new found realm flourishes after he meets Danica Stewart; a carefree Parapsychologist who is hell-bent on uncovering the mystery behind her parent’s sudden death. What happens then, when unknown and untold truths are brought to the light. How far can Rohan and Danica go to watch how fate unveils the predestined chapters of their lives, where bluebloods and mortals do not coexist.

Dark romance" (18+) " "It's fucking driving me insane thinking that my seed are growing inside you." ______________________ Vincent, a man shrouded in mystery, powerful, and dangerous with a stone carved face impossible to read. The city trembled at the mention of his name. Vincent Sullivan, the enigmatic and feared businessman, and a mafia boss, whose empire was built on shadows and secrets. Aria is a young woman, with innocence and purity in her heart. Aria lives a simple life with her mother, finding happiness in the small life moments. She doesn't need riches to live happily; she only has a steady job to support them both. Her heart craves peace and a life free from excess. For her, true joy lies in peace, not in chasing wealth. Then everything fell apart. A contract. A marriage. And a man who felt less human and more like a shadow. A contract heavy with conditions. When Aria's innocence collides with Vincent's dark obsession, her peaceful world crashes. A manipulator consumed by his need to possess her, he craves her purity with a hunger he can't control. This book contains:- - Mature content - Vulgar language

Ayon kay Lao Tzu, a Chinese philosopher, be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you—na siyang isinasabuhay ko. I only have my mother and my two friends, Charlynn and Reisha. My mother works for Charlynn's family. We are not really poor and definitely we're also not rich but we're living comfortably. Nevertheless, I am contented with my life. But, after meeting the man that I like, I started to dream for more. I started to ask for more just to equal his riches even though I know for sure that it was impossible. Life is meaningful. Full of life lessons, full of challenges, and battles that you need to surpass. Pero no'ng nawala sa akin si Mama, iyon ang hindi ko kinaya. Sinisi ko sa lahat ang pagkawala niya. Nagtanim ako ng galit sa pamilya na tinuturing kong pangalawa kong pamilya. And he was there, just accepting my madness. But, what if everything that I believed was all a lie? Paano kung lahat ng sinisi ko, maling tao? Would I be able to get to his life again? Or our memory will remain just like how we first met? Dark.

(R-18)Story of a girl who lost everything in life. But only one thing left her sufferings. She wants nothing but want to find the biggest mystery of her life that change everything. When she is suffering, she met a person which change her life. In this world he gives her everything she wanted. Let see how can a human become the light of someone lost path? And how can both overcome their difficulties together? And live a happy life with each other after many years of tears. Follow me on Instagram to know more about my work: @shinecl17 (This work is unedited)

"I don't need you" "but I need only you" "leave me" "leaving you it will never happen angel" Dhruv Raj Raizada is the sole king of Raizada business empire he is a coldhearted CEO who never believes in love or emotions he is sn emotionless person people fears for his dark ruthless cold aura he is the most eligible batchelor who never dated anyone because of a dark past he hates girls and lies He is ruthless to outer world but a kind and sweet boy to his mother what made this sweet guy to ruthless??? Will he fall in love??? What if he falls in love with a lie??? What happens when he fall in love with the person whose background is the reason of his hatred....... to whom he gives more importance to love or to hatred??? Sriste Royal is the only heiress of Royal group of companies her only world is her family she is rich, arrogant, egoistic perfect tomboy but destiny planned something different in her life destiny made this tomboy badass girl to act as a naive girl She entered into his life on a purpose but ended up loving him more than anything can she break ice barrier to make love bloom... Who is sriste Royal?? what is the relation between sriste and dhruv?? Why sriste schemed and entered into dhruv's life??... He is ruthless She is stubborn A tale of hatred love Love of two opposite poles War of love between truths and lies.... War of love between life and death.... Love of two distinct characters..... What is going to win love or hate??? this book contains CEO Romance, love, family, friendship, violence and mature content read at your own risk To know more follow the journey of LOVE ME IN THE DARK

Kendra is a party girl living her life to the fullest. When she is kidnapped by a sexy werewolf she is pulled into a DDLG relationship. Kendra tries hard to cope with her new circumstances, but the Alpha of the Blue Moon Pack has it out for her.

A large TV company Kikanasih Company with Eka Tanaya as the President is going to marry Rina, a famous daughter who just lost her whole company due to accumulated debt to Kikanasih company. Rina is now forced to be married to Eka to repay her family debt and her mother's medical expenses. At first, Rina only thought of his husband as a narcissistic power-hungry man who loves to tease her and bully her as a merely arrogant President who loves to bully the weak. However, after living in a false marriage life with Eka she's starting to see another looming darkness that shrouds Eka's life.

Amanda White, the first daughter of Baron Broke, must fulfill her destiny as the bride of the Black Prince for the sake of royal politics. Rumor had it that the Black Prince had previously killed his two wives right after their first night. Unfortunately, Amanda White had no other choice but to undergo the forced marriage. On the other hand, the Black Prince also felt burdened to marry Amanda White, because she was a distant relative of the Queen, someone he hated the most. Various conflicts also colored the marriage and the twists and turns of royal affairs. Would Amanda White be able to find happiness in the forced marriage? Did the Black Prince even know what 'love' was?

Imprisoned for years, Astrid Sterling burns for vengeance against the pack that executed her parents. But freedom comes with a cruel twist: she's fated to Kieran, the Alpha's son and her sworn enemy. Just as she grapples with his brutal claim, a second, profound mate bond pulls her to his enigmatic brother, Rhys. Forced to choose between them, Astrid's world shatters further when she unearths her true identity as a powerful hybrid, and discovers a third, forbidden mate: a Vampire Lord tied to her deepest secrets. Now, caught between duty, desire, and a thirst for truth, can she survive three fated bonds without losing herself, or unleashing a power that could destroy them all?