Funniest Spongebob Jokes Novels & Stories

[How do you avoid the darkly handsome Beta that wants to... eat you?] Camilla: I was sent to Alpha Jackal’s mansion to pay off my foster parent’s debt. It wasn’t something I feared until I learned that Rin, the pack's Beta, is a powerful demon. Now I'm stuck under the same roof as Rin, and there is no chance of avoiding him. I wish I could. Why? Because a demon murdered my parents in cold blood. I fear Rin. Demons are monstrous, which is why it must be one of life's cruel jokes to have inserted Rin into my life. Rin: I should stay away from the new housekeeper, but how could I possibly keep away from the seductive she-wolf? She is gorgeous, and my Alpha would punish me if he knew badly I wanted her to sit on my face, squirming and moaning my name. He can never know the truth, especially not since he seems interested in her too.

"Huh," she said awkwardly, looking at her hands. Seriously, Grace, just die; she cursed herself. "But you know the funniest thing..." he said, now standing in front of her, since when, she wondered. As he traced the line of her ears with his thumb, she shivered in excitement. Boy! Who would have thought she was sensitive in that area? He forced her head up with his hand. "I am going to have you here and now, Grace, and it won’t be a joke." Grace Bush, the only child of a prominent Canadian family known for her selflessness, and sweetness, experiences a tragic incident on the happiest day of her life, resulting in the loss of her entire family. Left as the only survivor, she undergoes a profound transformation from a sweet innocent child to a wild and self-centered individual. In order to claim her late father's wealth, she decided to train herself in a well-known firm, facing unexpected challenges. Just as she contemplates giving up, fate presents her with a life-altering job opportunity, offering an escape from her troubled hometown, or did it? Noah Creed, the handsome billionaire CEO of The S.O publishing industry in New York, appears to have it all – wealth, looks, and success. Despite being divorced three times, a father, and engaged, he has never truly understood or desired love until he encounters Grace Bush, a wild and unpredictable newcomer in his film industry. Little does he know, their meeting will open a new chapter in his life.

Roxanne Rowan is a spiritual news editor. After an accident in the year twenty-two, Roxanne Rowan was able to see ghosts. She goes around trying to find a way to solve this ability. Her fear of ghosts makes her taciturn and closed off. During an encounter with evil spirits, Roxanne met Egan Griffith, the demon employee of hell. He has the task of catching the demons that are causing trouble in the living world to bring them to hell and punish them. According to the orders of the spirit world, if Roxanne wants to break the ability to see ghosts in her eyes, she must cooperate with Egan to catch the devil spirits. The contract is signed and many bad jokes happen. Roxanne's fate and secret are also revealed. She also realizes that demons come in two forms: disrupting people in the living world and trying to earn money in order to survive like a normal person. Every night, Roxanne has to lie in bed waiting for Egan to finish processing the documents for the company. She doesn’t think from an unequal partnership to rolling in bed so close together.

Have you ever pain so raw it feels like your hear is being dragged out of your heart? The type that breaks into pieces you could never find because they are lost to the wind of scorn and shame. Cassandra carries her pain like a weight on her shoulder everyday despite her smiles and jokes, too young to remember what it felt like to have parents before she lost hers to an accident her grandparents do not like talking about she is trying to find the little good life has in store for her. But she is given a brutal awakening when the one person she thought would bring her much needed happiness tosses her aside. So Cassandra runs away from it all, she runs far enough to never feel the despair looming behind her. And she runs into the arms of Ray, handsome, cocky, but caring, considerate, and loving. Cassandra is about to find out love works without the mate ties and build bonds with the most unlikely people. Cassandra is about to find the love acceptance she always yearned for in the most unlikely place.

It’s all fun and games until a body washes up…. Beth Monroe just wants to make it through the summer baseball season without being the constant target of her brother Shane’s jokes, but he is relentless, and she’s ready to lock herself in her room and hide. Until the new girl shows up. Halley appears in small town Barryville like a ghost. No one knows where she came from or anything about her past, not even her last name. When she gives Beth a piece of unsolicited advice that, “It’s what’s on the outside that counts,” Beth changes everything about herself. By the time Beth realizes she’s becoming a monster, it might be too late, and Halley has already sunk her claws into Beth’s best friend Ryan—who might’ve been something more if Beth had opened her eyes a little earlier. As Halley’s past catches up to her, Beth realizes there’s more to this mysterious girl than she realized. Can she stop Halley from revealing her true, monstrous nature to Ryan before it’s too late?

After eight years of marriage, I finally get pregnant with Claude Frey's child. It's my sixth round of IVF, and my last chance. The doctor says I can't put my body through it again. I'm overjoyed, ready to share the good news with him. But a week before our anniversary, I received an anonymous photo in the mail. In it, he was bending down to kiss another woman's pregnant belly. That woman is his childhood sweetheart, the one his family watched grow up. She's gentle and well-mannered, and the kind of daughter-in-law every parent dreams of. The funniest part is that his entire family knows about her pregnancy, except me. I'm just the punchline in their joke. It turns out that the marriage I've been holding together despite all my wounds is nothing but a carefully crafted lie. Fine. I don't want Claude anymore, and I'll never let my child be born into a world built on lies. I book my ticket to leave on our eighth anniversary. It's also the very day he's supposed to take me to see the sea of roses. Before we got married, he promised me a sea of flowers all my own. But instead, I find him in front of the rose garden, kissing his pregnant childhood sweetheart. After I leave, he starts searching for me everywhere. "Don't go, please?" he begs. "I was wrong. Don't leave." He finally remembers the promise he'd made to me and plants the most beautiful roses in the world in that garden. But I don't need it anymore.

She is a free spirit, trapped in a bird cage of death, danger and despair. Little Alessa has always known one thing above all- she was born to be the perfect Principessa of the Cosa Nostra, the Italian Mafia. She was urged to smile when asked to, laugh even when the jokes were anything but funny, charming to all who were allies. She was perfection incarnate...well, that's what they think. They know nothing of her wild abandon, of her plans to be anything but the perfect princess, royalty of a world dredged so deep in blood, she choked on it. Her plans to run were absolute...well, until HE came along. The mysterious Pakan-a Don like her father- shielded by the shadows that he ruled from. He was the anomaly that she least expected. He destroyed her plans and she hated him for it. So why then does her heart beat so fast when he is near? Why is he the one she thinks about before she sleeps? Why does she so long to see him when she's sad? She wanted the freedom, the life beyond the shadows and explore the world. But Emerald colored eyes, cocky smirks, rough hands, cigarettes and darkness were starting to look a little more appealing...

While I was in the middle of getting intimate with my boyfriend, Hendrick West, a sudden burst of laughter came from under the bed. A chill ran straight through me. I shoved Hendrick away, scrambling to get up and check, but he pushed me right back down. "You're spacing out at a time like this? Guess you don't get to leave this bed today." I didn't question it. I let myself get pulled back in, eyes slipping shut as I tried to relax. Then the bedframe slammed loudly from underneath. I yelped and shrank under the blanket. A second later, his best friend burst out from under the bed, laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. "No wonder you've been ditching us lately," Linda Fairbank said, grinning. "If I had such a horny girlfriend, I'd forget my friends, too!" The humiliation hit so hard that my face went pale. But Linda didn't care. She reached over and started tugging at my blanket. "He won't stop going on about how soft and full you are. What are you hiding for? Let me take a look." Hendrick finally stepped in, trying to stop her when she went too far. Linda just smacked his bare backside without hesitation. "I've been stuck under that bed forever waiting on you," she said lazily. "And instead of taking care of me first, you're busy standing up for someone else?" Without missing a beat, Hendrick took her calf into his hands and started massaging it. She shot me a smug, challenging smile. I picked up my phone and called Hendrick's mother. I said evenly, "Julie, are you aware that your son lets other people run his life like this?"

In Black Salt, love is a sickness you can’t hide—a slow gnawing beneath the skin that leaves you hollowed, grayed, and eventually gone. No one stays long enough to see it through; they leave before the rot finishes its work. It’s what the town teaches you: when it starts, you run. You look away. You survive by pretending not to feel. But Atlas is tired of pretending. The halls of Black Salt High are full of kids pretending they don’t see each other’s bruised hearts, pretending their bones aren’t already whispering warnings. Still, he can’t forget the weight of a father who stayed—not out of love, but because he never felt it deep enough to decay. That truth lingers in Atlas like a second shadow. And then there’s Nova—the outsider with a storm in her bones. And Wren, all sharpness and fight. Milo, who cracks jokes to keep the silence at bay. Luce, who wears her thorns like jewelry. Together, they don’t know how to stop the rot. But they’re learning how to sit with it, how to name it, how to refuse the small, hollow deaths of pretending not to care. In a town where love is a death sentence, staying might be the bravest thing of all.

Mia Nova is sold to the devil to clear her fathers debt. Luca Barone, known in whispered fear as Diavolo, doesn’t just collect money, he also collects souls. Luca expects to meet a broken Mia who will plead for her life with tears and vivid fear. Instead he meets a petty thief who fears nothing. She smiles when he threatens to sell her to men, and makes jokes about her breast size not being enough for these men. In Luca’s world, the biggest currency is fear, but it seems Mia is bankrupt. When she steps into Pandemonium, his secret lair where powerful men are undone, she becomes the queen of the night, raking in five hundred million dollars in her first night. They make a second deal. The freedom of her soul costs six billion dollars in the six months of her gracing the golden chair every night. A kiss seals the deal. That same kiss changes everything between them. He becomes possessive, and she wants to surrender to him, but the ghost of the woman who graced the chair before her, returns with a fire that is set to burn everything down. Mia must decide between running from the Devil who owns her, or staying with the man who no longer wants to.