Funniest Zodiac Signs Novels & Stories

In the Valenti Family, you're born with a chip. It's fused into the bio-watch on your wrist, its digital face counting down every second you have left to live. Everyone could see the numbers ticking down on my twin sister's watch. And on mine. They all knew she would die on our 18th birthday. So Vivian became the untouchable princess of our brutal world. Every diamond-stitched gown was hers. The rarest jewels were hers. Even our father's last shred of humanity was hers. That single sliver of warmth he showed only after his gun was holstered. I used to pity her. Her time was running out. But God, I envied her. She had everything I never did: our parents' love. Then, the night of her 18th birthday party. My parents worried I'd make a scene. That I'd piss off the Don of an allied Family. So they locked me in the cellar. Damp. Cold. While a deadly fever burned through me. I pounded on the heavy oak door, my voice cracking. "Mamma, please! Let me out! I'm burning up. My head is splitting open…" Outside, my mother's voice was a steel trap. "Enough, Sienna! Today is your sister’s 18th birthday. Her last day alive! Stop the theatrics! Can't you suffer in silence for the Family's honor?" "But I'm really sick..." Her footsteps clicked away, fading into nothing. Then the darkness swallowed me whole. And on my wrist, the bio-watch was flashing a critical alert. CRITICAL ALERT: Vital signs mismatch. Paired chip data incompatible. Please verify user.

"W-wait! Someone's comi- ah!" Dylan's gasps were muffled with a kiss that made his legs go weak. "Want me to stop?" The whisper made him shudder. "...no, b-but there's-" "Then be a good boy and focus on me. Spread your legs.” Dylan as an innocent college student knew what he wanted in a guy and coincidentally, the Waltson’s, their new neighbor, had a son Theo who was a perfect fit. But sadly straight and also not single. Aiming to drink out his sorrows at the school party and move on was an act he did not see ending with him sleeping with someone, but having no idea who it was the next morning. Soon, his hunt for the truth gets narrowed down to the Waltson's, and he gets faced with the late realization that Theo wasn’t the only son of the Waltson's. With his elder brother, Lucas, and a mute twin, Kyle, his options of his drunk one night widens from one to three. Lucas and Theo had been present at the party, and Dylan saw his only chance of knowing the truth was getting closer to them. But to do that, he needed the help of Kyle who was anything but nice to him. His constant glares, his mischievous smiles, and his hand signs that get interpreted into nothing but lies. Almost like he was trying his best to keep him away from his brothers. And just when he thought that, he takes up the initiative to search up a sign Kyle had shown to him.  ^^You and him are never going to work out. I'll make sure of that.^^ In the game of finding out what Kyle meant by that, he stumbles across something even bigger. The Waltson's secret

“I reject you.” Three words shattered her soul. Her mate bond severed, her future stolen. But in the silence of heartbreak… the Moon Goddess answered. Four Alphas. Four packs. One Queen Luna to unite them or be their undoing Book One A Choice Lost to Fate Evandra Johnson is the Luna of the Pearl Pack and life is going great.... until it isn't. What she thought was a happy marriage to the love of her life, Jalen, her mate and Alpha, turns to something she doesn't recognize overnight. How did she not see the signs? He chose an Omega over her and now the pack will have a new Luna. Now she is faced with heartbreak, pain, humiliation, and a new sense of hopelessness. She has no family to turn to, no friends outside of the Pearl Pack and nowhere to go. Staying a lone wolf means she accepts the status of a rogue. But approaching another pack's territory could cost her life. After her mate's rejection and being banished from her pack, she must figure out her own way. Although she is a trained warrior and has a fierce wolf spirit within her, many dangers await in the forest. She is weakened by the strain of her mate's rejection, making her vulnerable and putting her at great risk. Can she find herself before her wolf becomes a feral beast she no longer can control, or will she rise above? *Sexually graphic scenes, multiple mates. The Fated Series is a fast-paced shifter romance mini series presented to you in three parts. Book One: A Choice Lost to Fate Book Two: A Choice to Survive Book Three: A Choice Bound in Blood

In my previous life, my boyfriend's adopted younger sister, Rita Wood, came to me at the hospital for a prescription because she had a sore throat. I asked her if she was allergic to any medication, and I even explained the dangers of being allergic to medication. She told me "no" very firmly. When I insisted on producing the informed consent form and having Rita sign it, she started a video call with my boyfriend, Ryan Wood, on the spot. On the screen, Ryan frowned at me before saying coldly, "I know Rita's health very well. She definitely doesn't have a history of allergens. She's my younger sister, so don't keep targeting her over the smallest reasons. I'm very busy, you know. Bye." So, I gave in and prescribed Rita the medication without undergoing the official process. Three days later, Rita showed signs of miscarriage due to her allergy toward the medication, leading to her being sent to an emergency treatment room. Apparently, she hid both her allergy to medication and her pregnancy from me. Thanks to her, I was held accountable for this incident, which led to me losing my chance to get promoted. At the same time, this incident got onto the news as a medical mishap. I ended up getting blacklisted by the medical world permanently. Not only that, but I had to pay off a huge debt. In order to clear the debt, I worked three jobs at the same time through day and night without resting. Finally, I collapsed and never got up ever again on a particularly exhausting night. When I open my eyes again, I've returned to the day Rita is here for a prescription.

Athena Moonville is the daughter of the Alpha and Luna of the Moon Stone Pack. She may not be able to shift as yet but her life is still perfect. She has perfect grades and the perfect boyfriend. Everything seems to be on track until she catches her boyfriend Nate sleeping with her best friend Lia. Heartbroken and angry she runs out into the rain, cursing herself for not seeing the signs of betrayal sooner. That's when she witnesses her parents getting killed by rogues. Before they take their last breaths, her parents tell her not to trust anyone, not even the werewolves from her pack. Now angry and alone, Athena sets off into the woods. She travels for hours until she comes upon a cottage deep in the forest, but before she can enter she collapses from hunger and dehydration.  ********** Alpha Xavier Pureblood is the leader of the Midnight Pack. He is arrogant and hard-headed but very protective. When the elders tell him that the pack needs a Luna to make their pack stronger, he gets angry, since these same elders told him to reject his fated mate years ago because she wasn't from an alpha bloodline.  Frustrated and with his wolf, Exodus at the surface he transforms and runs to Scarlet, his ex-mate's cottage. There he stumbles across a girl passed out on the forest floor. He scoops her up and immediately feels a connection. He finds it weird she doesn't have a scent but his wolf doesn't care, he vows to protect this mysterious beauty at all costs, not knowing she is the wolf from his favourite story as a child, The Legend Of The Arctic Wolf. 

Natalia Shaw and Noah Shaw had always looked very happy to the general public, and everyone who knew the Shaw couple wanted to be like them. But there was something else... Nobody else knew about it, even Natalia's best friend, but Noah had a bad habit of hurting Natalia. It had started out small, like all bad habits did, but then later, Noah had morphed into someone that Natalia could not recognize. Piero Teodoro D' Ricci was Noah newest acquaintance, and he got invited to Noah's home by Noah, himself. Piero is able to recognize the signs of abuse, no matter how subtle, and after meeting Natalia, the warning bells in his head kicked in. He left their house eventually, promising to get to the heart of the case. He met Natalia again in a social gathering, and then he proceeded to use that to his advantage, and spoke to her, trying to get her to tell him what she was passing through. Natalia did not open up, but she did get two of his business cards "in case she lost one.", he had said. The abuse from Noah got to a head and Natalia eventually decided to contact Piero, and then she let him know that she was ready to open up and receive his help. Natalia and Piero worked together, and all seemed fine until she showed up with divorce papers and got beaten up by her husband, Noah. Piero stood by Natalia in the dark, as she did not want him to in public, as a friend and attorney. And maybe as something else too. What happens when Noah finds out that his wife was in cahoots with an acquaintance of his? And what would happen to Natalia when her drunken affair with Piero gets to light?

For three years, Selene loved a man who never loved her back. Her marriage to Damien vance was built on obligation, not affection. He married her to fulfill his grandmother's wish, but his heart had always belonged to someone else. Still, Selene endured the coldness, the distance, and the loneliness, hoping that one day her love would be enough. Then, everything changes. On the happiest day of her life, Selene discovers she is pregnant after years of trying. Overjoyed, she rushes home to share the news with her husband, convinced that this miracle might finally bring them closer together. Instead, she walks into a nightmare. Damien's first love, Aurora, has returned. The woman he never stopped loving is suddenly back, and Selene finds herself pushed aside as though she never mattered. Before she can reveal her pregnancy, Damien hands her divorce papers and asks her to leave. Heartbroken and carrying a secret that could change everything, Selene signs the papers and disappears from his life. But some goodbyes are not as final as they seem. As Damien begins building a future with the woman he thought he wanted, he slowly realizes that the person he truly depended on is gone. The wife he overlooked, the woman who stood by him through everything, has vanished without a trace. And when long-buried secrets begin to surface, Damien is forced to confront a devastating truth that comes far too late. Now, the man who once let her go will stop at nothing to find her. But after everything he has done, will Selene ever give him a second chance? Or will the goodbye he demanded become the regret he carries for the rest of his life?

Claimed as the Wrong Bride: Tripicity Book One Octavia Maddox is a grey zone artist living rough in Tripicity, selling her work to survive. When mob boss Bastien Leclair arranges a contract marriage with Olivia Maddox to secure a political alliance against his rival Corporal, Olivia refuses and doesn't show up. A gallery mix-up, possibly deliberate, puts Occy in the wrong room at the right moment. She signs a contract she doesn't fully understand in exchange for a number that covers the warehouse she's been saving for. Bastien comes to collect. What follows is a chase through the grey zone, a count system of punishments for running, a fever that lands her in hospital, and a slow negotiation of trust between two people who don't trust easily. He moves her to the Alderton, his building, his world, and builds her a studio with north-facing light. She migrates to his bed without deciding to. They fall into something neither of them names. Meanwhile Corporal, operating as Mrs. Santoro, has been watching Occy through a hacked security feed and commissions a painting from her. The three-way power structure of the city tightens around Occy without her knowing it. The Meridian overstep begins destabilising the grey zone she built her life in. Bastien's attempt to secure her position legally through a Maddox family adoption explodes when he tells her without asking her first. She walks out. He sits in the room she left. Coming: the grey zone war, the Maddox meeting with Occy, Corporal's escalation, the truth about who engineered the signing, and whether Occy chooses to stay. Not because she has to, but because she wants to.

“You’re a blank, John. A hollow shell. Do you really think I’d tie the future of the Card family to a man who can’t even manifest a drop of instinct?” Caleb’s voice was like a wire garrote, tightening around John’s throat. “Carl is the heir. You’re just the mistake we kept in the basement.” John Mark was the Syndicate’s golden prince—until his power never came. In a world where the Hale Mafia rules through raw, predatory instinct, being a "blank" is a death sentence. When his biological brother, Carl Cole, returns to claim his birthright, John isn't just pushed aside; he’s erased. His brothers look at him with loathing, his father treats him like a stain on the ledger, and his fiancé, Caleb Card, discards him for the new, powered heir. But the city is rotting. The Abyss King, Morcant, demands a soul to keep the shadows at bay. With nothing left to lose and fifteen days to live, John signs the Sacrifice Certificate in secret. He’ll give his life to save the family that hates him, paying back his debts in blood. He dons a red coat and a porcelain mask, becoming the nameless "Red Savior" the city worships—while by day, he is the "useless" son the Hales kick into the dirt. As the clock ticks toward the final jump, John discovers his power didn't vanish—it was stolen. Now, trapped in a house of vipers, John must decide: Does he reveal the truth and watch his family’s world burn, or does he leap into the dark to save the monsters who broke him? The Abyss is hungry. And the man they called a failure is the only one who can feed it.

Lenora is the adopted daughter of an alpha family. As a child, she was deeply cherished by the family and showed signs of possibly having a gift, becoming the little princess of the entire pack. But as she grew up, after the alpha family’s biological daughter Eleanor returned, and everything changed. Lenora's talent inexplicably faded, and she couldn’t awaken her inner wolf upon adulthood, becoming the “wolfless” whom people said was “abandoned by the Goddess.” The hypocritical Eleanor, to secure her position, often framed Lenora, causing the alpha family to gradually resent Lenora and favor Eleanor. Lenora's former fiancé, Eric, also leaned toward Eleanor, dissolved his engagement with Lenora, and became ambiguously involved with Eleanor. The once-in-500-years sacrifice ritual is approaching, and without a volunteer, the entire pack may be endangered. The alpha family is frantic. Meanwhile, after being repeatedly framed by Eleanor, Lenora is deeply hurt by her once-loving family. Upon learning that, having come of age, she will be expelled from the pack like other wolfless, she chooses to volunteer as the sacrificial offering and will walk toward death in a month—to make one last contribution to the family she once loved most. But the alpha family doesn’t know about her choice; the identity of the sacrifice is strictly confidential. While they’re immensely grateful to the anonymous volunteer, they continue to despise and insult her, misinterpreting her recent solitary actions as betrayal. During this period, she suffers repeated emotional and physical harm. The family has several near-misses where they might discover her identity as the sacrifice, but misunderstandings prevent it each time. Meanwhile, after Lenora jumps, she slumbers for a long time. But at the bottom of the cliff, what lives there isn’t the so-called darkness, but a quirky monster (Mikael)...