Funny Asf Memes Novels & Stories

“Darlene Roberts, you're under arrest for the death of George Martins.”I look up with misty eyes only to see a bunch of cops, guns blazing and aimed at me. Funny enough, I don't even freeze neither do I panic. My attention goes back to my ex lover whose limp body is still warm with blood oozing from his forehead and chest. His shirt is torn and his big eyes are staring blankly at me. I've managed to help shut his mouth which was agape and his twisted lips. It seems he had put up one hell of a struggle before he gave up the ghost.“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in the court of law.Does the cop mean what he has just said? I mean, I'm not the murderer here. I rushed here to help as soon as I could!

Emilia Burke is a young and advanced college student with an eye for trouble. Ever since her last year in high school, when the only man she ever loved disappeared without a single glance, she has been an expert at evading heartbreak. And hasn't formed a meaningful connection since. Sure, she's young, funny, pretty, and too smart, but she has kept her love interests at a distance and kept everything simple. Fun. No feelings attached. But now, with as much ease as when he disappeared, Leon Maverick has returned to her life as a successful and sexy business tycoon. He's determined to win back the girl whom once had given her all for him, but there's a problem when she can't even stand the idea of him. If only she would give, but there's just something... Something about Leon. And maybe, he'll break through her barriers one last time.

“And that is the reason why I said those words. I like your fear, not because it is a normal thing. I love it because deep down you are a monster like me, schiava. You fear me on a primal level, you can feel my power and dominance, and you know you aren’t the strongest here. So you don’t fear Renzo Valentino the human, you fear the monster that lurks inside.” My life changed the night of my birthday. What started as a funny dare ended with blood and having a price on my head. I thought Renzo was the hero who saved me that night, but he was the devil who owned me forever. I, Misha Yakov, princess of the Russian mafia became Renzo Valentino's slave. He broke me, tortured me, and molded me into something new, something I hated and craved at the same time. I, Misha Yakov became my master's pet.

Tara’s mother and sister are both Lunar Wolves, blessed by the Moon Goddess with unique abilities. Tara seems to be an ordinary werewolf, but as she comes of age and welcomes her charismatic wolf, Trinity, her quiet life in Blue Moon is turned upside down. When she finds her mate, she’s catapulted into the spotlight, into a fairy tale with dark undercurrents she never saw coming. The threat of war looms, as her sister Talia prepares to become one of the first female Alphas, a controversial break with tradition that faces formidable resistance. Tara uncovers long buried secrets, a cryptic prophecy that unexpectedly awakens something dormant, and finds herself at the forefront as winds of change sweep through Lycan and Werewolf society. This is a story full of twists, turns, and laugh out loud funny moments. If you’re ready for a fast paced and thought provoking romantic comedy with plenty of drama and action, this novel is a fun must-read.

By day, Carlotta spins stories. By night, she serves drinks. Her life was simple. Until her good-for-nothing brother offered her as collateral to pay off a massive gambling debt to a ruthless underground casino. Now she's the reluctant fiancée of a powerful mafioso rumored to have a cruel streak... and a bedroom secret that's the talk of the criminal underworld: erectile dysfunction. Carlotta would've found it funny if it weren't her life on the line. To make things worse, fate throws in another complication: her dangerously attractive new driver-slash-bodyguard. With abs worthy of a thirst trap and a face that screams "Asgardian demigod". He's the kind of temptation a woman in her situation absolutely does not need. Just when she thinks it couldn't get more absurd, her cold, mysterious fiancé summons her to his penthouse suite with one chilling demand: He wants a taste of what's been promised. Her.

"Gosh! Adam look!" Jenna shouted, trembling at the test pack in her hand. Adam dashed into the bathroom and grabbed the test pack that was in Jenna's hand. He was immediately stunned. "We're dead!" One year ago Adam and Jenna, who were both threatened with an arranged marriage by their parents, agreed to have a contract marriage when they accidentally met in Europe. 30-year-old Adam, who is a candidate for President Director of a leading property company, is threatened with losing his position if he doesn't get married. And 28-year-old Jenna, who is a freelance writer, is also threatened with being married off to an old businessman because of her father's debt that they can't pay. How will the fake marriage without the love continue? Will it have a happy ending? Or will each of them find love outside of their married life?

Imagine you planned to have your boyfriend kidnapped, delivered to your blindfolded and gagged. You fuck him, and pull the hood off after, only to be face to face with a stranger. That stranger, you quickly lean, is the Don of the Cosa Nostra. He's all too pleased to have taken part in your kidnap fantasy.

Olivia Parker, after she was forced on by an unknown man at the hospital where her sick father was just proclaimed dead, finds herself pregnant a month later. Left with no other choice than to keep the pregnancy, she drops out of school at the age of 18. Six years later.. Olivia's son grew up to be the exact replica of her new boss.. Damien Sterling! "Who is his father?!" His voice echoed multiple times into her ears. "I don't have one, talk to my mummy with respect!"

One night. The one night she wasn't supposed to be there. She got into a one on one arguement with Mr Xavier, The CEO of a Milton billionaire industry, X&O. In an attempt to get revenge he forcefully hires her as his Pa. But things didn't go as he wished, and they both have to stick together to fight new obtsacles. Now the question to fate is that will they survive without tearing each other apart first. "I want his head." I grin evily, watching him from the window. Even without doing anything, he still annoys me.

Max was famous for his hardcore attitude and being able to run a mutli billion company.. Max was known for different women every night… Until he meet Asia.. Asia would not give him the time of day.. Can Max win Asia heart?