Funny Cartoon Profile Picture Novels & Stories

"Look closer," Gemma prompted you. You narrowed your eyes and moved your hands away, looking down at the profile. It was called @DaddyDick and had an erect penis as its profile picture with a cartoon face drawn on the head. And you realized quickly that it was your dick. "I'll repeat. What the fuck?"

So I pulled out my phone again, this time scrolling through my saved folder labeled “EMERGENCY GIGGLES.” I found a meme I knew would work. A sketchy cartoon cat trying to play a grand piano with arms that were way too short. It was dumb. Like, impressively dumb. “Look at this,” I said, turning the screen toward him. He glanced at it. Blinked. Then let out a snort. “That’s so stupid,” he said. “But you smiled.” “No, I didn’t.” “You totally did.” He rolled his eyes, took a long sip of juice, then bumped his shoulder into mine. “Okay. Maybe I did.”

As I went to delete him from my social media, I noticed he had changed his profile picture. The cartoon avatar I had drawn for him a decade ago was gone and replaced by a casual snapshot that didn't even match his usual style. I remembered something I had read once. "When a man who never changes his profile picture suddenly does, it means there's a new woman in his life." My hands trembled slightly as I hit the delete button. In one second, ten years of messages, memories, and emotions vanished. So did my attachment. Seeing a message from my godmother checking in, I texted back to let her know I was safe.

Her most recent post was four months old, and was of her with her parents and little brother on a lake somewhere. I trembled a little, and sent her a friend request. I wondered if any of her information was current, given how little she posted. Or how much of her information was true... Of course, she posted more than me. I idly checked my bio page. Apparently, I was still in secondary school... And, Oh God, my profile picture was from my final year in secondary school. I was trying to contact a girl through F******k with my profile picture appearing in the dictionary, illustrating the phrase: 'Babe Repellant'.

“Like I said, she has a personality. She seems nice. Funny.” I laughed. “You can tell that from her profile picture can you? Pulling the funky chicken is she?” “Just fucking look, will you?” He pushed his glasses back on his nose, and smoothed down his beard, eyes twinkling. Boho. Another one. Could I handle another trendy little free-spirit in the house? Probably. The thought didn’t altogether turn me off.

I picked it up, rubbing my eyes. Notifications exploded across the screen. Comments, likes, mentions and DMs flooded my screen. Apparently, Jeanne had reposted my new profile picture with a caption: [MY PARTNER IN CRIME 💕] Thousands of comments filled the post. Most were ridiculous, a few were alarming. [F**K!!!!! HE’S DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!!!🥵 ] [Why is your stepbrother hiding this face from society?] [What’s his nationality, because he’s half Australian and half mine😊]

Stupid embarassing childhood pics. ************************************ Poor Ken.

Clay nodded at my phone. “Hold your horses.” I rolled my eyes, pulling up the list. “Okay, the others in the cartoon movie were Slightly, Nibs, Chubby, and Twins.” I frowned, not liking any of those. “Ah, here we go. In Hook, there was also Ace. But that’s a no go since that’s my brother. Thud Butt is also a no. We aren’t insulting the puppies.” I shook my head. “Pockets could be cute. Don’t Ask, Too Small, Latchboy, and No Nap were the others. I don’t like those names.” I wrinkled my nose.

looks like that. Like a twelve year old boy was asked to draw a perfect woman. Or me, right now. If someone asked me to draw a perfect woman, I would be funny and draw big tits, small waist and a big ass. Add the prettiest face in the whole north and that's her. Just to make sure I'm not hallucinating, I grab my phone and pull up the picture again, the one I uploaded to my profile. It has gathered almost one hundred thousand likes. I ignore that for a second and focus on her again.

There was dead silence for a couple of minutes until the entire class bursted out laughing. I picked it up quickly in embarrassment and hid it behind my back. People were laughing loudly, banging the desks and benches. Well, it wasn't that funny. I tried my best with the sketch, but things didn't go according to what I had planned initially. I only managed to draw a crooked circle, a wide 'U' shaped smile, a deep 'J' shaped nose and perfectly round, 'O' shaped eyes. "Which personality did you sketch?" Noah asked trying his best to keep a straight face. The entire class became silent to hear my answer. Somebody commented that it was Donald Trump and I glared at that girl.