Funny Charlie Brown Novels & Stories

I told her about June’s obsession with fortune cookies and how we’d once tried to write our own fortunes until we realized we were just insulting each other. It was strange seeing Dr Hall like this—lighter, funnier and not the steady counselor with the very calm tone but a person with quirks and bad jokes. Her laugh was low and warm and it filled the office like a space heater. I liked her way more now. Charlie shifted in my lap, rolled onto his back so I could scratch his belly. “He’s ridiculous,” I said with a small laugh. “He’s my therapy assistant,” she said. “Free of charge. Though he’s better at receiving comfort than giving it.”

"You’re hilarious." Charlie grinned, his expression smug as he pulled out a drumstick and took a bite, the sound of his chewing obnoxiously loud in the quiet room. "I know," he said, his voice muffled around the food. "Now sit your ass down and eat before I feed you myself."

Charlie was happy with himself for not waiting any longer to get home, but he had a hard time choosing. "You don't choose: it'll be 8 of each," John decided. "But it's more that way," said Charlie glumly. "Yes, I feel in a generous mood today!" In the evening, Britney massaged lotion over Charlie's whip marks. She even worked his anus to try and cheer him up a little.

"What's so funny?" "You're just entertaining," Charlie admitted. I elbowed him in the side, making him cover his side. "You're mean." Charlie pouted. "Oh suck it up you big baby. You're perfectly fine." "You don't know that." He complained. "You are the winiest person I've ever met." "Not true!" As we walked downstairs to the kitchen, Bane and his Twin brother Ferrell were having an argument. Again. "No, mashed potatoes are better without gravy," Ferrell argued.

Charlie had just finished a call and came out. He wasn’t surprised at all to see that Kyle had already left. Some people were too busy to continue pestering their ex-wives. He walked over to Candice and heard the meatball’s whining. "What happened to it?" "It was called foolish." She had second thoughts about saying the last part. Charlie rubbed the meatball’s head, lifting its large round head gently. "Foolish? Let me see. No, not foolish at all. It’s quite smart."

“WHY YOU LITTLE-“ As Charlie and Anna began their daily battle royale, the occupant of the seat nearest to Anna began to uncontrollably laugh. The laughter was enough to penetrate Charlie and Anna’s battlefield. “Are we really that funny?” said Charlie as he turned to face the source of the laughter. “I think she’s just laughing at you, idiot.” “Broad.” “Pig.” The laughing culprit managed to finally regain control of herself. “Sorry guys. You two just seem like really great friends.” Charlie formed a slim smile, appearing to be distant from the conversation. “I guess you could say we are. But we aren’t the complete package. Not without him.” Anna nodded her head in agreement.

Cillian shot back. "Well, then I guess we'll have to become friends, Mean Uncle. My name is Charlie and I'm four and a half years old, and I have a rare disease and I'm sick a lot. You're sick too, aren't you? We're going to get along really well, just you wait, Mean Uncle." He sounded like the most confident brat. Perhaps it was that, or the fact that he also bore the one name Cillian found himself hating as of late, that made Cillian's expression twist, his eyes darken.

“Truthfully… I absolutely loved it.” “That’s my girl.” Charlie patted me on the back. “Let’s collect Stub before she catches a nude player and does more than take a picture.” “You’re horrible,” I said with a burst of laughter. Charlie winked and said, “I watch that woman closely. She has a thing for large muscles. She’ll be the death of me some day, but I’ll die happy.” For an older man, Charlie was in good shape. This was the first time I saw him in short sleeves and it was obvious he worked out. He must have been a knockout in his day.

It was fine to offend anyone, but to offend Leo Kyle of Rovio Corp? Charlie, "..." Bernard added, "You are a useless thing. How did you offend Leo Kyle?" Charlie glanced at his angry father and knew that he couldn't escape, so he had to tell his father how he offended Leo Kyle. Hearing this, Bernard almost fainted out of anger. He stepped forward and gave Charlie a hard slap. "You are such an idiot. All-day long you only think about women, can't you think of anything else?" Charlie lowered his head and did not even dare to make a sound.

Rohan who had been introduced as Jay's older brother said, then winked at her. "If wishes were horses." Sana said. "And I don't want to be on the same team as you, you disgusting man child." Charlie snapped. "Oh baby, you know you want a piece of this." He leered. "I don't know who's more gross, Warren or you." Sana shuddered. "Hey! What did I do?" Warren protested. "Better check your pocket for used condoms." Charlie laughed, Jay and Sana joining in. It must have been some sort of inside joke, but with how leaky these people's mouths were, I was sure the rest of us will know all about it before the day ended.