Funny Christian Jokes

To the world, I was Mrs. Ward—the untouchable queen beside the mafia king of New York, Elias Ward. But I knew my husband never loved me. His heart had always belonged to Harper Dinah. His nephew’s wife. And after that nephew conveniently died, Elias brought her into our mansion, “I just want to take better care of her,” he’d said. And his version of “care” was where he’d throw a man out of a party for daring to flirt with Harper and got her pregnant. Elias likes to praise me in public like I was the perfect wife to him. And I was. I helped build his empire. I was the one who smiled and played nice. I made his casino shine while he hid Harper away like she was something sacred. Because of all that praising, one of his enemies set his sights on me. They took me. Sent Elias a message soaked in blood and threats: Back off. Leave New York. Or your pretty wife dies. Of course, Elias didn’t choose to back off.. “Just wait,” he said over the phone, “They won’t hurt you, Noa. You’re leverage. Just hold on until Harper gives birth. Then I’ll come for you.” Eight months of being held in a filthy hole, starved, beaten, degraded. The gang leader raped me over and over again. And still, Elias never came. Finally, I escaped when they were all drunk. Went home, only find my twins sleeping in the maid’s room, eating scraps while Elias was too busy hosting a party for his newborn. I didn’t confront him, just packed my babies and disappear.

Their life was a total opposite, He is a hitman by profession who does whatever he felt like amd sh is a hopeless orphan what happens when two broken people comes together? Jayden moves to a remote town to hide from his crimes, he meets Bella... Accommodating her after her Father's death, getting used to him alone, he has to go back home. The story takes a turn when she finds out he has a twin brother who is after his life, They both want her, she is only his.

Until recently, Carolina Lane has lived a normal life, but when she moves to this town, things change. Having Kayler Brown, the sexiest and most respected boy in school, as a neighbor is not funny at all. While Caroline is trying hard to make this bossy yet meddling boy stay out of her business, she receives death warnings: Attention, Carolina. The forest will be your new enemy. Do not approach Kayler, or otherwise, your death will be even more painful than I had planned. Who sent this letter? What is Kayler hiding behind? What's the secret of this town? Caroline desperately wants to figure out the truth. However, Kayler won’t answer the questions. He just takes her hand and gazes at her. “You are mine.” He said.

Book two. Please read “Our Young Funny Voices” before “Our Blank Canvas”. Exactly one year ago, Vasilisa Krovopuskova left her life in Siberia, Russia behind to pursue a serious relationship with her American girlfriend, Francine Chirilova. Aside from the unwavering love Vasha feels for her lover, the emptiness of not belonging begins to wear on their relationship. With only Francine and their tight knit group of friends to rely on for comfort, a shocking message on Vasilisa’s VK social media account may bring her back to Russia on a temporary basis. Francine struggles to help Vasilisa overcome her insecurities, but they aren’t the only ones having a hard time. With Navy-woman Brody deploying on a two year long assignment, she’s not sure if holding onto what she has with Liza will bring them closer, or destroy everything. Only time will tell. The “more put together” couple of them all, Charlotte and Olivia, face a difficult situation after a drunken mistake brings back a toxic EX girlfriend from Charlotte’s past, and she’s not leaving without a fight. As Francine fights to keep everyone together, she continues battling Anorexia in secret. We’re all free to make our own choices, but we aren’t free from the consequences of those choices. 18 + Strong mature content All Rights Reserved (you know how it goes) Please don't attempt to steal any part of my work.

The road to success isn't an easy one . Especially when you are poor and meet a rich spoiled jerk . The first time we saw each other was when I saved an old lady from being crushed by his car . After saving the old lady his car slashed the rainwater on the hole of the ground was splashed on me , making me a public laughing stock , just his presence gets me to my nerves . I had enough problems , a jerk like him was all I needed to make my life turn upside down . Four years passed . I finished university and graduated with top grades as a lawyer and bodyguard . Just when I thought that I could finally start my plan of becoming successful , our paths crossed again . This time he had become the arrogant devil with a cold face . Fate is being unfair by making me suffer in the hands of this devil once again . The leader of a huge empire died without naming the name of the inheritor to his fortune . In order to protect my family and give them a better future , I had no choice but to comply with his wishes and help him sit on that throne . How could I , a normal girl , help the heir to a multi-billion company sit on the chair of the leader ? Turns out that the devil needs a lawyer to play in his favor . After he had succeeded, after we each got what we were aiming for , we would go our separate ways . I never wanted to be entangled with him . Meeting him was a mistake from the very beginning . When our collaboration came to an end , he was supposed to let me go but instead of gaining my freedom , I got locked up again . Can I ever escape this man ?

Can Christmas magic help her hear the music again? Melody Murphy shared her love of music with her father, but after tragically loosing him on Christmas Eve two years ago, she no longer has any interest in music or Christmas. She returns to her hometown of Charles Town, West Virginia, to help her mother save the family antique business, content to stay focused on her work. However, when a chance encounter with an adorable five-year-old leads her to befriend an attractive single dad, Melody begins to realize she's been putting her life on hold, something her father would've never wished for her. Will she learn to hear the song in the falling snow again? Reid has recently moved to Charles Town to start over after his wife walked out, leaving him alone to raise their son, Michael. When Michael decides he needs Melody Murphy in his life, Reid needs to find out what it is that has his son drawn to the young woman like a magnet. The closer he gets to Melody, the more he begins to believe he might get a second chance at love after all. This is a sweet contemporary romance with Christian themes, perfect for holiday reading.

We all have secrets revealed to us throughout our lives. Secrets that many have kept hidden from us. How bad can the secrets be when you have grown up knowing you were adopted? For one girl, it is nothing short of a movie when her past that she never knew existed comes back to haunt her. She never felt like she fitted in, and when her partner goes missing she goes on a mission to find him but stumbles across a world she has only seen in movies. With the fact she is faced to accept werewolves, witches and everything else that goes bump in the night exists, she is left even more shaken to find out she is a witch, the last of the strongest bloodline that were all murdered. Will her love for the werewolf be fate, or is it all produced by magic to stop the war that has raged between the three worlds for centuries.

re·pent /rəˈpent/ verb feel or express sincere regret or remorse about one's wrongdoing or sin. Haven is your average Christian young woman. She attends church, always reads her bible, and is the leader of her church's Youth Group. She even has the perfect Christian boyfriend, who she's sure she'll marry. Tristian is your average trouble maker. He drinks, smokes, and has no interest in religion. He's been sent to live with his religious grandmother harboring a lot of guilt and a horrible secret. When Haven meets Tristian, he turns her Christian world upside down and offers to show her a life outside of God. Her faith wavers as she falls in love with him and sets down a passionate, sinful path. She tells herself God will forgive her if she repents. But repentance means nothing when you're not sorry for what you've done.

Cassie had a whole life figured out she thought that she have everything going for her and everything in her life was perfect until an unexpected turn of events happened that would change the way she view life and love forever. After a failed engagement and finding out that her fiance had cheated on her and had been doing so for five years and has a child with someone else that she thought her fiance was friends with she decides to attend a friend's wedding while heartbroken and ends up falling in love with someone who he didn't expect to fall in love with and ends up getting married accidentally. Not only did she get married to the guy who's ex wife was the other woman, but he also turned out to be the guy his company her father wants to overtake and own. Will she come out with the truth now that she is married to him ,or she keeps secrets that could destroy their Union forever and is she really in love with this guy? Grayson has always made it a point to go out with his sisters friends they are some friends his sister kept from him but he wasn't at all bothered by that because he had fallen for the one friend that she had always loved and married her. A couple of years into the marriage he finds out this wife was cheating on him with her highschool sweetheart , after her sudden death he also found out that his son wasn't his son. When he crossed paths with Cassandra Hunter his life is turned upside down in a good way , even though he hated her he ended up feeling as if she was the best thing he never knew he needed.

Alacrimia in Layman's terms is the congenital inability to produce tears. Some places in Africa have their norms and beliefs wrapped around age-old, blind superstitions. Especially the rural communities. So when a young girl comes from the city to the village, and it is discovered, through a series of unfortunate events, that she won't cry, even when induced, things take a downward spin for her, as she finds herself from Osun State to Kogi State, and then Enugu State.