Funny Dark Humor Jokes

"Have you ever seen an naked man before?" I asked as she steps into the shower. "No..." she shuddered. "Very good." I turned off the shower, took her cheek in my hand, and start kissing her delectable lips. She was moaning as her hand still clasps to mine, and her other hand awkwardly touched my slippery naked chest. ***** He was cursed by a sorceress to hell where he exhausts decades of his life crawling his way up until he becomes the king that rules the dark lands in the pit of hell. For hundreds of years, he longed to be human again, to breathe in the fresh air of the earth above. He was waiting until the right time, the right key that could set him free back above the pit of darkness. But he was not ready when that key turned to be a very beautiful innocent woman that was mated to him, the descendant of the sorceress herself. ******* From a very young age, she had been alone survival. Her parents had died in a tragic accident, according to the police report. But she knew it wasn't an accident, it was fate as her elders had explained to her days after the incident. Her elders also guided her all through her adolescent life, up until she reached adulthood. Then they unveiled her true destiny as they told her that she was to set the dark lord free. She was skeptical but mesmerized when she saw the handsome, arrogant, controlling lord of darkness. She was not ready when her elders told her that she was mated to him. ******** Will the innocence break down his arrogance? Will her bubbly personality crushed by his controlling attitude? Follow me and uncover the story of a man and woman from different worlds.

Amelia Hutchinson was always different. Her life was different. Xikoth, the King of Hell, a dark fae, was after her. She ran from him as far as possible, and he didn’t chase her initially… but now he couldn’t wait any longer. He regretted not claiming her sooner because now she had run away with his nemesis, Vargauz. He was going to get her back and that too in his Kingdom of Hell. And what happens when she is in his castle, in his bed, with him. He wants to be inside her and she is thinking of ways to break the bond. Do check my new novel - Alpha's Slave

Avery Williams was physically and mentally tortured by her ex-werewolf boyfriend and his mate every single day in college. She wanted to escape from his sick clutches but what happens when she comes across the mysterious Alpha Dark in the Mating ball who claims her as his mate?! Alpha Dark is a mystery, and definitely evil. He claims her and traps her in his mansion. Now Avery would have to make a choice. To either surrender to this dark wolf who has skeletons buried deep behind his doors or escape him. Having past trauma from her ex, surrendering to a selfish man was definitely not an option. Why do you pull when I am not ready?” I said, mustering the courage to look at him. His eyes slightly narrowed at me, but he did not move from his position. The air crackled with tension and none of us were prepared to go down. He pulled my chin with his finger beneath it and angled his head to move close to my face. His lips softly brushed against mine and something sparked in my body like a firecracker, “Because you are mine. And I take what belongs to me.”

"I don't need you" "but I need only you" "leave me" "leaving you it will never happen angel" Dhruv Raj Raizada is the sole king of Raizada business empire he is a coldhearted CEO who never believes in love or emotions he is sn emotionless person people fears for his dark ruthless cold aura he is the most eligible batchelor who never dated anyone because of a dark past he hates girls and lies He is ruthless to outer world but a kind and sweet boy to his mother what made this sweet guy to ruthless??? Will he fall in love??? What if he falls in love with a lie??? What happens when he fall in love with the person whose background is the reason of his hatred....... to whom he gives more importance to love or to hatred??? Sriste Royal is the only heiress of Royal group of companies her only world is her family she is rich, arrogant, egoistic perfect tomboy but destiny planned something different in her life destiny made this tomboy badass girl to act as a naive girl She entered into his life on a purpose but ended up loving him more than anything can she break ice barrier to make love bloom... Who is sriste Royal?? what is the relation between sriste and dhruv?? Why sriste schemed and entered into dhruv's life??... He is ruthless She is stubborn A tale of hatred love Love of two opposite poles War of love between truths and lies.... War of love between life and death.... Love of two distinct characters..... What is going to win love or hate??? this book contains CEO Romance, love, family, friendship, violence and mature content read at your own risk To know more follow the journey of LOVE ME IN THE DARK

A large TV company Kikanasih Company with Eka Tanaya as the President is going to marry Rina, a famous daughter who just lost her whole company due to accumulated debt to Kikanasih company. Rina is now forced to be married to Eka to repay her family debt and her mother's medical expenses. At first, Rina only thought of his husband as a narcissistic power-hungry man who loves to tease her and bully her as a merely arrogant President who loves to bully the weak. However, after living in a false marriage life with Eka she's starting to see another looming darkness that shrouds Eka's life.

Yanna Simpson's life was forever changed when her parents were brutally killed by werewolves. Fueled by anger and a desire for revenge, she sets out to infiltrate their world and take down the powerful pack responsible for her loss. But when she finally meets Rufus Grayson, the leader of the pack, her mission takes a shocking turn. Rufus is not the monster she expected, and as she delves deeper into the werewolf's world, she discovers a secret about her own existence that threatens to destroy everything she believes in. Will Yanna find the justice she seeks, or will the truth about her past lead to her downfall? Join Yanna on a journey of self-discovery, love, and war in this thrilling tale of secrets and sacrifice.

All Wolves have fated mates they say, but not in every case! Some are cursed to be mateless, werewolves like Gabriella. When all her previous lovers died mysteriously, her one fated mate rejected her for fear of sharing the same fate and chose her stepsister over her. Then people try to stay away from the cursed one… If not all but the dark ones! When everyone, including herself, believes she's going to end up mateless for the rest of her life, she's offered a contract with the three richest Billionaires in the city! The cursed, dark, and legendary brothers; the ones who never die...

Alexandra Jhonson mengira ia telah mati saat mengalami kecelakaan karena dikejar penagih hutang. Gadis itu terbangun di tepi sungai. Betapa terkejutnya ia kala kembali ke masa kerajaan sebelum masehi. Pada masa itu pihak kerajaan mencari para wanita yang belum menikah untuk menaklukan naga di The Dark Hill. Hal itu dilakukan karena naga bernama Ares itu akan menyantap seluruh rakyat. Sayangnya, jika para wanita tersebut gagal, mereka yang akan menjadi santapan sang naga. Bagaimana Alexandra harus berjuang bertahan hidup setelah ia terpilih menjadi tumbal selanjutnya, meskipun dia dan Raja Evander telah saling jatuh cinta? Apakah ia akan menyelamatkan kerajaan Raja Evander atau memilih menyelamatkan diri? Padahal bukan Naga Ares yang sebenarnya harus ditakuti pihak kerajaan. Ada makhluk lain yang bersembunyi dalam hutan dan telah membuat Alexandra menjadi manusia yang berbeda. Akankah Alexandra mampu kembali ke dunia dia sebelumnya?

Her mission was to kill him. Her fate was to love him... Ezinne had always felt like an outcast because of her chubby nature. Her life spiralled out of control when a fateful mistake by her untamed wolf led to the tragic loss of the Alpha's chosen mate's unborn child. Cast out, rejected by her mate and derided by those she once called family, Ezinne found herself exiled to the dreaded depths of the evil forest and left to die. But fate seemed to have a twisted path laid out for her. Her life was mysteriously spared but at a price. She must vanquish the Dark King, an invincible man feared by many. But what will Ezinne do when she discovers that the man she was supposed to vanquish was her second chance mate? When she learned that everything she knew might be lies? What is the price of a life reborn from ashes?

"Devils don't love, baby. They ruin." He rasps beside my ear, trailing his long fingers between my bare cleavage. Something like fire flickered in his emerald green eyes but it disappeared as it came. "Luckily, we're on the same page, Volkov. I'll ruin you and vanish your empire from this universe." I challenge, tangling his fingers with mine and dropping them from the forbidden area. His cold eyes darkened but his soft pink lips twisted with a small smirk. "I would love to see you try." ❥❥❥❥ The disappearance of Lilah Daniels' brother Robert Daniels was nothing but a mystery to everyone. She was a fifteen-year-old girl when it all happened. The only thing she knew, her brother was involved in some kind of illegal business. Robert was the only person who was there for her when their addict parents used to come back home drunk and beat the shit out of her. Even they forced Robert to be involved in such kind of bad business, only for money. Lilah promised herself to find out her beloved brother as she started collecting information. It took five years for her to reach the person only who knew where her brother was. But he was no ordinary gang leader or don. He was hundreds of boss' boss, the greatest Russian mafia king Ivan Volkov, known as the devil to the underworld. Nobody has seen him except for a few mafia bosses. He was a pure evil soul with a creativity of manipulating and killing his enemies in one blink. But she didn't care. She did her best to reach the devil and finally succeeded. But what happened when two dangerous souls met? How would they avoid the dark forbidden desires ignited inside them? (THIS IS A DARK ROMANCE BOOK! )