Funny Dirty Quotes

Clay Nikolaidis: I don't know why everyone's so worried about me. I'm happy being single. H-A-P-P-Y, Happy. I don't understand why my twin sister thought her getting married and having my niece and nephew meant I felt left behind. Least of all, to the point that she decided I needed a dog… It’s a joke. She gave me a corgi and said he’s my new wingman. of a wingman, I've been striking out, and worse, just got evicted from my apartment. Now I'm staying at my cousin's place till I find a new one. This dog owes me. Xenia Rosario: I've loved everything about living in the Big Apple. Everything but my apartment seems to be big here. Shoebox apartment aside, I just became the owner of Tinkerbell, a therapy training dropout. Trust me when I say her name is meant to be ironic. She's bigger than me. This is probably how I got dragged through the park, and if I ever find the owner of that tiny dog who scared Tink, I'm giving them a piece of my mind. This is a standalone story but is the fifth book in the Ravenwood series. Book 1 - The Princess of Ravenwood Book 2 - Chasing Kitsune Book 3 - Expect The Unexpected Book 4 - Out Of My League Book 5 - Man's Best Wingman

A retelling of several of the most famous fairy tales with a kinky, dirty twist. Each story is about 30,000 words so sit back, grab some holy water and relax! It's time to sink in 10 deliciously dark and twisted fairytales! Highly erotic and brimming with dark desires, don't say I didn't warn ya! 18+ Dark Fairytale Series Rumpled (Retelling of Rumplestiltskin) Sinderella (Retelling of Cinderella) Allissa in Wankerland (Retelling of Alice In Wonderland) Friends With Sexy Benefits (Retelling of Hansel and Gretel) Snow White and the Seven Hunks (Retelling of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs) Red (Retelling of Little Red Riding Hood) Tangled (Retelling of Rapunzel) Bella and the Beast (Beauty and The Beast) Maid For Pleasure (The Ugly Duckling) Goldilocks and the 3 Were-bears (Goldilocks)

"Marry me for three years. Once Leah is back, we’ll divorce, and I’ll give you ten million dollars." The words were a cold offer, spoken so close to her that she could barely breathe. Alexander King—ruthless, untouchable, looks to die for and heir to the King empire—has never been the kind to beg. But when his first love, Leah, disappears, he makes a deal with Athena Dawson, the orphan girl his family has sponsored for years. Three years of marriage to protect the position of wife for Leah. A contract. And a promise of millions. But Athena doesn’t want his money. She wants him. She agrees, hoping that in those three years, she can make him love her—not as deeply as he loved Leah, but just enough to make him keep her by his side. And for a while, it almost seems possible. He’s sweet. Protective. Almost hers. Until Leah returns. Just like that, the dream shatters. The warmth disappears. And the man who once held her so gently turns cold, placing divorce papers in her hands as a cruel reminder of the deal they made. Their dirty little secret. But what if Athena isn’t the same girl who agreed to the contract? And what if, for the first time in his life, Alexander King realizes he made a mistake?

Reese: I know all too well the sting of heartbreak and rejection. Not a lot of men can handle a woman of my stature. I only hope that love is out there. When I agreed to meet up with my Frost cousins and their kids for a Christmas event after another breakup, I didn't expect sparks to fly with their friend Don Hunter. Don: I was surprised to be invited by my coworker Darius Frost to join his family and friends at the holiday lights at the park. It's not like I have family in the area, and I'm self-aware enough to know I wouldn't have some hot date. So why is the gorgeous Reese Nikolaidis giving me the time of day? It has to be a joke because she is out of my league. This is a standalone story but is the four book in the Ravenwood series. Book 1 - The Princess of Ravenwood Book 2 - Chasing Kitsune Book 3 - Expect The Unexpected Book 4 - Out Of My League Book 5 - Man's Best Wingman

Ava, is a woman with big ambitions who will do her best to get them. She is capable of sacrificing anything, including the one she loves. Because of her dream, Ava had to leave. Harris is a man who is unconcerned about his own life. Everyday he will get drunk, as well as play with the hearts of the women he'll meet. When he met Ava, everything changed. He transformed into a decent man for Ava. Misty, on the other hand, is an obsessed hopeless romantic. Envy-filled woman, she was consumed by rage, allowing her to accomplish anything she wanted. Regardless of what will happen, she will do anything to make Ava miserable. Will Harris love be strong enough to wait Ava's return? Will they return to each other's arms when the right time comes? After everything Ava had to sacrifice, can she still choose to be with Harris?

When Elizabeth Walter gets fired from work, getting home to meet her boyfriend molded to the thighs of another lady, screaming her brains out against the wall, all hell, let's loose. Her once upon a fairytale life is shattered. Having loads of loans to pay back, Elizabeth's once 'alright' life becomes a disaster until she met him. The one whose name strikes fear into the heart of others Zane Creed. A workaholic with no social life, he needs a date for a business dinner. She needs the money for the next day. Just when Elizabeth's love life gets trampled on, A tall manly blue-eyed demon comes crashing in, making Elizabeth cream her thongs with just a look. Elizabeth might just be getting more than she bargained for when she becomes 'The Escort.'

“She's rich, he's a bad boy, a burglar. She's submissive, he's tractable. She's caged, he's wild. She yearns for freedom, his life is adventurous. As the tale says "Opposite attracts!" But then there's this rich man who's overly obsessed with the innocent heiress. A sweet, romantic, funny story filled with lots of action and love but with dark side, abuse and Dark Romance.” 18+ Hot Steamy scenes!

Vivian Kane is a ghost in the digital underworld, slipping into Alessandro Costello’s world like she’s always been there. She lifts his wallet with a swipe of her fingers, and just like that, she’s not only hacked his systems—she’s hacked his life. Alessandro Costello doesn’t do forgiveness. She’s made it personal, and now he’s out for blood. He’s ready to turn her life into a living nightmare, using every dirty trick he knows to make her regret ever crossing him. What starts as a simple theft quickly spirals into something far darker. They’re trapped in a high-stakes game of cat and mouse, where every touch and taunt turns up the heat until it’s a steamy, no-holds-barred battle of lust and dirty games. In this twisted mind-fuck, trust is a luxury neither can afford.

Book I of the 'His' series. What does Alexandria do when the landlord decides to increase the rent? She looks for a roommate!! Mason King just moved to town and he's looking for an apartment. He comes across Alexandria's request for a roommate. He thought she was just a quiet,shy,nerdy girl. But boy was he wrong!

Blaire Summers doesn't do serious, but she soon finds herself in a very serious situation. One that will deem her homeless if she doesn't find a job that actually pays. When she lands an interview at ALPHA INC, she expects the boot after she notices the line in tow for the job. She couldn't be more wrong. Luther Reed is more than just the CEO, he's ALPHA of the Legend Pack. He's ruthless, cunning, and never found his mate, which doesn't bother him in the least. Not having a mate means he doesn't have a weakness. Until Blaire stumbles into his office for an interview, and he knows instantly she's his mate. The kicker is that she's human, and has no idea werewolves exist. It's easy to turn to the next interviewee, and forget her. Until he sees Axel Hanes, the dirty Lycan tycoon, talking to her outside of his office window. That forces the hair on his neck to stand, and he hires Blaire, which causes a downward spiral of events that break Luther's guard, and forces him into situations that will cost him his position, and a war with the Lycans he didn't see coming.