Funny Harry Potter Jokes

THEY SAID NEVER..................... Jacob Bruce Crighton son of Devin Richard Crighton hated his father’s meddling ways especially in his personal life. The latter had already chosen his bride and had demanded a heir but Jake was not interested in getting married. Not now; not ever! He would show the old man what he was the only one deciding the outcome of his life. Enter Rachel Lloyd, the perfect match for Jacob or so her whole surrounding seem to think. The problem was she had a crush on Jacob during her teenage days and had been completely humiliated when the latter had not reciprocated her feelings. She would try her best to decide the way her life will turn out. As they get together to outrun the old man, they both found themselves attracted to each other and unable to get out of his trap. Will they succeed in thwarting his marriage plans or will they be stuck with each other forever? ...................AND ENDED UP WITH FOREVER

At the New Year's party, my pineapple juice is swapped for beer. To make things worse, I've just taken cephalexin, which shouldn't be mixed with alcohol. After barely surviving the ordeal, I am shocked to see my husband, Harry Grant, defending Sally Lane, who was responsible for the mix-up. "Can we please just let it go? She didn't do it on purpose," Harry pleads. However, I'm not about to forgive Sally, especially given how sketchy her relationship with my husband has always been. But Harry cuts me off with a scowl, "Enough! She's just graduated and doesn't know any better. "What's the point of holding a grudge? Do you really want to ruin her life to feel better?" he asks, clearly trying to protect her. As I watch him stand by her, my heart sinks. "Fine then, go live with her."

Just because my wolf mom scratched Ava Shaw's favorite dress, Noah Potter called a butcher. He punished her seriously. I found her dying body and screamed at him. "I told you before—I was raised by wolves. What you did to her is no different from killing my mother!" Noah stayed cold. He covered Ava's eyes and stared at me. "You are just a stray kid my stepmom picked up. Stop trying to fool me." My wolf mom was still bleeding as she dragged herself toward me. I crawled to her and held her tight. "I stayed here to repay Noah's family for helping the wolf pack. You chased me for miles because you could not let me go. I never thought I would end up hurting you instead." That night, I held my wolf mom and knelt in front of Aunt Wendy's memorial. "Aunt Wendy, the Potters' Zoo are everywhere now. They do not need my gift anymore. I should leave."

The fascinating,chaotic story of a food obsessed girl who discovers startling new abilities within herself and is transported to the mystical land of Opa where she must save the land,control her hormones and try to not fall in love with her best friend.

"In a garden full of flowers, the beast chose her. Among the roses she was, and although her petals were tainted with blood, to him, she was the prettiest of them all" Fate and it's funny ways. It's so fascinating when things could be so twisted, yet perfect at the same time. There has to be darkness for the light to shine and before every beautiful rainbow, there's an ugly storm. Isn’t this what our parents tell us in order to keep us calm? Rosalya was in an urgent need of this saying. She is found in a very hard and tricky situation when her world is suddenly flipped upside down. Her life going from quiet to loud, from sad and boring to interesting and wild. An Alpha King is the least she imagined would appear in her life, but that’s what life gave her. The change wasn’t exactly received happily... but it was definitely something that she would not regret in the future. She’s just a small delicate flower... one that manages things that she never knew were in her reach. Happiness and sadness, love and despair. Before every happy ending, there’s a roller coaster of a journey. Let’s see what this one holds for us to read.

She was looking for her equal. All the other men couldn't compare to Jareth Steele, CEO of Steele Logistics. Jerrica Betton, CEO of Betton Enterprises, has met her match.

When Myra is abducted as ransom for her mother's debt, she has to device a plan to escape the infamous Miguel Carvarlho even if it means aiding the enemy. But she soon learns that every betrayal comes with a cost. When the line between passion and rage blur she is torn between two choices. Family or Love...

Bitten by a mysterious sin-eater was an accident. Zachary Oliver wanted to spend the next four weeks of his life in the picturesque Bulgaria where he wanted to recharge and invigorate. His corporate life sucks. A mischievous and vengeful Goddess makes it her life’s purpose to wreck havoc in humans. Persephone will stop at nothing to get the revenge she had always wanted. Helena Battenberg, a noble sin-eater finds herself, slowly falling in love with the accidental Vampire. In the midst of chaos and the need to survive, the accidental vampire will find his place in the sin-eater world and finds his way to eternal romance.

Readers said. 'Very funny, I needed cold showers! I dropped my tablet in the bath! Totally original. Outrageous. The goddesses thread is totally original.' Goddesses - is this what 50 Shades should have been about? Connie Grimshaw, is now a successful businesswoman in an international consultancy. She reached these dizzy heights by believing her mother - work hard and reject emotional needs. On a business trip, the dam bursts and her libido refuses to be silenced. Her PA (Dee) helps her reconcile her lascivious feelings by using a series of parables from ancient goddesses. This works until the goddesses land her in hilarious, embarrassing and sometimes, dangerous situations as she develops the vamp in herself. But there are forces at work, which try to mismanage her feelings. Can she defeat the bad boys? Firstly, she has to deal with Greg, the evil misogynist.

"I love you very much dad, but we've talked about this. I'm not getting married now... or later even, so stop trying to convince me, it won't work." *************** Meet Amelia Phidelia Naa Shika Washington, a twenty-six year old black American woman who has assured herself and everyone else around her that she would never be tied down to any man in marriage. But despite her staunch belief in her assertion, her mother, Kelly Shirley Washington... a loving, religious mum, and drama queen extraordinaire seems to have other plans. Watch the drama unfold, as Mia battles her mother in a never-ending clash of wills, while dealing with an uncontrollable crush on her boss, and a huge pain in her ass... Antonio Valdez. This is war. But who will emerge victorious? Why don't you read and find out?