Funny Harry Potter Jokes

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

Since the very first time Hunter Jones laid his eyes on a petite Asian , Mey Wang, he couldn't take his eyes off her. The resident bad boy is willing to duck his nose deep in Harry Potter books and learn every spell known just to get closer to the Potter-head . Mey likes Hunter but not in a romantic way. She thinks they're too different. She's a nerd and he's a bad boy. Of course, there're a lot of books about a bad boy and a nerd falling in and walking to the sunset together but she's not just a nerd, she's also an Asian. Her parents are old-fashioned people, they'd never approve of someone like Hunter. So she tries her best to escape him. But can you really escape ? There's a potion in the spellbook but there's no un- potion, right? QOTD: Don't let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you . And most importantly, be kind to others, even if you don't like them. Stacy London. Started: 08.01.18 Completed: 22.02.18

He lowered his head and angrily placed a kiss on my lips, I had felt the passion, love and compassion in his previous kisses but right now he was venting out all his anger. He bit my lower lip hard until it was completely swollen and began to bleed, I wanted to cry in pain but he didn't give me a chance and his tongue pried my mouth open and with the help of it he pulled my tongue into his mouth and then bit my tongue. At this moment he was completely consumed by anger and out of his senses, I wanted to use my magic to get rid of him but I could not do that too as he had one of my wrists twisted which was now turning numb with pain and the other was pinned above my head against the wall. Soon his fangs pierced my tongue and this time finally a sharp painful shout left my throat and hit his lips. My lips were now trembling and I just wanted to push him away but as much as I tried that, he kept pushing his body against mine making me loose my mind completely. My painful voice brought him back to his senses and his lips and teeth finally left my mouth, tears flowed through my eyes due to the pain and I looked at him angrily that was when he finally spoke "I told you to be careful but you do every possible thing to rile me up. Your scent is completely different from every person on this earth, it is so appealing and inviting that anyone can find you and that means that no matter how hard you try, you can't escape from me."

Freya Laurent returns to the Blackwood Pack after five years, eager to reunite with her adoptive family. But the moment Alpha Dane, the man who's been her protective brother since childhood sees her, his wolf claims her as his fated mate. ‎ ‎Caught between duty and desire, Dane fights his primal urges while Freya struggles with dreams and an inexplicable pull toward the one man she shouldn't want. When jealous warrior Selene allies with rival Alpha Viktor, their attacks awaken ancient powers within Freya. ‎ ‎She's not just human. She's the Moon Goddess's last descendant, and everyone wants her power. ‎ ‎Can love conquer blood? Or will destiny destroy them both?

"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together." Myles is jolly, friendly and kind as everyone describe, everyone is her friends, expect for one guy that didn't know she existed, Harry. Harry is everyone's crush, he has this charisma that even Myles was captivated. Myles love him and idolize him so much that she was blinded by it. She met Asher while idolizing Harry, but she only sees him as a friend opposite of Asher’s feelings for her. Harry is her first love but does she really love him as she think or she's just stuck to the ideal image of him? First love dies is a story about first love and how we wish for the ideal and are blinded with it.

Ethan Hale never thought desperation would drive him here. He was suffering from a failed engagement, rent was overdue and his pride was hanging by a thread when the discreet contract landed in his lap. A year of surrender to a man who can buy and break anyone? Insanity. Dominic Blackwell isn’t just anyone. He’s ruthless. He’s magnetic. He’s a billionaire with a hunger for control that borders on obsession. And he wants Ethan… body, mind, and soul. What begins as a business arrangement quickly turns into something darker, something Ethan swore he wasn’t capable of craving. Every touch leaves him raw, every command strips him bare, and every night pushes him deeper into a world where pain and pleasure blur until he can’t tell the difference. Ethan told himself he was straight. He told himself this was just about money. But Dominic has a way of dragging out the parts of Ethan he never dared to face: the fantasies, the submission, the need to be owned. One year. That’s all Ethan agreed to. But in Dominic’s arms, rules are broken, lines are crossed, and one year might not be enough to survive…or to let go.

A young guy keeps getting into trouble in very funny and unfortunate ways. He wrecked havocs on people too, mistakenly. He hallucinated and had great fantasies about people to brighten up his hearers. Afterwards, he came back to his mundane reality.

If these three months pass and I don't shed a single tear because of you, Chris... you will apologize to me and my family at the door of our home in my city, on both knees in our neighborhood! His eyes narrowed and shone intensely, only seconds until he came towards me and I was still leaning on the door, he stood right in front of me and raised my chin with his left hand.. He forced me to stare at him and said coldly: I apologize to you?? you ?! I have heard many jokes in my life..but a funny joke like this..I have never heard of it..this was what our agreement stipulated before I threw myself into his world, but events took another turn that I did not expect..who are you!! Which one of them would you be? What is the nature of your colorful world?! Rather, the most important.. What is my fault in all these intertwining and where fate takes me?

Emelia MyCray is a naive, innocent young lady who has always dreamed of fairytale love. Her dream shatters when she finds her fiance in bed with another woman a night before their wedding. Heartbroken and devastated, she drowns herself in alcohol only to accidentally crash into a luxurious car owned by billionaire CEO –Isaiah Lyon. Isaiah Lyon, billionaire CEO of the Lyon Enterprise, the biggest organization in all of Mexico and a ruthless leader of an underground empire. A cold and ruthless man who has no interest in love whatsoever, a man only got into a contract relationship for the sake of his public standing. Determined to get her back at her fiance ,Emelia MyCray requests to be Isaiah's contracted girlfriend. But Isaiah has one rule ; no love or affection Emilia MyCray, a naive innocent young lady and Isaiah Lyon, a cold ruthless man. What happens when these two worlds collide? Will Isaiah teach innocent, naive Jane into his cold ruthless world of pleasure or will Emelia show him the joy of simple things life has to offer?