Funny Humorous Poems Novels & Stories

"Can you cut your crap and stop whining?" A growl from the back of the kink shop can be heard, passer-bys try not to look at the slender woman who stood quivering infront of her seemingly annoyed husband. "Hun, may I ask why we're here-","-Well one of the reasons is you're a bore" The atmosphere felt tight, heavy even. Snickering can be heard from afar and abit of chatter that can be obvious the topic is about them: sexually frustrated husband dragging his wife in a kink and lingerie shop. "Here-" The man took a garment from the rack that looked to be of a school uniform. It had a tiny crop top and a skirt that was as small as a belt. "-wear it or so help me, you will walk home"

[I found out Daniel Ortega, the notorious delinquent at my high school, is actually a cat-loving gentle soul. Now, it's time to use it against him to get what I want.] Things get a lot more exciting for Logan Smith, a 17-year-old student from Skyland high school, when he catches Daniel Ortega in a vulnerable state. Logan is a scholarship boy-a genius prodigy who is expected to get into the best college once he graduates. Daniel Ortega is seen as the walking terror in high school. He is rough around the edges, tattooed, tall and muscular, and rumored to be a complete psychopath. But underneath his scarred skin hides a big heart. Daniel, however, doesn't want anyone to find out about his soft heart. His reputation as a bad boy makes people leave him alone, and he intends to keep it that way. But the problem arises when Logan finds out his secret. He threatens to expose Daniel as a secretly nice person unless Daniel beats up one of Logan's bullies on his behalf. Daniel doesn't like violence, but he has no choice but to agree since he doesn't want to lose his reputation as the high school bad boy. The sooner Daniel beats up the bully, the sooner he can return to being a lone wolf. He wants nothing to do with him after, yet, Logan seems to be attracted to him like the moth to a flame, and Danny can't seem to get rid of him!

This story is about an angel who comes to earth and falls in love with a human. And struggle with his destiny.

Ivy Reed, a twenty year old with a haunting past. Ace Romano, the soon-to-be Italian mafia boss and also Ivy's brother's best friend who instantly takes a liking in Ivy when he first sees her. What happens when Ivy finds herself falling for him? And he, for her? Read to find out

Marina is a girl with a great passion for medicine, she has two childhood friends, Lina and Hasan. The three people's friendship relationship was very good when suddenly there was a problem. Because his friend Hasan did not reciprocate Lina's feelings, instead falling in love with Marina. After Lina learned of Hasan's feelings for Marina, their relationship changed from friend to foe. Because she was too stubborn to have Hasan's affection, Lina tried every way to cut off their feelings. By chance Lina knew the secret of fate from her previous life, she decided to cut off the relationship between Marina and Hasan from her previous life, so that in this life the two of them could not be together. Lina then secretly used her parents' invention to return to the past, but because it was a test version, the machine malfunctioned and exploded, causing Lina's parents to die, thereby increasing Lina's hatred towards Marina. up. But despite exploding, the space vortex still brought Lina's spirit to the past and entered the body in her previous life. The first thing after Lina woke up was to kill Marina in the past, but because of that, it accidentally caused Marina to also get sick. pulled back to his previous life as the ancient Canal period. From there, Marina's journey to find out why she was dragged back to this era and how to return begins. With her medical knowledge Marina quickly became famous and gained more companions. During the journey Marina also met Prince Alex who is Hasan's previous life, their relationship quickly improved but also made Lina know that Marina was still alive. Since then Marina has to face malicious plots from Lina

Sample: ' “Motherfucking dog is what he is , damn it” she chugged her drink down . She pointed her unsteady hand at her two best friends who were watching the show unfold . “ All men are the same . HEARTLESS CHEATING BASTARDS . Do you hear me? Heartless cheating bastards ” Casey screamed at the men sitting on a nearby table. “Yes, that's what you all are . Cheaters . Bloodsucking vampires, you use women like chewing gum and spit them out after you use them”. She placed her glass with a loud bang , almost falling off the table. She joined her hands while looking up at the ceiling, blinking . “If someone up there is listening, I wish all these men would suffer from crabs so bad , they would scratch it so hard that their dicks will fall off ”. She looked down and pointed a finger at them. “This is my curse on your species ”. She turned back to her friends leaving behind a group of mortified men with wide eyes who were left there holding their junks in fear . ' Casey has always been a hopeless romantic, searching for the one person who will finally return her love. Owen, on the surface, has it all—wealth, fame, and an endless stream of admirers. Yet despite his many conquests, he shuns commitment, refusing to be tied to anyone. When a scandal threatens his reputation, Owen concocts a plan: a fake engagement to Casey, In return, he promises to help her win a man. It soon grows complicated.Owen finds himself unexpectedly drawn to Casey but just when love seems within reach, Owen's past returns—his ex, stirring old emotions and doubts. What happened next read in my book ‘Mr Wrong'

When her identical twin sister and her mum pass away in a road accident, Araya and her dad move from London to Texas for a fresh start. In an effort to deal with the pain, Araya creates an online account in her late sister's name. In an unexpected twist of events, Pierce, the guy she has a crush on becomes friends with Sky, her online utraego. As senior here begins, the pressure on Araya mounts as she deals with high school, coaching a famous footballer, and running her own players' agency. As she falls more in love with Pierce and it looks like he might return her feelings, she has to decide whether to tell him her secret or not. Things become even more middled when Gunther, Sky's boyfriend whom she also likes gets back into the picture, and Pierce starts falling for both Sky and Araya, without knowing that they are one and the same. Will Araya finally choose herself? Or will she forever live in Sky's shadow?

Part 1: completed. Sequel: Completed || Clara, a human born to werewolf parents, is a notorious member of the White Soul Pack. Everybody is troubled by her even the alpha. So when she finds her mate, everyone is ecstatic except her. But she never knew her mate would lead her to her family and its deep dark secrets which were buried for years. ||

Em: I've had dreams upon dreams and then they started to seep into reality. What was once a normal life has now turned upside down. The question that keeps flitting through my mind, is he my savior because I sure as hell don't need someone to save me or is he going to destroy me... If he wants to play this twisted game, let him. Let's show how twisted I can be. Cole: It's as if she sees right through me, I try to lead her away from me. I'm too dangerous and unstable for her but she makes me feel shit. I lied to her about who I am. Where I am from and what I can do. Even as I try to stay away she keeps pulling me in, like siren waiting to destroy.

Everyone might also have this usual attraction to handsome guys, but Aurora Lynne Lopez's is different. She gets so obsessed with handsome lads that she won't let them pass without having them fall for her. When she met an insanely good-looking man named Keifer Sarmiento, she suddenly felt challenged. But out of all the handsome guys, she had never liked Jatt Heron Mendoza, which is her friend's crush and whom people praised for his looks. When both these guys entered her life to piss her off and to have her constantly daydreaming, who would managed to make her fall truly? Who would become Aurora's choice?