Funny Humorous Poems Novels & Stories

"Make sure you wipe the counter," I remind him while wearing my panties. "With my tongue?" "Sure, if you wipe again with disinfectant after that." "Awww my little girl all grown up, using the word disinfectant and all. Bet you're getting deflowered any day now!" I smack his head while he laughs, thinking it's funny to keep on teasing me since last week. "I hope his willy isn't as big as mine," okay what now, "so he won't hurt your flower." I wanted to be mad at him, I do, but I laugh instead, stupid Toffer and his little boy talk. *** 30 year old Nina is confused with her hopeless love life. While her best friend pleasures women in the next room, she remains in her space keeping her virginity in-tact, wondering if she’s meant to be with her first love or she needs to move on to find her true soulmate. It takes my first love to end my dating strike. But will it take my first love to end my virginity?

“Here, you will be prepared for what would be THE most important night of your life. Several other girls have gone before you and have obviously failed but you can be the chosen one. Do as you’re told, no funny business, and most importantly, turn on your charm because you will be having dinner with the Alpha King tonight! Good luck girls.” *** Those words had seemed simple at first but that was until the time came to face the reality. Elysia, an orphaned omega girl with untapped powers, finds herself thrust into a perilous destiny. When a cursed Lycan, tormented by the darkness within, seeks her out as his last hope, Elysia must make a harrowing choice. To break the curse that plagues him, she must become a Surrogate for the man who wasn’t only known to be ruthless and vicious but had also been the source of her deepest pain. Will Elysia be able to move past her hatred for the Alpha and save him with a child or will she choose the path of revenge and make him pay for what he had done? Dive into a world of magic, love, revenge and temptation in this captivating tale of Fate.

"He's a ruthless Demon, father! no one wants to breathe the same air as him let alone marrying him, I can't!" Kiara's lips trembled terribly as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Funny how you think you have a choice," Alpha Ezra chuckled dryly, ignoring the bitter tears of his daughter as he continued. "No one wants you Kiara, not even your fated mate, that's because you are wolfless and as such, useless, Hyde is your only ticket out of shame, we could only hope that he doesn't reject you too." *** Rejected by her true mate and ridiculed by the entire pack for being wolfless, Kiara was forced into the hands of the ruthless king Hyde in a cold marriage. Hyde Montero is a nightmare, They call him the Demon King because everyone believed he had no soul, he was fright itself. his eyes held coldness that no heat can melt. Everything you'd hear in a mystical horror story. But only one woman held the key that'd draw a gleam of light to his dark soul. Could that woman be Kiara?

When fate decides to play its funny tricks, a clueless Luna is forced to fight against the impossible.. Eighteen year old and shy, Miranda Dagel is in her final year in high school, but is anything but excited about her forthcoming graduation. She has lived her life in a complete haze, never doing anything interesting. She hates her fat self, her school and hates her life. Eighteen now and still no boyfriend. Even her bestfriend wouldn't understand her restlessness. Mira finds herself longing, desperate for something exciting _ an adventure. Searching for a way to escape reality. One warm summer night, Mira's eyes catch a shadow standing by her window. Soon this shadow would become a reality_her reality. A man who scares her but shifts her perspective of the world, a living labyrinth who could change from a human to something else entirely. Little did she know that the adventure she had always sought for would start with an abduction. From that moment, it may become impossible to escape this reality.. because this may now be her world, her world as the Alpha's abducted Luna.

Two years ago, Ava Anetha vanished without a word—on the very night she was fated to become Luna. Most believed she was dead. She was betrayed and left to rot while her sister claimed everything that was hers. But fate rewound the clock, giving her a second chance. Ava returned with a vengeance and a dark secret. She was the true heir of the crimson Moon pack, a bloodline tied to ancient magic. Her list is long and every name will bleed. what she didn't plan on was him, Malcolm Hartwell, Alpha of the powerful Nightfang Pack....and the father of her ex mate. His powerful, dominant and dangerously obsessed with her scent. He's everything she should hate, older, cold, untouchable. But he sees through her. The huger for revenge, the rage, and funny enough, he wants it all. He wants her. Now Evelyn must walk the razor's edge between vengeance and something deeper than love, because when the devil himself offers you his hand, the question isn't if you'll take it, it's how long you will last before you beg him to stop.

A contemporary romance series full of hot nerds from USA TODAY Bestselling Author Megan Matthews. San Francisco is heating up this summer.With grad school under my belt I’m ready to start the next chapter of my life. San Francisco is a brand-new city. I have an amazing apartment, a new job, family, and friends to keep me occupied. Life in the city will be easy. Or at least it would if I could figure out why my heart skips a beat every time I see my hot neighbor.Handsome, funny, and always around right when I need him, Finnegan McRyan is my own personal knight in shining armor. The tousled hair and sexy glasses don’t hurt his appeal either. Finn acts like the perfect man, but there’s something about him that has me questioning if it’s too good to be true.Can I count on him when it really matters or is Finn using his good guy image to hide the truth?#explicit content#Age 18+The Boys of RDA is created by Megan Matthews, an eGlobal Creative Publishing Signed Author

The world might think billionaire Xavier Gaines has it all, but he’s got a big problem. His successful software company is about to sign a government contract that’ll land him smack in the glare of the public limelight, and his lifelong battle with social anxiety has marked him as a cold, uncaring bastard in the eyes of the press. To dispel the unflattering image, he needs help, and there’s only one person he trusts with the job—Peyton Smoke. Gorgeous, kind, and funny, she agrees to be his media relations director and soon imbeds herself so deeply in his life, his world will crumble if anything upsets the balance. He cannot screw up their solid unit. No matter how achingly he desires her. Yet, how is he supposed to resist when she tugs emotions from him he didn’t think he was capable of experiencing? Especially since it appears he’s not the only one fighting their undeniable attraction. Ever-after might be possible...if he can convince her to believe in love again.Counterbalance is created by Kelly Moran, an EGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

__________________ Ivy Reed, a twenty year old with a haunting past. Ace Romano, the Italian mafia boss and also Ivy's brother's best friend who instantly takes a liking in Ivy when he first sees her.

Lei Kali Angeles, isa siyang barista sa isang Milk Tea Shop. Dahil sa pandemic, nagbawas ng tao ang kanyang pinapasukan na shop. Ngunit, sa mga nagdaan na buwan, unti-unti itong bumalik, at isa siya sa mapalad na tinawagan ng kanyang employer para muling magtrabaho. Pero tila ang kasiyahan niya nang matanggap ang balitang iyon ay kaakibat ng isang negatibong balita. Naging mandatory ang pagpapa-vaccine ng mga tao. Paano na kaya siya ngayon? Kung isa pa naman sa kinakatakutan niya ay ang magpa-inject. Sa pagkakataon kaya na iyon, handa na siyang harapin ang kanyang takot? O mananatili siyang tatalikuran iyon katulad kung paano niya hindi hinarap ang mga kakulangan sa kanyang pagkatao dahil sa iyon ang kinalakihan niya sa kanyang ina? Maging daan kaya ang mandatory vaccine, para tuluyan na niyang harapin ang kanyang mga takot na matagal at palagi niyang tinatalikuran?

She rubbed her forehead profusely, "You do, you could walk away and save yourself now and I will be fine and I will understand." He glanced at her and his gaze locked and there was a level of sincerity in them, "If I save myself, who's going to save you?" ***** Jasmin Whyte was a twenty-six-year-old thief who ran away from her boyfriend after she caught him cheating, an excuse to finally leave her old life behind and start over, but when she discovered that she was two weeks pregnant for her him, she began back to her old ways. It wasn't long before she fell into trouble which was how she ran into billionaire Cainan Inferno and her life took an unexpected turn. Cainan Inferno was a thirty-three-year-old Billionaire and the CEO of The Inferno group which was the largest company in the country. He once had it all with money and looks, but his life took a sour turn after he lost his wife Neriah Gomez to cancer. Meeting Jasmin Whyte sparked the feeling he thought was long dead and he knew the only one capable of helping him move on from his late wife was her. He tracked her down and made her an offer she couldn't refuse while ignoring all the threats her past posed to his name, reputation and social status. All he asks in return was for her to steal his heart. Will she be able to do the one thing he asks or will she lose her heart in the process?