Funny Jokes For Adults Clean

His eyes burned, his voice dripping low but sharper than a knife. “I will do whatever, whatever it takes, Leylla. And if I fail, I would rather take my own life than see you become my stepmother!” She squared her shoulders, then let out a devilish, cold smirk. Her voice dripped raw, devoid of any warmth. “If that happens, Vincent, I will gladly descend your casket into the base of your grave with my own hands.” _____________________________________________________________________ He was her greatest love, one that she had held on to as if it were her own precious life. But he took it all for granted, used her, and when he was done, he dumped her for her only friend. Shattered and confused, Leylla bumped into a strange, breathtaking sugar daddy. He gave her an offer that she couldn't resist: a one-night stand. But the morning after, she discovered that the man she had slept with was none other than her ex's father and the senior surgeon at the hospital. And because fate always has a wicked way of exposing the truth, their affair comes to light, and a scandal explodes. Now, her ex would rather die than see her become his stepmother, while his father is willing to lose everything for her. A love once sweet,turned sour. Two lovers, turned into mortal rivals. Sweet promises, turned into dangerous, life-threatening threats. And threats? They are starting to turn real, one by one. And finally, death???

On a trip to Chicily, my wife, Rosa Stone, and her first love, Jack Cud, insisted on feeding wild, starving wolves. I simply reminded them, "You might attract more hungry wolves." They turned on me, calling me a heartless monster. In the end, I was right. A pack of wolves really did show up. They circled the car, watching us hungrily. Jack was bitten by one. To my surprise, Rosa kicked me out of the car, yelling, "Jack is hurt! He needs to be taken to the hospital! Distract the wolves, I'll come back for you!" I watched them drive away, leaving me behind, surrounded by hungry wolves closing in from all sides. My heart sank. But, Rosa forgot one thing—I was a great Wolvesmith.

"I'm sorry." She said clearing her throat unnecessarily in embarrassment. Oh Gosh, he was even more handsome up close and personal. Gosh, and he was bigger, could her day get any more better? He smiled and she melted, inside. On the outside, she has a blank face. Wow, his smile was breathtaking "I'm Luke" He said extending his hand out to her "Lena." She said, slipping her hand into his. Perfect fit, his hand was both soft and hard at the same time, somewhere in between. "Can I get you a drink?" "I already-" Vero kicked her thigh again and she closed her eyes for a second. "I already have a drink. But yes, I would love you to get me a drink" He smiled at her again, for some reason, admired her unmoved faze. He'd seen how her friend kicked her. "Two shots of devil spring" He said to the bartender and drew a seat for himself "By the way. This is my friend, Veronica." "Hi" He nodded "Hi." "I'm Luke" "Yeah, I know" She said with a smile, said something to Lena and left. Lena did not seem to happy about it he could tell. "So, uh... What brings you here tonight? Thank you" He referred to the bartender as he set their drinks on the table. "Uh... I guess I just wanted to get out." "No". She raised a finger up, bringing her beer to her mouth. "Don't try to ask questions. I know what you want. Okay" He smiled "And quit smiling. I've seen enough of your dentals already. Okay let's get drunk first so I'll have some courage. Lets do this"

In my previous life, I had been suffering from a terminal illness when I won the lottery.  To my shock, Mommy advised me to forgo treatment and leave the winnings to my younger brother, David, to use for his marriage.  I refused to become an accessory to his future, so, behind my parents’ backs, I donated every bit of it to an orphanage.  When they found out, they were furious. They called me a heartless, ungrateful wretch.  After severing ties with me, they abandoned me at the hospital. On David's birthday, they gathered as a family and celebrated him while I was left to die in the hospital, utterly alone. When I opened my eyes again, I found myself back on the day I had won the lottery.  Recalling the pain and betrayal of my past life, I resolved to leave my parents that very day.  But to my surprise, when I returned home, they had completely changed.  They doted on me and showered me with affection.

John Garnett's secretary fed me to the dogs on my own birthday. I called his number endlessly to call for help, only for him to block my number immediately, as he fooled around with his secretary at the presidential suite in broad daylight. All I felt was agony as I was ripped into countless little pieces, still holding on to the black rose seeds he had given me when we were younger. That was not thrilling enough for the secretary, however, she buried me in the backyard of John' villa, intent on making my perished soul watch their bedroom activities. It was not until rain poured a month later, and a cluster of black roses suddenly grew in the backyard. "Where's Claire? I was just scaring her with the dogs—did she run away just to spite me?"

Forbidden heat, chemistry, obsession. Roses are red, trouble looks good, and Elara was not prepared for this kind of heat. She thought her cheating, abusive husband was the best she could get. Two lost pregnancies. A family that body-shamed her and mocked her hard work like it was a hobby. She wanted peace. She got Adrian. Adrian…. cold, brilliant, infuriatingly attractive. A final-year student with eyes that lingered too long and a secret billionaire empire no one knew he controlled. A man used to getting everything he wants. She’s off-limits. He’s obsessed. And when their desire crosses the line, it ignites something neither of them can put out. What happens when the student no one dares to cross falls for the professor who thinks she’s unworthy of desire? This semester? They’re both failing self-control.

My dormmate falls in the dorm and sends the rest of us the hospital bill. She wants us to compensate her. "I only fell because you guys left a puddle of water at the door. It's only right that you compensate me, don't you think? It's not much—you each just have to give me a thousand dollars to cover the checkup, medication, transport, the classes I missed, and the mental distress I suffered." I exchange looks with my two other dormmates. All three of us politely decline. That's when she goes berserk. She screeches threateningly, "Do you know who my father is? I'll make sure you guys can't graduate if you don't compensate me!"

Ivy Chase had the perfect life - wealth, status, and a great boyfriend. But when she discovers that her best friend and boyfriend betrayed her, she goes to her boyfriend’s enemy, Parker Wellington, for help. As Ivy plots her revenge, she finds herself drawn to Parker. Is she falling for the enemy, or is he just a pawn in her game of revenge?

Aisling Maverick life becomes living hell when her mate Azelaic Rowen who was a beta disappear from her life without any trace. Aisling was left heartbroken but with only one choice to return to her pack, to family. Being the weakest omega in her pack she faced a lot of backlash from the pack members and from her father but Aisling's life took a unexpected turn when she met Archard harvest. The ruthless heir of Dark wolves Pack. Aisling unknownly, challenge him and found herself in the plan of him. The lights above me began to flicker. A few seconds later, the lights went out, turning the hallway utterly dark, which made me stop from running because I couldn't see anything. " No..No…No… Not now, please goddammit!" I thought. Suddenly, a sharp pain cuts through my thoughts, a hand that grips my arm and squeezes too tight. It's Him. He caught me and I felt an inmes pressure on my arm and had a vise-like grip on my arm. He could rip my arm out of my torso.My heart was pounding out of my chest. He could hear it. The only thing I could see was his glowing eyes in the dark void. His eyes were devastated. Large, dark, and inviting, they were the sort of open windows that decent people draped. I was so caught up in them that I forgot about my pain for a moment

Maya runs away from home, escaping an arranged marriage to an unfamiliar city-Chicago. Attacked and robbed of everything, she's left with nothing-no money, no safety, no hope. When a strip club poster catches her eye, Maya makes a decision: one night on stage could earn her enough for a room, maybe even a way to survive. Instead, she meets Roman Volkov. Cold, ruthless, and untouchable, Roman is the Mafia boss who owns the city's underworld. He makes her an offer: one night with him, and she'll have more money than she knows what to do with. It should be simple. Just a deal. Just one night in Chicago with a man she'll never see again. But when the sun rises, Maya learns the truth: No one spends just one night with Roman Volkov.