Funny Jokes For Adults Clean

On the first day of classes, my roommate gives me a crystal bracelet as a welcome gift. Without thinking, I quickly adorn it around her mother's wrist. In my past life, my roommate wanted to be a social butterfly. She was determined to have a hundred boyfriends by the time she graduated. But no matter how reckless she was, she never ended up conceiving. On the other hand, I kept getting pregnant and having countless miscarriages. But unlike her, I had never been in a relationship. The entire university mocked me, labeling me promiscuous and shameless. During my 66th miscarriage, I died on the operating table from severe bleeding. It was only after death that I realized the crystal bracelet my roommate gave me had somehow linked our wombs together. As soon as I opened my eyes, I realized I had gone back to the first day of the semester.

For the past nineteen years Maya has been living with the feeling that her mom would one day return home to her since his father lied to him that she ran away the night she was born. In a quest to find answers to why her mother abandoned them, Maya found out that her mother never left instead she was killed. What would happen once she finds out that her own father is the main culprit?

"We are not related by blood, there is nothing wrong in what we are doing." He assured her. "What if Dad and Mom find out?" She asked. "That's why we have to keep it a secret," he said, caressing her cheeks as their lips locked. Camilla falls in love with her stepbrother, Andrew who is one year older than her. He is twenty-one years old while she is twenty. Everything about him drives her crazy. Things seem to be perfect as their little secret is kept hidden not until Derek, Andrew's best friend, gets their shady acts on tape and threatens her with it. Is it advisable to screw two best friends? Will Andrew believe she was only doing him a favor?

those with money had power. those with power ruled the lupus colony: the world's largest ruthless pack. with a steady decline of desirable omegas over the years, a breeding program had been established where elite wolves and members of the lupus deus council could bid millions of dollars yearly for a hybrid of their own. a wolf created for the sole purpose of fulfilling her alpha's every desire. but what happens when one wolf escapes after committing a crime punishable by death, only to find protection in the shadow of death himself?

My dormmate falls in the dorm and sends the rest of us the hospital bill. She wants us to compensate her. "I only fell because you guys left a puddle of water at the door. It's only right that you compensate me, don't you think? It's not much—you each just have to give me a thousand dollars to cover the checkup, medication, transport, the classes I missed, and the mental distress I suffered." I exchange looks with my two other dormmates. All three of us politely decline. That's when she goes berserk. She screeches threateningly, "Do you know who my father is? I'll make sure you guys can't graduate if you don't compensate me!"

After being betrayed by her sister and boyfriend, Barbara Calvin decided to nurse her wound and vow not to fall in love but then again, she had to attend a ball, the only option is renting a boyfriend. She ended up renting a cold-hearted CEO, whom she accidentally punched because he reminded her of her predicament. CEO Dante, who the city refers to as a woman hater, and his slogan is punishing any offender, even for the slightest thing they do to him. Will he reciprocate the love she had for him when she start falling in love with him even without knowing his true identity? After finding out the truth, will she still love him or move on with her life?

"Get this woman out of here; I don't want to see her face ever again!" With those words, the warmth I once saw in my husband's eyes has gone. ***** Faking her death, Clara decided to escape her city while pregnant. She chooses to leave everything about her billionaire husband, James Morgan, behind after realizing that the man she thought would eventually love her was only growing to hate her even more. But, what if fate reunites them again? Clara with her new successful life and James with his ex-lover who is now his wife. Strangely, seeing Clara with another man sparked jealousy he never knew he had, and James wanted her back. But will Clara be willing to return to his arms after all the pain he gave? And after being faced with the option to choose James' brother instead?

I fell in love with him at first sight. From the moment our eyes connected on my first day in the new school, I felt the connection and I swear he did too. Something happened though and he has hated me since. Swearing that I was his to punish, his to torture. Liam Hale become my bully. Tormenting me with his hate and cruelty. Making my life a living hell. I want him to stop, to leave me alone but how will that happen when I crave him, his touch and his savage kisses. How will I be able to resist him when my body involuntarily reacts to him? Especially when he wraps his fingers around my neck and whispers "You're mine bunny"

I was the son of the wealthiest man in Capital City, but I had never enjoyed the flattery and fake smiles that came with that title. All I had ever wanted was a normal life. Now that I was pushing twenty-eight and still single, my mom finally lost her patience. She gave me an ultimatum: go on a blind date or she’d disown me. On my way to the date, I passed by a luxury boutique and spotted a watch that immediately caught my eye. I was just about to pay for it when, out of nowhere, a man barged in from behind and slapped a black card down on the counter. “I’ll take this watch. Wrap it up for me,” he said. I stayed calm and said politely, “Sir, I saw this watch first.” However, he just scoffed and snapped back, full of arrogance, “A broke nobody like you can look but not afford it. Get lost. I’m the assistant to Ms. Jackson, the CEO of Jackson Group. In this city, if I want something, no one will fight me for it.” Ms. Jackson? Isn’t that the exact woman I was supposed to be meeting for the blind date? Without another word, I pulled out my phone and dialed her number. “Selena,” I said calmly, “do you know your assistant is out here throwing your name around to bully people?”

Ever since her parents died, nerdy Amelia Forbes has always been bullied by the school's bad boy and jock, Jason. Ruthless and drop dead gorgeous, Jason makes her school years a living hell. Meaner than the devil himself, he is always sure to ruin Mel's day. One day, they are paired up for a school project and in the process of working on the project at home, Jason forces himself on her. Ashamed, Mel feels disgusted with her inability to stand up for herself and soon, she finds out she is pregnant with her bully's baby. Scared out of her wits, poor Mel is helpless. No one is willing to come to her aid except Adrian, Jason's best friend. And as Jason sees Mel with Adrian, he begins to get jealous and soon, he finds himself falling for Mel. But will Mel ever forgive him? Will she ever forget the wrongs he had done to her?