Funny Jokes For Adults Clean

My dormmate falls in the dorm and sends the rest of us the hospital bill. She wants us to compensate her. "I only fell because you guys left a puddle of water at the door. It's only right that you compensate me, don't you think? It's not much—you each just have to give me a thousand dollars to cover the checkup, medication, transport, the classes I missed, and the mental distress I suffered." I exchange looks with my two other dormmates. All three of us politely decline. That's when she goes berserk. She screeches threateningly, "Do you know who my father is? I'll make sure you guys can't graduate if you don't compensate me!"

“Coming up next, Omega 36! Green eyes, blonde hair, curvy figure. A real catch! This one even comes with a bonus. She has a child!” The red curtain in front of us gradually pulls open. I’m momentarily blinded by the glaring strong light up front. Yet I don’t even need to look at those men sitting down stage to know that their eyes are filled with disgusting lust. I can only hold the child in my arms and slowly move forward.

For someone like Isabella Evans, a one night stand was never in the books. But her entire life changed on her wedding day, when she finds her husband-to-be, cheating with his secretary. After getting her heart broken, she retires to a bar where she sleeps with a stranger before leaving town the next day, only to discover in a few weeks, that she was pregnant. Seven years later, she had birthed twins for a man she was sure she would never see again, but fate brings her back to her hometown where she settles for a job with a very successful hotel. What happens when she finds out Leonardo, the most powerful billionaire in Norman is her boss, and even worse, that the reason her heart pounded each time she saw him was because he was the man she knew a few years back—the father of her kids. Even further complicating things was Colton, the man she was supposed to marry then. Now pursued by two men, Isabella is faced with the toughest decisions. When would Leonardo recognize her and in fact realize he has children of his own? How would Colton face such reality? And alas, who would she choose—the father of her kids, or her first love?

Sierra returns to Willow Creek, her small village with a wish to have a simple Christmas with her family. Relationship and love was far away from her agenda after her rough divorce but a second chance came knocking on a winter morning in the guise of the hot, billionaire biker. She tries to run from her feelings but it only pulls her in, rolling her into a holiday of drama, choas and a whirlwind of emotions.

He's the cold-hearted billionaire I despise, my brother's best friend, and completely off-limits. But when he needs a fake girlfriend, he makes me an offer I can’t resist... For ten years, Michael Bonell was my secret obsession. The charming troublemaker who was my total opposite. Until one dreadful night made me vow to never speak to him again. When his fiancée hires me to photograph their wedding, it feels like a cruel twist of fate. But the wedding is canceled at the last minute. And instead of the refund I can't afford to give, Michael demands something else. A date. To his ex-fiancée’s wedding. Pretending to love the man I loathe is easier than I expected. Michael kisses me like he means it and protects me like I've always been his. Until I start to question if he's ever hated me at all. But one thing hasn’t changed — we can never be together, or I risk losing everything that matters. One week with the man I can't forget. One bed. One rule — don’t fall in love. But what if I already have?

After the birth of our daughter, my husband left for a dangerous mission. My in-laws' initial joy soured, and they regarded my baby with disdain. Maria, my mother-in-law, was particularly scornful. In a rare show of familial love, my father-in-law Lincoln took my daughter out for a playdate. I thought he had finally grown fond of her, only for him to strike me the moment he returned. "How dare you betray my son! I'll kill you!" "Yes! Beat that loose woman to death together with that brat!" Shifting my gaze from the report on the floor to my furious father-in-law, I pulled out several photos—my naked mother-in-law Maria, caught with another man. "Let's see who the real loose woman is!"

Ever since her parents died, nerdy Amelia Forbes has always been bullied by the school's bad boy and jock, Jason. Ruthless and drop dead gorgeous, Jason makes her school years a living hell. Meaner than the devil himself, he is always sure to ruin Mel's day. One day, they are paired up for a school project and in the process of working on the project at home, Jason forces himself on her. Ashamed, Mel feels disgusted with her inability to stand up for herself and soon, she finds out she is pregnant with her bully's baby. Scared out of her wits, poor Mel is helpless. No one is willing to come to her aid except Adrian, Jason's best friend. And as Jason sees Mel with Adrian, he begins to get jealous and soon, he finds himself falling for Mel. But will Mel ever forgive him? Will she ever forget the wrongs he had done to her?

**Dark Romance** Being the new girl is hard, Mary is shy, introverted, and prefers the solitude of being with her books than people. But in her new school, things became different as she got noticed by the wrong people. She catches the attention of the school's bad boy who begins to taunt and ridicule her. ***** I played with my fingers as he stared, he didn't stop staring and I was finding it hard to maintain eye contact with him. His stare was making me feel uncomfortable. I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing here alone. "Mary Davies," he whispered my name. "You are still a virgin right?" He asked smirking. "Hmmmn... Untouched. Innocent. Just like I have always wanted." He whispered, trailing a finger down my collar bone. "I am going to have so much fun with you," he whispered again, kissing my ear lobes. "So much fun." He added, stepping away from me. He began to walk towards the door. "See you tonight."

New book: Alpha's moonborn mate is OUT now. Read it today8-) ____ Trap. That's what he assumed he was setting for her! Max stokes. The heir to a billion dollar fashion empire has never been seen crushing over a girl as much as he was doing to Stella Miller, the newly retained employee. Stella had never anticipated to catch the CEO'S eyes like that either. However, there was a fire of revenge burning under the back of his impressive eyes that was supposed to burn her! 'He thought it was him who was playing her but he didn't know, she had many more secrets darker than his own.' *Contains mature stuff. Read at your risk*

After three years of secretly dating my boyfriend, I finally called my mom. "Mom, I've decided—I'm coming home to run the family business." She practically squealed through the phone. "That's such good news! But... what about your boyfriend?" I stood at the door, took a breath, and said, "Don't worry. In ten days, he's history."