Funny Mcqueen Novels & Stories

he asked her, giving her an innocent look. “You think you’re very funny, don’t you, you little piece of Gorilla Fart?” she asked him angrily, trying to turn his joke on him. Mac and Tara actually laughed this time. N-1-9-8-9 gave her a dazzling smile. “Ahhh… she is smart,” he said. “And nope, I’m not funny. I just think I’m a little too hot.” Mac took a gulp of his beer. “Left fist or right fist, Yenny. Just say the word and I’ll give it to him,” he offered.

Slowly, I turned my head. ​Mike and Jake had stopped their conversation. Jake was leaning against the hood with a hand over his mouth, trying—and failing—to hide a massive smirk. Mike, however, was looking at me like I was a strange, microscopic bug that had just landed on his designer shoes. He didn't look furiously explosive; he just looked incredibly annoyed and deeply amused by my frantic meltdown.

he groans. "Fuck!" he exclaims, kicking at his tires. He complains while I stand with my eyes pouting as they are slightly swollen and red. I look from him to the parking lot around us. The McLaren I just stepped out of nothing compared to the line of supercars spread out before me. I see Lamborghini's, Ferrari's, several Bugatti Veyrons, and surprisingly even Mustangs?...

Bradley Fry, my CEO husband, loves bringing his friends home for meals the most. He claims that this makes them feel like an actual family. As they drink in the feast I've whipped up for everyone, one of Bradley's friends comments smilingly, "I knew that you were a virtuous one, Emily! Now this is how the legitimate wife should act!" My expression doesn't falter as I ask in a half-joking manner, "Oh? Does Bradley have a spoiled and pampered mistress by his side, then?" His friends are stunned by my question. A trace of panic crosses their eyes simultaneously. But Bradley just wraps an arm around my shoulders with a smile. "Don't listen to their nonsense, Emily. Who else is worthy as my

I could see everything from our dorm to the track and we were so far up that the boys looked like ants. "This is amazing!" I said in excitement He smiled as he pulled out his meal while sitting on a giant rock "I'm glad you like it." I quietly sat across from him upon another rock before I began devouring my meal. "Damn you really do love McDonald's." He laughed "Mick Dicks is my shit!" I said between fries He chuckled "You're really funny." I smiled "Thank you, I'm glad you asked me on this date, I'm having a lot of fun."

” I lower my head, but I’m not fast enough to stifle a giggle. “And take me, for instance. I might appear like a meathead at the first meeting, but soon enough, it’s apparent that I’m a knight in shining black. And I have nuts of steel.” That does it. The last of my reserve crumbles, and I start laughing so hard that my stomach hurts, and tears form in the corners of my eyes. When I can finally unfold enough to look at Mike, he’s laughing too, and his beauty is definitely not subtle. It’s so in your face that it makes my pulse accelerate dangerously. He’d probably look deadly cool even if he got stuck driving a granny mobile every single day for the rest of his life. You know, those big cars

McKaye held his laugh enough for his face to turn red while the woman with big fake boobs chewing gum just pissed me off. “Alpha, I’m getting bored! Unless you’ll finish him now, or I’m going home!”

Normally, I’d made a point to keep my mouth shut from worry Mack’s assistant would question the true reasoning for our Friday meetings. Mack caught my chin. “Nope, music to my ears. It makes me come often. Now earlier today, you did get a little whiny,” he deadpanned. I smacked his chest, and he laughed. His facetious comments rarely bothered me. I was used to his dry sense of humor. I was getting good at figuring out when he was being snarky versus playful.

‎“I am not.” ‎“You are.” ‎“I’m not.” ‎The cabin sways slightly as the wheel starts moving again. ‎Mikhail makes a low, strangled sound. ‎Then he leans over the side. ‎And throws up. ‎I stare. ‎Then burst out laughing so hard I almost fall off the seat. ‎He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, glaring at me. ‎“Shut up.” ‎I can’t stop. ‎“You just puked off the side of a Ferris wheel!”

“I think I’ll sit this one out.” I frown and lean forward slightly. “Come on man. Don’t be such a buzz kill.” I snort, shaking my head. “You sound so much like McCoy now.” Back in our crew, we were the hotshots, the ones everyone wanted to get to know. And there were those who were our polar opposites. McCoy was one of them. He used to be an absolute pain in my ass, constantly telling me I needed to work hard and prove myself as a Naval officer and how we needed to stop drinking and clubbing if we wanted to live long. Then there were his bad jokes. Terrible actually. Jokes that should never see the light of day but he made a habit of telling them. That kind of bullshit.